Back in early May I found this place as an outlet of my grief over losing my horse, MayLady. I want to thank everyone who posted to my story, it really did help. But now I have another problem. I ride at a lesson barn, where my instructor owns about 40 horses. I have known most of these horses since i started riding at age 5, 12 years ago. Starting with my beloved MayLady 2 months ago, we have lost 6 more horses to what can be chalked up to be old age. There are at least 3-4 more that probably won't make it through the summer. The graveyard at the barn is not very large, so all the horses are basically buried in the same place. The thing is, everytime another horse dies, I feel as if I am losing MayLady all over again. To make matters worse, an azalea bush that was given to me when she died has eaten by bugs and died. I almost feel as if I am being punished for something. I am to the point that I don't have to hold back tears when i talk about her death, but it is still so hard. I just miss her so much.

Its way to early for you to be even thinking of not being upset, your still in the early stages of the grieving process and have a long way to go yet im afraid.

it took me the whole year and even now there are still times that i cant talk or just start crying again, but it passes and then i smile to myself at the memory and try and to let it go.

Just be patient with yourself and dont think that you should be anywhere in your grieving process but where you are right now, it just takes as long as it takes.

Love Sue

I am so sorry for the loss of Maylady and the others. I am sure you are not being punished for anything, although having lost several loved one's around the same time, I do know how you are feeling.

I am also sorry about your Azalea bush. I tried to plant a tree for Freyja and it died. I am terrible with plants, so should've known better than to try such a thing, but it still hurt --bc I had planted it in freyja's name...

But Sue is right -- a couple months is no way near enough time for most of us to get over this kind of loss. It just takes a lot of time (and often a lot of tears) to begin to heal.

Hi Maylady's mom,
This is sooooo hard. I lost Penni (my irishwolf hound cross) on March 4 2005. I still look for her. She was the dog that always went riding when I took one of my horses out. Sometimes, I can still see her shooting through the trees. There is no easy way to go through this. I know that it really helps me to talk about Penni. Will you tell me about Maylady?? Was she older. How long had you had her. Where did you like to ride her most. Was she quiet, fiesty?? My oldest horse is Domino--he is 26--he is 1/2 Arab and 1/2 Tennessee Walker. He is black and white like an Oreo cookie. He is my first horse. I now have 3 others.
Please know that I believe that we are all reminded of the loss of our beloved kids when certain things happen. Particularly since you spend time at a barn where it sounds like there is a geriatric population.
There are no words of wisdom to ease the pain. Please know that I am thinking about you and know that Maylady knows how much you loved her. I do believe that time will ease pain. However, I believe some of that pain will be replace with a few tears of remembering the great times you had with Maylady.
Thinking of you
Leona