The vets office called one week to the day to tell us that they had Jack's ashes back and we could pick them up whenever we were ready. They said we didnt have to do it right away, he was safe and we could get them when we felt the time was right. From the time I got the message, I could *not* stop crying. Driving, running errands, making dinner...I felt sick to my stomach and just couldnt stop crying.

I decided I wanted, no...NEEDED him home with us. As hard as it was (and thank god no one was in the waiting room), I walked into the vets office crying *hystarically*...couldnt even talk and somehow managed to tell them I was there to pick up Jack. The gals in the office were so nice and told me they knew how much we loved him and how hard it is.

As soon as I got him home, I felt so much more at peace. It was weird, I was the happiest I've been in a week and I kept smiling looking at the box (as hard as it was knowing my beautiful Jack was in there). I felt like he was back with us.

The people at the crematorium (sp?) were incredible. We have a very pretty box with a gold-plate that says "Jack", a certificate saying we were the "Mom and Dad" of Jack, gave his date of birth/death, gave the date of the cremation. They even did a paw print in the shape of a heart in ceramic. I opened the box because I just had to see for myself. Inside the box was a beautiful silk rose on top of the ashes with a poem about how pets run free and are happy where they go.

I'm still so sad and miss him so much, but I really feel at peace knowing he's back home now.

dawn

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how 'final' getting their remains can make it. I didnt have to go pick Freeway's up, my parents did it for me while I was at work.. but it was so so hard to come home, tired, after 10 hours at work and see the box there. No one opened it, they saved it for me.... and inside was a beautiful blue urn and certificate of cremation. I too felt the same sense of peace once Freeway was home. I talk to him all the time, and put my finger in the little ceramic pawprint they sent us.. I tell him I miss him with my hand on the urn... it's a small peace, but in the sorrow of death we must take any and all peace we can get. I am glad you're finding peace in his remains being home. Thoughts and prayers are with you.

Dear Dawn,

First off I want to comment on what a handsome fellow Jack is! I love your avatar picture.

Reading about your experience of going in and picking up Jack's ashes reminded me of picking up Shiloh's ashes...I too fell apart in the vet's office. The day I got her ashes back, I was just stopping in to pay for Shiloh's euthanasia...I had no idea that her ashes were there because I stopped by the vet's office before I got home from work that day and didn't get the message that her ashes were in. When they handed me her urn, I completely lost it. For me getting her ashes was bitter sweet...I was glad to have Shiloh home, but like Jenn said, it maked her passing so final.

It sounds like the pet crematorium did a very nice job. I love that they did a paw print for you.
Hugs,
Kathleen

Dear Dawn,
I cannot tell you how much your post meant to me, because we are picking up Sergey's ashes on Monday (I think) and I have been absolutely terrified as to what I might feel. Yet your post - describing how 'at peace' you felt to have Jack's physical remains home with you - has given me SO much strength and courage. I thank you for that!
Secondly....I am so, so happy to hear that you have found a little peace. I know it is still INCREDIBLY hard for you, and of course, you'll have your ups and downs....but to know that, even for an instant, you found a sense of peace really made me happy.

I know how much you miss your Jack (and I have to agree...he was a VERY handsome fellow!), and I hope that, as the days pass, this sense of peace will become a more and more constant state.
Take care,
Lots of love,
Amanda ***

Dawn,

My heart goes out to you.

Yes, Jack is home---his ashes are with you, and so is his spirit. He is not far away. When it is your time to pass on, you'll be fully reunited. Until then, he's fine, and there is no doubt he knows how much you love him!

Kathy

{{{Kathy}}}

Thank you for the kind words. It's funny you said that we'll be together again. As Jack was slipping from me, I was wispering in his ear "wait for me, I'll be there later". I know I'll see him again.

Thank you!

Dawn

Oh Amanda....I hope it did help. For me, I kept thinking the worst part was going to have to pick "him" up. I wont lie, it was very difficult to walk into the vets office. In fact, I pulled into the parking spot, pulled out...pulled back in. Started to get out of the car, got back in...finally, I did it and was *so* glad I did.

I really do feel like Jack is back home with us where he belongs. It will be very hard to pick up your Serge, but take comfort knowing that he will be back where he belongs...with you.

I'll be thinking of you on Monday and hoping it's not too difficult for you!

Dawn

Kathleen:

Thanks for the nice words about Jack's photo. I have to say though, it's not a very good likeness of him. It was taken with a 33mm and I took a digital picture of it, then dowloaded it...so it's not the best. I'll have to find a better shot, I have tons to choose from

I guess vet's offices are pretty used to people loosing it in their offices, huh? Those are some pretty special people that work there, the staff at our office was amazing. I was doing the full-on "ugly-cry" (as Oprah puts it)...face all scrunched up, barely able to speak. I must of looked a mess, but the gals at the office were wonderful to me, just kept telling me to take my time.

You're right, it is so final...but our guys are where they belong...home with us and that makes me

Dawn

Jenn...you're so right. It is *very* final. The peace in knowing it's final for me though has been that he's here with me now. He may be in a different form, but he is here.

Arent the paw-prints wonderful? On the paw-print they did of Jack at the crematorium, there's little bits of his hair stuck in, pretty cool. The day Jack died, the vet cut off some of his hair for me to keep, I've made a scrapbook of Jack and am putting some of the hair in it. I still open the back and touch the hair...it's pretty comforting.

I'm so sorry for your loss, your beautiful Freeway had a wonderful, wonderful Mommy.

Dawn

I'm crying right now as I read your post and type this...I have to go get my dog Duke's ashes some day this week...we were just notified on Saturday that they are ready to be picked up. I am terrified and don't know how I should feel...but after reading about your experience realize that I have nothing to be scared of. Thank you.

--Angela

This is a dreadful, dreadful question on the subject of picking up ashes, but I'd really like to know the answer so as to be better prepared. How do they 'come'? We weren't given the option for an urn or anything like that, and I very much doubt that it'll be handled as sensitively and personally as in the case of Jack.
I know this is a horrible, horrible thing to ask.
It's just that I called the vet this morning to see if Serge's ashes were ready, and he said they weren't, and after I got off the phone I burst into tears. I realized that - like Angela - I am terrified and don't want to be 'surprised'.
I really am so sorry to ask such a dreadful question.
Lots of love,
Amanda ***

{{{Amanda}}}

This isnt a terrible question at *all*, it's something I'm sure we all wondered. Our vet spent quite a bit of time after Jack died and prepared us for what we'd receive back.

From what I understand, no..you're not given a choice (we werent). Jack came back in a beautiful cedar box with a nameplate on the front that says "Jack". His box is quite large because he was a very big dog (over 100 pds). The box has a lock on it with the keys attached. You can choose to look inside or not. I did, I had to see him for myself. Inside the box is a very thick plastic "bag" (for lack of a better word). Inside the clear bag is the ashes. On top of the bag, the crematorium had a beautiful silk red rose and a lable that says "Jack" and his born/died date.

They gave us a certificate and a Poem. Also, in a little bag was a plaster of paris heart shape with Jacks paw-print (some of his black hair was in the print, I liked that!). From what I understand, not all places do this, so dont be surprised if you dont get the paw-print.

I hope that helps. Feel free to ask anything you want...

Dawn

Hi, Dawn.
Wow.Thank you SO, SO MUCH for such a full a comprehensive answer. Again, you have totally reassurred me, and I am no longer scared of picking Serge up. In fact, I'm sort of looking forward to it, because it'll mean he's home with us...at least, in a 'physical' sense, because our fur-babies never leave us in a SPIRITUAL sense.
We don't know what we're going to do with his ashes. We don't hav a garden or anything (typical apartment dwellers), and so I think I'll hold onto them.
Anyway, Dawn, THANK YOU for being so wonderful and for telling me so completely what to expect: it can't have been easy for you to recount, so I doubly-appreciate it.

I'm glad your Jack is home with you.
Love and Hugs,
Amanda ***

Angela: First of all....I LOVE the picture of Duke! OMGooness, I cannot stop staring at those eyes. He truly has the eyes of a kind soul.

Please dont be frightened about picking him up. Honestly, the thought of picking Jack up was almost harder than anything, but I'm so, so glad I did it and didnt leave him at the vets office. The "thought" of picking him up was waaaay worse than the actual process of picking him up. Maybe you could call the vet and ask if there's a time of day where there wont be anyone in the waiting room...I know that helped me a lot to not have an "audience" watching me loose it.

Again, you *can* do this...Duke will be home with you and that's so important. The peace and healing can begin and you can cherish your loving memories together.

Dawn

Dawn,

Thank you, we have hundreds of pictures of the Dukerman (photography is a hobby of mine) and that picture breaks my heart. He had become so white on his face. We put together a complete photo album of Duke a few days ago and it really shows how he aged in the photos, from puppy to 11 years old. We didn't see it in our day-to-day, but the photos don't lie. His eyes are what I miss the most...he was so expressive and emotional. My baby boy.

My boyfriend picked up Duke's ashes yesterday from the vet's office and I was overcome with emotion when I saw them...I cried for quite a while. You are right, I feel much better now that he is home with us but the pain is still raw and I think seeing the ashes brought back a lot of sadness once again...a sort of "relapse" in a way. The box is bigger and heavier than I had imagined (he weighed 86 pounds when he was healthy). We have the box in our living room surrounded by his pictures and paw print. It is still hard for me to walk past it or look at it wihout tearing up, but it hasn't even been 24 hours since we've had the ashes here.

I'm glad to have the ashes but I would rather have my baby back.

--Angela

Dawn,

Thank you for sharing that. I am waiting for the call for when Odin's ashes, my cat, will be ready for me to bring home. Thinking about it is making my stomach churn right now. But I hope that like you I will at last have a sense of closure. I only had my baby for three years, but they were three years of joy and happiness that he gave me. I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world. I can still feel him in my arms, and see his beautiful big, gold eyes.
I miss him..... and I know he will be home soon.

Cynthia

Bless each and every one of you in this thread. And peace and comfort to you, too. I have a better picture of what I'll be doing some day in the probably not too distant future. I need to have my precious pooch in the house, not out in the yard somwhere; if I move, how could I keep her with me? I need to have her there when I walk in the door so I tell her I'm home.