I was reading all of the messages in hopes of finding some comfort at the loss of my cat Momma. Momma was with me for 16 years and was the sweetest strongest soul I have ever known. I was complelled to write after seeing Joy's cat Buddy he is absolutely Mr. Momma. It's been less than 48 hours and I am beside myself. I don't know what to say because It hurts so much. Momma used to sleep with my husband and I right between us. I would wake up and she would have her paw resting on my shoulder or face. She was with me longer than anyone else has been. I lost my biological mother at age 2. When Momma came to me ( my brother found her in our garage) my sophomore year in college, my roommates named her Momma after she had a litter of kitten. It didn't occur to me to many years later that she was in reality the unconditional love that I never got to have from my own mother. I am now 8 monthes pregnant expecting my first child and wonder if she was passing the role of mother on to me. My husband is very worried because I can't eat or sleep. She was the only soul I have ever loved that way. I can stand being without her. Her kidney's were failing and the vet recommended we let her go. She otherwise would have had to undergone intensive hospitalization and injections of fluids under her skin everday even if she did make it through. I logically know I made the right descision. But when they tried to inject her she wouldn't go they had to give her a second dose. It was the most painful experience I have ever had. I am at a loss.
Anne

Hi love,

I know this is especially difficult for you because your worried the effect it is having on your baby.

Grieving is a natural process and as long as you stay calm you are letting your baby know its ok to grieve over a lost loved one.

TAke some deep breaths and stop panicing, just go with the flow,.

i should imagine if your 8 months pregnant your not working so if you cant sleep at night have a kip during the day, there are no rules no guide lines just how you are feeling and what you need to do at this exact moment.

Many many tears will fall they will help you to heal and i also found they released old buried sadnessess too.

Look in the mirror every morning, look yourself in the eyes and say 'i love you, i can do this, i am doing this'

Momma gave you a prescious gift of love for you to pass onto your baby.

Oh Anne, I know just what you mean about the pain being unbearable. It is three years ago tomorrow (9th July) that my beloved Siamese Ammy was euthanized. He was 16, just like your Momma, and was suffering from kidney problems and other major organ shutdown. On his last day he couldn't walk, so I bundled him into the car, drove off and asked the vet to relieve him of his suffering. I went into autopilot, I did things so quickly. The vet was an awful, awful lo%% and seemed really insensitive. I know what you mean about the injection, Ammy struggled and seemed to be fighting it. It was utterly dreadful, I went home, shut the door and screamed "What have I done?"

I spent many hours agonizing, and you will too. It was a long time before I could talk about Ammy without breaking down. I felt guilty about ending his life, but when I asked him if I did the right thing he said "definitely". What we have done is to take away our pets' pain, and for a time we must bear it for them. It does feel unbearable at times, but it is the least we can do in return for their years of love and devotion to us.

It sounds like Ammy was very similar to Momma. Ammy would jump on the bed and claw at the duvet until I let him under the covers, and then he'd put his little head on the pillow. He was one of the greatest friends I ever had. When I was clinically depressed and on my own, Ammy was the only reason I got out of bed. He would speak to me until I got up and fed him. Otherwise I would never have got up. I still talk to Ammy and visit his grave. He is a wise old cat, just like Momma!

On Tuesday my beautiful Maine Coon boy was killed. It is a very different situation, but the pain is just as great. Shaun was only 2, so I feel that we were cheated. But I didn't decide to end his life, it was taken by a car. Once again, I am overwhelmed with grief.

We must all give ourselves time. If you read my other postings, you will see that I am struggling at the moment. I want this pain to go away, I want everything normal again. But everyone says that we must be patient, take our time, sleep and eat whenever we can.

My husband has been devastated by Shaun's death. I have known him for 15 years and I have never seen him in so much pain. But today he said that he looks forward to the time when we can think about Shaun, and smile and laugh. It's a long way off, but you will be able to do that with Momma too. How lucky we were to have such wonderful pets!

Hi,
I totally understand how you are feeling. I lost my Cosmo to the same cause on May 24, 2005. It's been just over 6 weeks, and I am still in agony over having to put him down for his kidney failure. I didn't eat for days either, and I still don't eat and sleep normally, the way I did before he was gone. BUT, you are with child, and NEED to take care of yourself. I ended up in the E/R nine days after his death because I did not care for myself, and the grief and anxiety caught up with me. With you being so close to term, you have to force yourself to focus on the NEW life about to join you, your Momma would want you to take care of yourself and your baby. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you through this horrible agony you are suffering, in the meantime, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Take care of yourself, you ARE Momma now.
Peace and Love,
Michelle

Anne-

I was 6 months pregnant when I lost my Zachary. I thought how cruel it was to lose him at such a time. I too was in bad bad shape. I actually admitted myself to the hospital...fearing the worst for my fate. I was certain the intense greif along with loss of food and sleep would have devasting effects on my baby. There was no way around it unfortunately, but so far I don't think it had adverse effects on my almost 4 yr. old son.

In retrospect I believe that Zachary's 'timing' was significant. The birth of my son became my reason for "going-on" if you will. But that last trimester w/o him or the baby was hard.

I "picked-up" Lucy a homeless dog (from the shelter) a week after he passed hoping that she would lend more 'meaning' to the whole horrible expierence (i too had to euthanize him) He suffered greatly the last 2 weeks of his life from seizuring. Getting Lucy helped some, she had a very calming effect on me (very laid back little dog) and that was good for me. I was worried that running out to get a new dog would look callous to some--but my logic was this:

I have to make his death have *purpose* or I feel like i will shrivel-up and die. If I offer my home (not my heart right-away) to a poor homeless animal...he will not have died in vain.
Lucy needed a home--Zachary's death was the avenue she was to travel to get her home no matter how it looked to others.

I of course didn't bond with her right away, but the 'responsibility' of having to care for her immeadiately allowed me to put one foot in front of the other just to get through the days. I bonded with her as time passed & I don't regret the decision.

Please see my other post "4 yrs. Gone" as I have made other suggestions about how to cope with the loss.

My deepest sympathy Anne. Remember Momma is not really that far...she has traveled inward and is embedded in your heart now. Touch your chest, close your eyes, you will feel her there at some point I promise.
Kathleen

I'm so sorry for your loss of Momma. Your story reminded me a little of my cat Dolly, who was given to me as a birthday present on my 18th birthday. I had Dolly for 16 years...she was with me through college, through my first job...she stood by my side and supported me through so very much. I remember when she passed away, I felt like I'd lost a part of my own life. I know the loss you're feeling now is extremely great. Again, I'm so sorry.

Hugs,
Kathleen

Annabelle...I think you lost Momma about the same time I lost Serge, so I am totally 'with you' in all you are feeling. I have nothing of any use to say (unlike the other posters, who have so much wonderful, wise and warm advice) but I just wanted to pipe up to say how very, very sorry I am for your loss. Serge, Momma and Shaun - who all died on the same day, I believe - are together somewhere.....
My thoughts are with you.
Love, Amanda x

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Hello,
I was glad to find this website, I too had my cat,Misu put to sleep 3 weeks. He was suffering also as he was 15 yrs with me. Didnt eat in final days and organs failed. The best cat I have had, so
relaxing to be with him because he was not a hyper cat.
Well, this morning as I was sleeping, the strangest thing happened. I felt him walking around my bed as I slept. Dont know if I was dreaming or not, but it felt so real. I feel it was his way of letting me know, "I'm okay."

Annabelle,

I am so sorry for your loss. I also have a cat that we call Momma Mort she is approaching her 17th birthday. She is starting into kidney failure. We were just given lessons to give home sub-q's to her, and eventually her kidneys will not support her anymore. Unfortunatly when our beloved felines approach old age, and they have beaten all odds, it is their little kidneys that give out on them. I lost a very special cat last december to cancer, and it still hurts. It would have been his 15th birthday this coming wednesday, July 13th. Momma Mort is his mother.

As I look at Mort and see her coat starting to lose it's lust, I can't help but think of Grizabella from the broadway play Cats.

I understand your loss and sadness all to well..

Thank you for everone's messages. I wasn't sure if this would help me or if I was being silly, but I didn't know what else to do. The pain is still horrible but you have helped me enormously. I send my sympathies to all of you. Thank you, Anne