Hi everyone,
It has been 6 days since I have come to the forum. I have been VERY sick since July 9 with a BAD infection, and my fever has just broken last night. During that time, I was thinking of many of you that I have known since joining this forum on May 26, 2005. I also saw how many new people had posted since I was last here. I have read a few posts, but I am still very weak, and I am having a hard time replying to all of them. Hence the reason for this topic.
While I was in my feverish state, I was in such a "fog", that I couldn't even cry for my Cosmo, but this morning, the tears are returning. As well as the tears for the other posters on this forum.
I feel for ALL of you who have lost your beloved babies, and If I could find the comforting words to say right now, I would. Perhaps tomorrow, I will.
To Jenn, MumofSerge, Dixie's Mom, My Jack, BabyHannahsMom, QorquisDad, babygirl070405, blue jules, A&G, and anyone else that I have not yet mentioned, I am thinking of you and sending Peace and Love to you all. I hate to say it, but I know how you all feel, grief stricken and crippled over the death of you "furbabies".
As for me, I am approaching my 8 week mark after losing my Cosmo to kidney failure ( actually euthanasia) because of the failure. I know it does not offer much comfort, but I really feel the pain you are all in. I know how tough it is to start living again.
I am sorry that my recent illness has kept me from helping to support all of you who have recently lost your babies, or to those of you still grieving over your losses. The beautiful souls in this forum have literally helped to save me since I came, and I wish that I could help save you all now. Please know that as soon as I am up to it, I will begin to reply to all of those posts that I have cried to while I read them, and try to find the strength within myself for the words of comfort you all so desperately need.
I must go for now, because I am feeling so weak. I haven't eaten or slept much since Cosmo passed away, and the illness has not helped my appetite or sleep either. I hope today, I can get some decent food in me, and get some rest, then I will be refreshed enough to share your grief and mine.
You are all in my prayers today, and I pray for myself for tomorrow, to have the strength to reach out to all of you, personally. It breaks my heart that I cannot help now.
Love,
Michelle

Dear sweet Michelle,
Girl, you take care of YOU now. Do not worry about those here - that's whats so great about this community... we are free and safe to grieve openly and help when we can (and the 'when we can' is stressed!), and no one will think any less of you if you have to take a break! You most definitely need to just rest and not worry about us. Please, please take care of YOU... Sending up many prayers for your complete healing, emotional health, and general state of mind... Not gonna write anymore, get back to resting!!! lol
Love, hugs, and prayers in abundance to you girl!!!
~Jenn

Hi, Michelle -

Jenn absolutely summed up everything I am thinking. You have given SO much love and support and understanding, and now you need some 'YOU' time. The fact that you even got up and checked this board in such an ill and run-down state is just amazing, and really, really touched me. THANK YOU for your kind and lovely words about our fur-babies, and know that we are all thinking of you and your Cosmo...who is with you ALWAYS.
Please get well soon. Don't worry about all of us here: as Jenn said, the great thing about this board is the fact that we're all here...and can 'cover for each' if we need 'me-time'....and with a fever and feeling so horrible and still so battered by the loss of Cosmo....I think you qualify for some SERIOUS 'you time'!
Take care, sweetie, and get back to bed!
GET WELL SOON,
Lots of love,
Amanda ***x

This is a very draining time without being ill as well.

You will be in my prayers tonight i wish you a speedy recovery and lots of love.

Love Sue

This is why i come here... such beautiful, kind souls abound. Ones like you who are so willing to share your grief and love with us. Thats what makes this place so wonderful.


Please, take care of yourself Mosmommy. I wish you a speedy recovery from your illness... and you and cosmo are in my thoughts and prayers.


Much love to all here
Nyte

{{{{Michelle}}}}

I'm so sorry that you've been ill. You *have* to take care of yourself and it may be time to see a doctor. I havent read your story (I'll go try to find it now), so I'm not sure if you have an ongoing illness, but grief is different for everyone and I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful Cosmo.

Please, take care of yourself and thank you for the kind words...

Dawn (MyJack)

Hello to all of you who have read and answered my post. I did not feel as good yesterday as I thought I would, so I am checking in today.
The infection I had came out of nowhere, and I think it is the stress on my body of losing Cosmo, and all of the loss I have had since last May. Each loss can refresh old pain and memories of those we have lost before. I am usually quite resilient in fighting infection and illness, so it must be the heartbreaking stress of late. I did consult my physician, and I am going in for a check-up later this week, to make sure the infection is gone and to let the Doc know just how I've been feeling, and the toll it is taking on my system.
It was so kind of all of you to be so concerned for me during your time of extreme sorrow, and I am trying to take care of myself.
I just wanted to say thank you for your blessings.
I have a new loss of a furbaby (last night), and will be starting a new topic for that
This loss will be the fourth furbaby loss since May 22, 2004, and I also lost my Grandmother (the only one I ever knew) in February. It is all so hard, and I'm not sure of God's reasons for taking them home, except that he needs more angels
Each loss is making me weaker and weaker to handle it. I used to have severe depression, and other illnesses along with it, but had recovered in November of 2002, and have not needed medication for them since.( I fought so hard to get well). I think that it is just sadness right now, and not depression, but I may have to reach out for grief counseling. I certainly don't want to end up in that black hole of depression again
Well, I will go respond to some others and start my new topic of my new loss, as long as my strength holds out.
Peace, Love, and Prayers,
Michelle

Michelle
So sorry to hear about your illness and your suffering - I hope you'vehad a better day today. this is a lovely place to come and feel the support from everyone else around you. I havn't been here for a couple of weeks now as I'vehad to go away to work and haven't been near a computer. in a way this helped me as I was so busy I couldn't concentrate on my grief but had to keep going - however, since I came home on Sunday, its almost like the grief of losing my wee man Sgith, to a passing car, has hit me all over again from scratch and I cant stop crying, so i really truly understand how you feel. I feel so tired all the time and I dont have th strength to do any of the normal every day stuff, like catching up with bills, banking etc Michelle, I think of you and all you are in similar situations - we know we are not alone.
I dream about my hairy wee pal and wake up with tears running down my face - will this ever stop?
Fiona

Michelle,
Oh hon I am so so sorry you've had another loss.. I sent you that PM before I read this.. please, if you can, call me sometime this week, and if you can't, let me know and I WILL get a calling card and call you. You've had so much heartbreak and I agree it might be a good idea to reach out and get some help - and I envy your strength in admitting it, and doing it. I never could.
I have to run, I have a meeting at work - but please be in touch, ok? I'm here if you need me, and even if you don't - still here, still praying...
~Jenn