Hello everyone. I just found this website when trying to make sense of my grief. This morning, we had to put our beloved Aussie Shephard, Maverick, to sleep. He was 12, and in those wonderful years he'd been attacked nearly to death, developed cataracts and diabetes. Our vet told us most dogs with diabetes don't live more than three years after prognosis, we were lucky enough to be blessed with Maverick for 6 after. this is more cathartic than anything, but i just keep going through the morning in my mind. He started having seizures late last night, then this morning they were severe. He didn't even really seem to be with us when he went, but my husband, baby and I were in the room and touching him, holding his head. I feel such a sense of loss, I'm overwhelmed. I've been in tears all day while my husband seems to be doing okay (he had Maverick for 5 years before he met me). Am I normal? I'm emotionally spent, and I feel bad for our other dog, a pit-dalmation-lab mix, Murphy, who seems kind of lost. ANy thoughts would be welcome.

Missing my baby and crying my eyes out.
Maverick's Mom

Maverick's Mom,

Firstly, what you are feeling is perfectly normal. Everyone has their own way of dealing with grief ... your husband has his and you have yours. I cried non-stop for weeks after I lost my Snoops ... I wouldn't eat, couldn't sleep, and couldn't concentrate on anything. The one thing I learned is that if you need to cry then cry ... holding it all in will only create other problems.

I am deeply sorry for you loss ... everyone on this board knows exactly how you are feeling so feel free to post whatever you like ... you will not be judged. Losing your pet's is like losing a family member ... mournnig their loss is as natural as breathing. A friend gave me this advice after I had to put my best friend to sleep ... when you feel yourself losing control and the crying gets really bad ... think of something Maverick did that made you laugh ... a memory that you share with him that you thought was really funny. Eventually, what you will find is that you will learn to smile ... it takes time but this advice helped me through the darkest days and it maybe it will help you through too. Remember, someday you will be able to think of him with a smile and the hurt won't be as bad but until then do what you need to do.

Hugs,
Beth

I would worry about you if you didn't feel ANYTHING - yes you are normal!!!!!!!

Grieving for a loved one - furry or not - is the same process. In the same way some humans are devastated by the loss of a family member and others seem to handle it easier - pets affect us all differently.

We are here because we share your depth of pain and loss. Although Maverick may not have seemed to know you were there, I have no doubt that he felt a sense of comfort and well being as he passed - in large part due to your presence.

I am so sorry for your loss - but in your grief you are showing that you possess a deep sense of compassion and humanity - something the world is sorely short of.

Dear Maverick's Mom

I'm very sorry for your loss. On Jan 8/04 I had to put my beautiful golden retriever, Megan, to sleep. She was only 5. I, too, was completely overwhelmed. I had a very brave face when I was around people but as soon as I was alone, I would just lose it. At first I was worried about my mental health, then I found this website. I also thought, to hell with what people think. Megan was a big part of my life and family and her loss was devastating to me. My husband was not as atttached to her as me so he handled things very differently but still tried to be there for me. When people started to tell me it was time to "get over" her, instead of being mad, I thought to myself, how sad are you to never have known the love of a pet.

My other dog, Molly, is still lost without Megan. I try to spend as much time with her as possible and let her know that although I'm very sad about the loss of Meg, I still love her too.

Someone on this site told me that the next few months will be hard, and they are. But it truly does get better. I followed Beth's advice (thanks Beth) and really tried to focus on memories of a healthy and happy Meg. It hurt at first but now I can talk about her without crying, look at pictures of her, and continue to love her and be grateful for what she brought into my life.

So let the tears come, they will eventaully dry up and be replaced by a smile when you think of Maverick.

Tracey

And don't be surprise if, now and then, the tears well up even long after you feel you have "gotten over" the loss. It's over a year and a half since I lost my two and still, every once in a while, the melancholy and loneliness overwhelm me for a few moments.

I have a wonderful spouse and new fur-baby whom I love "more than life itself" - but I still have a big hole in my heart that can't ever be filled.

But that's ok - it just means that someday when we are together again, they'll fit back into my life and soul as easy as pie.

To Maverick's Mom & Family:

I am deeply saddened to hear of your very recent loss. I feel very bad as I can feel your pain and I know that IT HURTS!! Although your heart is broken, I am glad that somehow, you and your aching heart have found your way to this WONDERFUL website. Perhaps, it was your beloved Maverick who led you to this site??....

Your feelings are extremely normal, and, as well, your husband is having his own feelings, in his own way. It is very normal to go through a "wide range of emotions", whether feelings are "outward"or "inward".

I do not know what I would have done if I did not find this site. Everyone here really KNOWS & UNDERSTANDS what you are going through. Please feel free to write at anytime and pour your broken heart out, even if you think it doesn't makes sense. I have to say that on this site, people do not judge, they listen, they respond, they talk about their "furbabies". After I read your post, I read your replies and really, the people in here have so much insight, wisdom, etc., etc., and, the "willingness to be there".

My boyfriend, Ben & I, had to put our little girl "Ernestine" to sleep on Saturday, February 7, 2004 at approximately noon. She was going to turn 20 in April. Someone on this site said to me, "We took on Ernie's pain by putting her to sleep so that she would be free of pain." And, that was true...

A real peaceful feeling comes over me now knowing that she is not hurting anymore now. She was a beautiful tortie calico; we just adored her. And, we miss her VERY MUCH!! Ben became her dad three years ago; he fell in love with her right away. They developed their own beautiful relationship. I never had any children, so really, my Ernestine was a daughter to me.. She was always there for me, and I, for her. We went through so much in 20 years. I have so many beautiful memories of our lives together.

I wish you & your family Peace & Love,
Denise & Ben

To everyone:
Thank you so much for your kind and supportive words. Today was better than yesterday, but as you all wisely suggested, it will obviously take awhile to fully grieve. I was struck by the little absences that you notice - him under my feet, him following me around the house (in his healthier days), dinnertime being so much different now that we don't have to monitor his food and give him his insulin injection. I can't thank everybody enough for your support, and I overwhelmed by your kindness. I'm so sorry that it is such heartbreaking cir%%stance that unite us all, but so thankful for our relative understanding.

I understand that guilt is an almost requisite part of grief for some, and given the suddenness of having to put him down, I wish so much that we could have given him a last meal send off (being diabetic, he never got table scraps or treats, only special food and an occasional carrot). I also wish Ihad more time to say the final goodbye, despite his last morning seeming to pass so slowly (seeing him in pain was excruciating).

Again, thank you so much to everyone, I am so touched by your thoughts, and send my thoughts and prayers to you in your times of sadness, grief and rememberance.

Maverick's Mom:

My cat, Saki, had diabetes before she died of liver cancer... I think in some ways that kind of illness makes it harder... well, not harder, but makes their absence more noticable. Because -- you are so USED TO those daily injections and such. Even if you just go out for the evening, you have to plan for those injections... and then *poof*, gone and you don't know what to do with yourself....

My sweet darling husband, as sweet and darling and sensitive as he is, still doesn't do well with crying... He's a good guy and he mourns their losses same as I do. Just can't cry about it. And when I cry, and I *STILL* do, I have a tendency to apologize, but he says "You cry for me..." Bc he CAN'T. He doesn't know how... so maybe it is the same with your husband...

I am very sorry for your loss of Maverick.

Love,
Jennifer

Dear Jennifer,
I am so sorry for you terrible loss of Maverick. It is such a hard thing to live through.

It has been since November 2003 since I put my beautiful Mittens to sleep. We put her to sleep on a Friday night and Saturday morning after my husband went to work i was alone and completely devastated. I went on the Web in search of someone, something to help me.....sorry... and I found this wonderful place. I don't think I could have made it without all these wonderful, understanding people here.

I am sorry a reply is long in coming, but it is hard to come back here for me. It is hard but then...i am having a hard time expressing this, but I hope everyone understands.....I start crying again when I come back. But also, my heart feels good when I see all the comfort and support everyone here gives to everyone else.

I don't cry so much now, Jennifer, it will get a bit better with time.

Take care.
Love, Janice