Am I going off my head? My darling wee hairy dog, Sgith died a week ago today after being hit by a car - and I wasn't there. He was with my mum, who's blaming herself no matter that I say dogs will be dogs and run across the road. Sgith was my faithful companion into whose fur I cried many times - he was my fourth baby - I have 3 children who are all also totally devastated. Sgith was a little dog with a huge personality and could never be 'just a dog' as someone said to me yesterday. He spoke to us, understood every word said to him and was spoiled rotten. Now I catch myself pretending hes sitting on the bed with me, speaking to him, trying hard to imagine hes there with me. I cant believe hes not here - can i turn the clock back - when do the tears stop? I cant stand the emptiness in the house - every advert on TV has dogs in it.
Please someone tell me it will get easier.
Full Version: Am I Going Crazy?
I'm so sorry for your loss of Sgith.
It will get easier, but it takes time. The important thing is to allow yourself to feel the pain and saddness of your loss. The tears that you cry now really are healing tears. You'll find in time, the wonderful memories you have of Sgith will bring you much comfort.
You're in my thoughts.
Kathleen
It will get easier, but it takes time. The important thing is to allow yourself to feel the pain and saddness of your loss. The tears that you cry now really are healing tears. You'll find in time, the wonderful memories you have of Sgith will bring you much comfort.
You're in my thoughts.
Kathleen
I felt the same way yesterday and last night. The quiet and emptiness in the house is too much to bear. I feel as though I've lost control...and since I couldn't help my Duke recover from the cancer I feel as though I failed him. It will be a week tomorrow since I lost my baby and I feel no better than I did right after we lost him.
--Angela
--Angela
I'm so sorry about Sgith. You've come to the right place for support. Yes, it will get better eventually, but give yourself time. It's been two weeks today that I had to have Sandy P put to sleep. This morning, I was able to look at her photo and tell her "good morning." I'm sorry that your mum blames herself, but we blame ourselves here too at times wondering did we put them to sleep too soon, or did I wait too long. You are right, dogs will be dogs, and you have to have eyes in the back of your head to keep an eye on them. Years ago when my dad was a kid (1930-1940's) he had a dog named Blackie. On the way to school, Blackie was on one side of the street and dad called him over. A car came by and killed Blackie. Dad said back then a car would come down the street once a week, if that. Dad has never forgotten that because he also blames himself. Come here and talk to us any time. If anyone else says 'he was just a dog" accept their lack of compassion as ignorance. If you can, stay clear of those people for a while until you fel stronger. We certainly don't feel that way. This site has been a life-line for me for the past two weeks, and I honestly think I would have completely lost it if not for the people here.
We are not human beings going through a temporary spiritual expereince. We are spiritual beings going through a temporary human experience.
Christine
We are not human beings going through a temporary spiritual expereince. We are spiritual beings going through a temporary human experience.
Christine
I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes,again, as I read all your replies. It really does help me to know i'm not the only person going through what has to be the worst stage of my life so far and that includes when my dad died 15 years ago. Should I feel guilty about that? My dad died suddenly but he'd been ill for many years and I hadn't lived with him for quite a long time. Thats not an excuse and of course, I rememebr grieving terribly for him but Sgith was with me every minute of the last 9 years and was always there for me when I felt bad. Sgith was my refuse from the world when it got bad, my hairy little beastie who thought he was a lion.
How do I help my 2 big teenage boys who are hurting terribly but not sure how to show it?
thank you all for your words - they really mean a lot to me.
Fiona
How do I help my 2 big teenage boys who are hurting terribly but not sure how to show it?
thank you all for your words - they really mean a lot to me.
Fiona
Fiona,
No, you should NOT feel guilty for whatever amount of grieve you attach to your beloved doggie's passing. It is not a requirement to feel x amount of grief for someone else, compared to your furchild. I just lost my Mother AND brother this past year, and I make no apologies for the fact that the passing of my furchild (a cat) 5 years ago was far and away a worse pain, a more intense pain, than that of my own Mother's passing. As you said, and just like me, you were in each other's life daily, sharing your most recent past together, and your dad wasn't. Even if he HAD been, you might still feel worse over your dog, and no one can say it's 'wrong' to feel more for him. Society will likely look askew at this, but that doesn't mean they're right. All it means is that those particular people haven't had the same kind of openness and relationship that you'd achieved with your doggie. Their loss, as far as I'm concerned. I hate that closed attitude myself, but all we can do is find others who know better (maybe when you feel better, you can read things from people like Albert Schweitzer from YEARS ago - HE knew how precious animals were!) If it helps you realized the intensity some of us experience, I grieved heavily for 2.5 years before I could even start the slow climb back into feeling somewhat normal. This may be longer than for some, but I considered it a mark of the depth of my cat's and my relationship. Even my Mother once said no one should feel sad THAT long for a CAT! I told her in return that NO ONE speaks to me that way about him, wouldn' t talk to her for a couple of weeks (til I could cool down some) and she then accepted that that's how I was going to feel, regardless of her opinion. She never bothered me again about it. Don't forget, our furbabies very often have given us exactly the things other humans WOULDN'T or COULDN'T give us that we needed....so why shouldn't we honour them with our tears? If they HAD been human, no one would chide you for feeling lost without them.
You might try, for your boys, getting out some pic's and sentimental items from Sgith's life with you and see if anyone wants to talk about his ways, etc. You might even tell them you'd like some company in your misery. There are also many books out there that have sections dealing with talking to children and teens about these things - it's no different than talking to them about the death of anyone else in your lives. Just try opening up a dialogue with them that lets them know it's okay to talk about it, okay to feel whatever they're feeling. Don't hide your pain - if YOU think it's appropriate, you will be teaching THEM it's appropriate, without any shame attached to it. Teach by example. However, eveyone grieves differently, so you must allow them their own way, even if it doesn't match yours. We at this site are here for you if you can't share in the same way with those physically close to you. You poor dear, we all know how horrible it is. I can still cry at the drop of a hat at times, when I remember something touching about my boy. It gets easier, but give yourself plenty of time, and keep talking about it if that helps you.
No, you should NOT feel guilty for whatever amount of grieve you attach to your beloved doggie's passing. It is not a requirement to feel x amount of grief for someone else, compared to your furchild. I just lost my Mother AND brother this past year, and I make no apologies for the fact that the passing of my furchild (a cat) 5 years ago was far and away a worse pain, a more intense pain, than that of my own Mother's passing. As you said, and just like me, you were in each other's life daily, sharing your most recent past together, and your dad wasn't. Even if he HAD been, you might still feel worse over your dog, and no one can say it's 'wrong' to feel more for him. Society will likely look askew at this, but that doesn't mean they're right. All it means is that those particular people haven't had the same kind of openness and relationship that you'd achieved with your doggie. Their loss, as far as I'm concerned. I hate that closed attitude myself, but all we can do is find others who know better (maybe when you feel better, you can read things from people like Albert Schweitzer from YEARS ago - HE knew how precious animals were!) If it helps you realized the intensity some of us experience, I grieved heavily for 2.5 years before I could even start the slow climb back into feeling somewhat normal. This may be longer than for some, but I considered it a mark of the depth of my cat's and my relationship. Even my Mother once said no one should feel sad THAT long for a CAT! I told her in return that NO ONE speaks to me that way about him, wouldn' t talk to her for a couple of weeks (til I could cool down some) and she then accepted that that's how I was going to feel, regardless of her opinion. She never bothered me again about it. Don't forget, our furbabies very often have given us exactly the things other humans WOULDN'T or COULDN'T give us that we needed....so why shouldn't we honour them with our tears? If they HAD been human, no one would chide you for feeling lost without them.
You might try, for your boys, getting out some pic's and sentimental items from Sgith's life with you and see if anyone wants to talk about his ways, etc. You might even tell them you'd like some company in your misery. There are also many books out there that have sections dealing with talking to children and teens about these things - it's no different than talking to them about the death of anyone else in your lives. Just try opening up a dialogue with them that lets them know it's okay to talk about it, okay to feel whatever they're feeling. Don't hide your pain - if YOU think it's appropriate, you will be teaching THEM it's appropriate, without any shame attached to it. Teach by example. However, eveyone grieves differently, so you must allow them their own way, even if it doesn't match yours. We at this site are here for you if you can't share in the same way with those physically close to you. You poor dear, we all know how horrible it is. I can still cry at the drop of a hat at times, when I remember something touching about my boy. It gets easier, but give yourself plenty of time, and keep talking about it if that helps you.
Furkidlet's mom
Thank you so much - I need to read your post again and absorb it all properly. If we learn one thing from all this pain it is that we need to appreciate what we have while we have itand make the most of it. I'm so sorry you've struggled for so long with your loss but do we emerge stronger at the end of it all? Notthat it willever end - I'll never forget my wee man and what he meant to us all - it realy does feel to me as if I've lost a child and how totally bereft I feel. I'll do the things yousuggest to help the boys - we have lots of photos and videos to look at , painful as it will be. My daughter is away at University and doesn't het home till this weekend and she's been feeling terribly lonely and upset, not being able to get home. she'll find it very hard when she does get home and in a away it will bring it all back again.
I already find that speaking here is good for me, I feel as if I'm allowed to talk about it and not feel as if I'm upsetting everyone else. I willbe here many times i the next few days I'm sure - and I kind of feel as if Sgith is sitting here beside me, trying to jump onto my knee as he always does when I'm at the computer.
Fiona
Thank you so much - I need to read your post again and absorb it all properly. If we learn one thing from all this pain it is that we need to appreciate what we have while we have itand make the most of it. I'm so sorry you've struggled for so long with your loss but do we emerge stronger at the end of it all? Notthat it willever end - I'll never forget my wee man and what he meant to us all - it realy does feel to me as if I've lost a child and how totally bereft I feel. I'll do the things yousuggest to help the boys - we have lots of photos and videos to look at , painful as it will be. My daughter is away at University and doesn't het home till this weekend and she's been feeling terribly lonely and upset, not being able to get home. she'll find it very hard when she does get home and in a away it will bring it all back again.
I already find that speaking here is good for me, I feel as if I'm allowed to talk about it and not feel as if I'm upsetting everyone else. I willbe here many times i the next few days I'm sure - and I kind of feel as if Sgith is sitting here beside me, trying to jump onto my knee as he always does when I'm at the computer.
Fiona
Fiona,
You're right, it doesn't ever really end, but you'll find some relief from the intensity after awhile. Of COURSE we don't ever 'forget' our loved ones...how could we? (not unless we get Alzheimers!) Maybe having your daughter there will actually help you two females (I don't mean to suggest males don't grieve as hard, but many of them DO have different ways of expressing it than females do, it's just a gender thing sometimes) get more healing tears out together. You gotta cry if you gotta cry...it's that simple. I couldn't even leave the house for the first month or so ( I was lucky I had this option) because everything set me off so intensly...but I gave myself permission to feel as bad as I did, and THAT helped me a lot. If you're not ready yourself for looking at picture, then just don't. You have to set your OWN rules, change them when YOU want, for yourself. It was just a suggestion. Be THAT good to yourself because your heart is raw and Sgith wouldn't have wanted you to do anything you didn't want to do. (yes, I know, this probably set you off again....that's okay...cry if you need to) By the way, since I AM a believer in a continuing existence (even if I don't know how exactly it all works), I think Sgith IS sitting there with you, whether you can physically feel him or not. If you do happen to have any experiences of his presence, TRUST IN THEM. I had quite a few, some physical, some auditory, some with electronic equipment, that I KNOW were signs from my boy. His sister and I even shared some together, so no one can tell me they were just in my head. Most of them happened within the first 2 wks. of his crossing....or, if the term helps you, his "graduation", as someone I know always calls it. I just call it "returning to spirit", as I believe that's the closest phrase for my beliefs. It helps to remind me he is still alive on some plane, even if I can't see him. But he came back to show me I could still FEEL him, on a few levels, including the physical that first week. If you don't get any signs, don't feel bad. There seem to be many reasons this may not occur, or not occur until long afterwards. It's often very variable for each of us. You might even try asking him if he's around, and then just stay as aware of everything as you can....I know it's harder to do when you're JUST IN SO MUCH PAIN, but it may help anyway. There isn't much you can't say on these boards that someone hasn't heard before, and even if it's a first, we all need to learn things from others, so yak and vent away. And buy lots of Kleenex.
You're right, it doesn't ever really end, but you'll find some relief from the intensity after awhile. Of COURSE we don't ever 'forget' our loved ones...how could we? (not unless we get Alzheimers!) Maybe having your daughter there will actually help you two females (I don't mean to suggest males don't grieve as hard, but many of them DO have different ways of expressing it than females do, it's just a gender thing sometimes) get more healing tears out together. You gotta cry if you gotta cry...it's that simple. I couldn't even leave the house for the first month or so ( I was lucky I had this option) because everything set me off so intensly...but I gave myself permission to feel as bad as I did, and THAT helped me a lot. If you're not ready yourself for looking at picture, then just don't. You have to set your OWN rules, change them when YOU want, for yourself. It was just a suggestion. Be THAT good to yourself because your heart is raw and Sgith wouldn't have wanted you to do anything you didn't want to do. (yes, I know, this probably set you off again....that's okay...cry if you need to) By the way, since I AM a believer in a continuing existence (even if I don't know how exactly it all works), I think Sgith IS sitting there with you, whether you can physically feel him or not. If you do happen to have any experiences of his presence, TRUST IN THEM. I had quite a few, some physical, some auditory, some with electronic equipment, that I KNOW were signs from my boy. His sister and I even shared some together, so no one can tell me they were just in my head. Most of them happened within the first 2 wks. of his crossing....or, if the term helps you, his "graduation", as someone I know always calls it. I just call it "returning to spirit", as I believe that's the closest phrase for my beliefs. It helps to remind me he is still alive on some plane, even if I can't see him. But he came back to show me I could still FEEL him, on a few levels, including the physical that first week. If you don't get any signs, don't feel bad. There seem to be many reasons this may not occur, or not occur until long afterwards. It's often very variable for each of us. You might even try asking him if he's around, and then just stay as aware of everything as you can....I know it's harder to do when you're JUST IN SO MUCH PAIN, but it may help anyway. There isn't much you can't say on these boards that someone hasn't heard before, and even if it's a first, we all need to learn things from others, so yak and vent away. And buy lots of Kleenex.
I don't think you are going Crazy at all, It is normal to miss a pet so much, I burst into tears randomly at the drop of a hat, sometimes I don't even wait for the hat.I am still in the shock stage. Don't let anyone tell you that you are going crazy for doing this. It is normal to miss your dog and want them to be there. Grief hits everyone in different ways.I am still waiting on a Sign from my Angel Herbie, to let me know he is ok and until I get that I will probably cry at the mere memory of him.
I hope everything turns out ok, and just know that he is no longer suffering or in any pain.
sincerely,
Tori
I hope everything turns out ok, and just know that he is no longer suffering or in any pain.
sincerely,
Tori
I am so sorry for your loss. I think that grief is grief. It feels like grief whether it is a person or a beloved pet. Our animals love us and provide us with so much. We do a disservice to them if we belittle our own pain when they pass away. There are a lot of people who don't "get it", but they have never felt the joy of having a furry companion curl up with us on a wet day. You don't need to justify your feelings to them because your feelings are yours and, as anyone on this board can tell you, your feelings are normal and legitimate.
Please accept my condolences for the loss of your beloved Sgith (what does the name mean, by the way?).
Please accept my condolences for the loss of your beloved Sgith (what does the name mean, by the way?).
Sgith ( pronounced 'skee' )is the Scottish Gaelic word for 'tired' or 'sleepy' - when we first had him as a puppy, he just slept all the time. That didn't last long!
You're all very kind here - I'm so glad I found youall. I wish for youall too, peace.
Ineed to go and try and sleep now - grief is exhausting - but first I am away out to light the night candle for Sgith - for once, in Scotland, we have some very calm weather , very unusual, and hopefully it will stay alight allnight.
More tears to come Iknow but youall really do help -moran taing ( thank you)
Fiona
You're all very kind here - I'm so glad I found youall. I wish for youall too, peace.
Ineed to go and try and sleep now - grief is exhausting - but first I am away out to light the night candle for Sgith - for once, in Scotland, we have some very calm weather , very unusual, and hopefully it will stay alight allnight.
More tears to come Iknow but youall really do help -moran taing ( thank you)
Fiona
I went out to say goodnight to Sgith last night and had a really good chat with him, through the tears. I told him about the wonderful contributuion he made to our family life and how he'll always be a part of it. I relasied taht apart from myself, my husband and my mum, Sgith was the person who will ahve had the biggest impact on the lives of my children. He taught them about love and respect , and responsibility and was my fourth child. He will be one of the most important memories of their childhood - for myself and Donald, if we get another dog, we will come to love it as much, I am sure, but for the children , Sgith will always have been THEIR companion - they'll be leaving home soon and wont be with another doggy so much.
For all of you going through what I'm going through, lets talk together and support one another - I'm learning a lot from reading all your replies and they will help.
I really do want to believe that my baby can let me know hes ok and being happy - as long as hes not missing me as much as I miss him. Can somebody tell me that they dont feel the pain like we do? I just want him back.
For all of you going through what I'm going through, lets talk together and support one another - I'm learning a lot from reading all your replies and they will help.
I really do want to believe that my baby can let me know hes ok and being happy - as long as hes not missing me as much as I miss him. Can somebody tell me that they dont feel the pain like we do? I just want him back.
Dear Fiona,
From what I've heard, no, they don't miss us the way we miss them, because they're supposedly on a plane where THEY can see US if they want to....our vibrations are just too dense for us to be aware of these other planes of existence. That is why we have to 'work' in various ways to raise our vibrations enough to effect decent communication with them. By decent, I mean so WE can hear THEM. Sometimes, when you're in the right state (for yourself - it can be very individual), you can be aware of messages from them. There's a great site that's discussing just these things right now (Beyond Indigo - in the ADC's, Dreams and Visions forum) where someone there has had access to one of these planes since she was born...if you want to learn more. Mediums always say that they do hear us when we're talking to them (people AND animals) after they've 'graduated', so go right ahead with that. There is also a wonderful book about these experiences called "The Soul Of Your Pet - Evidence for the Survival of Animals After Death" by Scott S. Smith, although it may be out of print now so you might have to find it 'used'. I was desperate for this book after my guy crossed and it helped me believe. There's also a fairly good section on animals in James Van Praagh's (a famous medium) book, "Healing Grief" that also supports this kind of thing.
I know the feeling of "I just want him back!" and how it's so all-consuming in the first while (for me, of course, for the first YEAR at LEAST!!). There were countless days I would look out our upstairs window, longing until I felt totally drained, to see my Bud/Boo-Boo/Sabin (nicknames/real name) come "Woo-woo"ing up the little gully across from us after a jaunt to find mousies in the tall grasses. Even now, 5 years later, I can barely stand to look there for too long. I SO wished I could, just once, see his spirit form (like physical, but maybe see-through) do that, just so I'd know without ANY doubts that this plane existed. But instead he gave me other signs, and still does, but less frequently now...maybe because I don't really need it quite as much...although I do WANT it just as much! The worst part is I know I'll go through pretty much exactly the same, horrible thing whenever his sister crosses (she's 18 now;he was only 13 - cancer; she's got kidney disease and other things) and even the memory of the anguish terrifies me. It was the worst pain I've ever experienced, so my heart bleeds for you, and everyone else who loves their companions that much.
(That's pretty neat, you being from Scotland. We could all use some tutelage in Gaelic pronunciation! How do you pronounce "moran taing"?)
From what I've heard, no, they don't miss us the way we miss them, because they're supposedly on a plane where THEY can see US if they want to....our vibrations are just too dense for us to be aware of these other planes of existence. That is why we have to 'work' in various ways to raise our vibrations enough to effect decent communication with them. By decent, I mean so WE can hear THEM. Sometimes, when you're in the right state (for yourself - it can be very individual), you can be aware of messages from them. There's a great site that's discussing just these things right now (Beyond Indigo - in the ADC's, Dreams and Visions forum) where someone there has had access to one of these planes since she was born...if you want to learn more. Mediums always say that they do hear us when we're talking to them (people AND animals) after they've 'graduated', so go right ahead with that. There is also a wonderful book about these experiences called "The Soul Of Your Pet - Evidence for the Survival of Animals After Death" by Scott S. Smith, although it may be out of print now so you might have to find it 'used'. I was desperate for this book after my guy crossed and it helped me believe. There's also a fairly good section on animals in James Van Praagh's (a famous medium) book, "Healing Grief" that also supports this kind of thing.
I know the feeling of "I just want him back!" and how it's so all-consuming in the first while (for me, of course, for the first YEAR at LEAST!!). There were countless days I would look out our upstairs window, longing until I felt totally drained, to see my Bud/Boo-Boo/Sabin (nicknames/real name) come "Woo-woo"ing up the little gully across from us after a jaunt to find mousies in the tall grasses. Even now, 5 years later, I can barely stand to look there for too long. I SO wished I could, just once, see his spirit form (like physical, but maybe see-through) do that, just so I'd know without ANY doubts that this plane existed. But instead he gave me other signs, and still does, but less frequently now...maybe because I don't really need it quite as much...although I do WANT it just as much! The worst part is I know I'll go through pretty much exactly the same, horrible thing whenever his sister crosses (she's 18 now;he was only 13 - cancer; she's got kidney disease and other things) and even the memory of the anguish terrifies me. It was the worst pain I've ever experienced, so my heart bleeds for you, and everyone else who loves their companions that much.
(That's pretty neat, you being from Scotland. We could all use some tutelage in Gaelic pronunciation! How do you pronounce "moran taing"?)
Dear Fiona, I have been waiting for my Sandy P to come to me in a dream, and she visited my husband instead! I was busy dreaming stupid things like my car overheating on the way home and my cell phone not working--you know the usual stuff we dream about. I was telling my husband (Jack) about the dream the following morning, and he told me he had dreamt about Sandy P. I demanded the details. He said someone came to the front door and was carrying Sandy P in his arms, just like I used to. He told Jack that he was bringing Sandy P back. Jack explained to the man that there must be some mistake, that Sandy P wasn't here any more. Jack took Sandy P from the man but was afraid that I would "freak out" when I saw her. Instead, I just accepted that she was here just like she'd never gone. I have similar dreams about my mum who died 11 years ago. In the dream, I go over to my dad's house and Mum is there. I know in my heart that she is gone, but accept the fact that she is back with us again. I think Sandy P came to visit Jack because I have to take sleeping pills to get any rest. I'm ashamed to say that sometimes I drink a little bit too much just lately, so it's possible that Sandy P knew she wasn't getting through to me. I've tried going without, but just lie there awake at night. I still feel like she's here though, and speak to her often. Spirits are just like radio signals. If your radio isn't turned on, you don't hear it even though the waves are passing through you all the time. We need to learn to turn our minds on to the spirits that are talking to us. I'm sure Sgith is with you now. He knows it's much easier for him to communicate with you than you with him. Just keep talking with him out loud, and he'll hear you.
By the way, my husband is a skeptic. I haven't told him about my dreams about my Mum. That's what makes me believe it is real.
Love,
Christine
By the way, my husband is a skeptic. I haven't told him about my dreams about my Mum. That's what makes me believe it is real.
Love,
Christine
Furkidlets mom
Moran taing is pronounced " moe ( as in toe) - run tang"
My poor wee son s had a hard day today - crying over Sgith again in the garden - hs finding it difficult o express himself. I'm trying all the things you're suggesting and hopefully something will help - my elder son is writing a pipe tune.
I keep thinking I'm a bit better then I think about the awful day and I get an ice block inthe pit of my stomach and my legs go all funny. How can I get these horrible images out of my mind and replace them withhappy memories? I've been dreaming of him too, like you and Sandy P . Christine. Hes wagging his tail at me furiously and giving me a face wash - that all seems just like yesterday and I cant believe my life has changed so dramatically in a week. I need to read upon the different planes aspects of it all. I was speaking toa freind today who is wrting a dissertationonthe natural harmonic structures in music and teh liason they have with the natural world. All very complicated but she has discovered that if she tunes her fiddle to Pythagoras tuning instead of the 'normal' modern tuning - her fiddle becoems completely in tune with the birds outside and brought her a n immediate sense of inner strength and peace. I feel that this is what I need to find somewhere - get in balance with something so I can let anything else in, any vibrations or signs.
Time to go and say good night - sleep sound everybody and sweet dreams. caidil gu math.
Fiona
Moran taing is pronounced " moe ( as in toe) - run tang"
My poor wee son s had a hard day today - crying over Sgith again in the garden - hs finding it difficult o express himself. I'm trying all the things you're suggesting and hopefully something will help - my elder son is writing a pipe tune.
I keep thinking I'm a bit better then I think about the awful day and I get an ice block inthe pit of my stomach and my legs go all funny. How can I get these horrible images out of my mind and replace them withhappy memories? I've been dreaming of him too, like you and Sandy P . Christine. Hes wagging his tail at me furiously and giving me a face wash - that all seems just like yesterday and I cant believe my life has changed so dramatically in a week. I need to read upon the different planes aspects of it all. I was speaking toa freind today who is wrting a dissertationonthe natural harmonic structures in music and teh liason they have with the natural world. All very complicated but she has discovered that if she tunes her fiddle to Pythagoras tuning instead of the 'normal' modern tuning - her fiddle becoems completely in tune with the birds outside and brought her a n immediate sense of inner strength and peace. I feel that this is what I need to find somewhere - get in balance with something so I can let anything else in, any vibrations or signs.
Time to go and say good night - sleep sound everybody and sweet dreams. caidil gu math.
Fiona
Dear Fiona, Your grief is still so fresh, there are no words I can say that will comfort you. Sgith is will come and visit you soon. Time on the next plane is much quicker than here, so what seems like days to you is just seconds to Sgith. He's just now getting settled in. I think I got a message from Sandy P today. I have been thinking about getting a personalized license plate (number plate) with Sandy P's name on it for my car next month when I have to reregister it. On the way to work today, I saw a personalized license plate that said Old Dog. I have used Sandy P as a password before on the computer, and the message that prompts me to remember it is "old dog." Then I got a fortune cookie today that said "What you seek is closer than you think." I travel the same road to work every day, and I've never seen that truck before. Have you read the post titled "All is well."? I think you will find that comforting.
Love,
Christine
Love,
Christine
THank you Christine, yes I read the post and you're right, its very comforting.
Sounds to me like you're right in thinking you've got those signs - maybe when our grief is so fresh, we block it all out and negative feelings wont let anything else though.
Its a wet and warm day here today - Sgith loved the rain and would sit out in it, watching for cats coming out to find shelter in the shed! I dreamt of him last night and really dreamt that he spoke to me - or rather I had a feeling that he was telling me something but without speaking - he said that hes ok, but his teeth were sore and his legs a bit achy - do they not become whole again when they go to a differnt place? Is that just my fears surfacing, that hes still in pain somewhere?
Love and warm hugs to you all
Fiona
Sounds to me like you're right in thinking you've got those signs - maybe when our grief is so fresh, we block it all out and negative feelings wont let anything else though.
Its a wet and warm day here today - Sgith loved the rain and would sit out in it, watching for cats coming out to find shelter in the shed! I dreamt of him last night and really dreamt that he spoke to me - or rather I had a feeling that he was telling me something but without speaking - he said that hes ok, but his teeth were sore and his legs a bit achy - do they not become whole again when they go to a differnt place? Is that just my fears surfacing, that hes still in pain somewhere?
Love and warm hugs to you all
Fiona
Hi Fiona, I don't think it's possible that we or our furry friends feel pain because we leave all that behind in our bodies. That may be how he appeared to you because he knew you would recognize him. I sent a donation to my local humane society after Sandy P passed on, so her life will be honored by helping those poor animals in need. It is just a small comfort, because I would give up everything to have her back. I miss her most at night when she's not in her usual spot in the bedroom. I always had to step over her when I got up at night. Sandy P was such a high-spirited, assertive, and fearless dog. She was the boss in our house, and I'm sure she's just the same now. It's rainy over here also. Sgith is with you in spirit and always will be. Sometimes I worry that my grieving is holding Sandy P back from where she needs to go, but I can't help it. I try to keep my mind occupied all the time, but those sad waves of despair just come barging in without any warning. I've planted her a little garden where she is buried. We put her next to Edo who was a rottweiler and her friend. If he was in the way, she just used to walk right underneath him! I think my happy memories are slowly taking over the sad thoughts of her last few days. I've got lots of photos and images in my head (they are movies in my head--thank God for memories). I'm glad you liked the "All is Well" post. I'll be thinking of you and everyone else who is grieving the loss of their furry (feathered, or scaley) friends.
Love,
Christine
Love,
Christine
Hi Fiona, I don't think it's possible that we or our furry friends feel pain because we leave all that behind in our bodies. That may be how he appeared to you because he knew you would recognize him. I sent a donation to my local humane society after Sandy P passed on, so her life will be honored by helping those poor animals in need. It is just a small comfort, because I would give up everything to have her back. I miss her most at night when she's not in her usual spot in the bedroom. I always had to step over her when I got up at night. Sandy P was such a high-spirited, assertive, and fearless dog. She was the boss in our house, and I'm sure she's just the same now. It's rainy over here also. Sgith is with you in spirit and always will be. Sometimes I worry that my grieving is holding Sandy P back from where she needs to go, but I can't help it. I try to keep my mind occupied all the time, but those sad waves of despair just come barging in without any warning. I've planted her a little garden where she is buried. We put her next to Edo who was a rottweiler and her friend. If he was in the way, she just used to walk right underneath him! I think my happy memories are slowly taking over the sad thoughts of her last few days. I've got lots of photos and images in my head (they are movies in my head--thank God for memories). I'm glad you liked the "All is Well" post. I'll be thinking of you and everyone else who is grieving the loss of their furry (feathered, or scaley) friends.
Love,
Christine
Love,
Christine
Furkidlet's Mom
Thanks for your wisdom and kindness. I lost my beloved cat Buddy 3 weeks ago and the pain has only become worse because I miss him more every day that he has not been here with me. I do not have any other children and Buddy has been my child since 1989. He has been there to take care of me through my divorce, and every other one of my challenges. In 1995 he broke his leg and since then he has been the focus of my life because the thought that I could have lost him was more than I could bear. In 2000 he was diagnosed with diabetes becoming the most important part of each day. I am not married and never felt lonely because each day when I came home he would climb my leg to be picked up and hugged - sometimes he would just like to be carried around. We would sit together and he would listen to whatever I had to say as long as there was a chin scratch involved. At 8 AM and PM he could come to me no matter where I was for his insulin shot .
Every night he would come and get me to go to bed at 10:30 and at 7:30 in the morning he would wake me up by lying on my chest. He was everything to me and now the pain of loosing him to Kidney failure becomes worse each day. In the last 5 months I tried to make him comfortable and cried every day at the thought that I would have to make a choice sooner or later to let him go. It was the worst day of my life and the guilt I feel for not knowing if he was ready to go and for not knowing right away that he was sick. His last gift to me was to let me grieve for him more than worrying for myself because I was hospitalized in March for having had epileptic seizures (never ever before) - soon after Buddy was diagnosed with Kidney failure. I haven't had time to worry about myself because I had to care for Buddy. I can only hope that when we die we can be reunited with our pets who give us their unconditional love avery day.
I have read so many the messages here and they have helped me realize that there are other people who feel as I have for the loss of Buddy.
Thanks for your wisdom and kindness. I lost my beloved cat Buddy 3 weeks ago and the pain has only become worse because I miss him more every day that he has not been here with me. I do not have any other children and Buddy has been my child since 1989. He has been there to take care of me through my divorce, and every other one of my challenges. In 1995 he broke his leg and since then he has been the focus of my life because the thought that I could have lost him was more than I could bear. In 2000 he was diagnosed with diabetes becoming the most important part of each day. I am not married and never felt lonely because each day when I came home he would climb my leg to be picked up and hugged - sometimes he would just like to be carried around. We would sit together and he would listen to whatever I had to say as long as there was a chin scratch involved. At 8 AM and PM he could come to me no matter where I was for his insulin shot .
Every night he would come and get me to go to bed at 10:30 and at 7:30 in the morning he would wake me up by lying on my chest. He was everything to me and now the pain of loosing him to Kidney failure becomes worse each day. In the last 5 months I tried to make him comfortable and cried every day at the thought that I would have to make a choice sooner or later to let him go. It was the worst day of my life and the guilt I feel for not knowing if he was ready to go and for not knowing right away that he was sick. His last gift to me was to let me grieve for him more than worrying for myself because I was hospitalized in March for having had epileptic seizures (never ever before) - soon after Buddy was diagnosed with Kidney failure. I haven't had time to worry about myself because I had to care for Buddy. I can only hope that when we die we can be reunited with our pets who give us their unconditional love avery day.
I have read so many the messages here and they have helped me realize that there are other people who feel as I have for the loss of Buddy.
Dear Joy,
I'm very glad anything I had to say helped you out somewhat. Even when we've 'been there', it's often hard to know what someone might need, because nothing really takes the anguish away. I'm so sorry you just lost your sweet Buddy and had to go through all the anticipatory grief that comes with disease. I sure know how THAT feels, too. By the way, what a beautiful picture of him! He just LOOKS like he has an old soul full of wisdom, and from what you wrote about your/his routines, it certainly sounds like it, too. He knew what he needed and helped make it easier for you to accomplish - that's quite a blessing.
My Nissa (Sabin's sister) has had kidney disease ever since her brother transitioned and yah, it's an emotional battle and yet without her to comfort me after Sabin's passing, I don't think I would have made it, as this was my first large loss since my 2 budgies passed when I was a little girl, then a teener. Nissa has been through, with me, the move away from my family/home city, Sabin's medical problems and passing, and the loss of both my Mother and eldest brother last year. I can't even imagine life without her by my side. She started kissing me on the lips right after she was spayed as a kidlet, but REALLY stepped it up the very day Sabin passed and we're counting to a MILLION. How could I not love her to pieces?! I think about that horrible choice I'll probably have to make with her and shrink from it inside my heart. I went through it with Sabin, but unfortunately didn't know enough, didn't get any advice from our vet ( though she knew the details of his symptoms day by day ) and SHOULD have helped him, but didn't. It's awful, having to 'play God' and wondering forever if you made the right choice. From what I've heard, though, no matter which choice we make, most seem to suffer guilt and all I can say is that at least it's a measure of how much we cared. I used an animal communicator after Sabin's crossing and he told me there WAS nothing to forgive, and yet I still suffer for what I didn't do for him. (I'm in need of another reading, I can see)
I can't WAIT for the day when all this earthly pain is over and I can finally be reunited with ALL of my loved and beloved ones all at the same time. But until then, I 'sacrifice' whatever I have to to take care of my Nis' (currently suffering with a painful corneal dent, during our holidays, no less - I'm going mental with worry! ). Luckily, I do have a husband who helps us by being more stable than I with every crisis. I greatly admire you for having gone through what you did without someone else by your side to give you support. I don't think I'm as strong as all that as my emotions are directly tied to my kidlet's happiness (not a healthy thing, but I can't seem to help it).
As for not knowing Buddy was sick (in time), I don't think we should beat ourselves up about that kind of thing because, although I now have TWO holistic vets for Nissa, and have consulted with about 3 more at times, even their answers differ sometimes. With Sabin, although we had done bloodwork only 2 months prior, it showed NOTHING wrong, though he had advanced cancer that had metastisized to the lungs already by the time it was even noticed on an X-ray. The Emerg. vet just thought it was a bad image and so sent us home without a clue as to what made him fall down the stairs. In a mere 2 wks time, one tiny spot became many - much faster than the guestimate I'd been given by a top animal oncologist here. My point is, many times the vets don't even detect anything before you're forced to just manage disease. I've had to accept that sometimes things are just meant to be a certain way even if I don't know why and may never know until I'm gone, too....then I'm HOPING all will be explained!
Have you ever read the story about the little girl who saw her 2 cats just before she passed? I think it's on the Rainbow Bridge site (can't recall the name right now). And if you're doubting, you could try to find that book I mentioned in my other post, OR I can tell you about how my own Bud came through to me and Nissa in the days, and years, after he transitioned to spirit. Let me know if you want to hear about it....now I have to call Nissa's Reiki practitioner to get her more help. I wish I could physically be there to hug you and share your tears as I know how excruciating losing a fur-son can be.
Blessings and Reiki Hugs to you, Joy and to Buddy, too.
I'm very glad anything I had to say helped you out somewhat. Even when we've 'been there', it's often hard to know what someone might need, because nothing really takes the anguish away. I'm so sorry you just lost your sweet Buddy and had to go through all the anticipatory grief that comes with disease. I sure know how THAT feels, too. By the way, what a beautiful picture of him! He just LOOKS like he has an old soul full of wisdom, and from what you wrote about your/his routines, it certainly sounds like it, too. He knew what he needed and helped make it easier for you to accomplish - that's quite a blessing.
My Nissa (Sabin's sister) has had kidney disease ever since her brother transitioned and yah, it's an emotional battle and yet without her to comfort me after Sabin's passing, I don't think I would have made it, as this was my first large loss since my 2 budgies passed when I was a little girl, then a teener. Nissa has been through, with me, the move away from my family/home city, Sabin's medical problems and passing, and the loss of both my Mother and eldest brother last year. I can't even imagine life without her by my side. She started kissing me on the lips right after she was spayed as a kidlet, but REALLY stepped it up the very day Sabin passed and we're counting to a MILLION. How could I not love her to pieces?! I think about that horrible choice I'll probably have to make with her and shrink from it inside my heart. I went through it with Sabin, but unfortunately didn't know enough, didn't get any advice from our vet ( though she knew the details of his symptoms day by day ) and SHOULD have helped him, but didn't. It's awful, having to 'play God' and wondering forever if you made the right choice. From what I've heard, though, no matter which choice we make, most seem to suffer guilt and all I can say is that at least it's a measure of how much we cared. I used an animal communicator after Sabin's crossing and he told me there WAS nothing to forgive, and yet I still suffer for what I didn't do for him. (I'm in need of another reading, I can see)
I can't WAIT for the day when all this earthly pain is over and I can finally be reunited with ALL of my loved and beloved ones all at the same time. But until then, I 'sacrifice' whatever I have to to take care of my Nis' (currently suffering with a painful corneal dent, during our holidays, no less - I'm going mental with worry! ). Luckily, I do have a husband who helps us by being more stable than I with every crisis. I greatly admire you for having gone through what you did without someone else by your side to give you support. I don't think I'm as strong as all that as my emotions are directly tied to my kidlet's happiness (not a healthy thing, but I can't seem to help it).
As for not knowing Buddy was sick (in time), I don't think we should beat ourselves up about that kind of thing because, although I now have TWO holistic vets for Nissa, and have consulted with about 3 more at times, even their answers differ sometimes. With Sabin, although we had done bloodwork only 2 months prior, it showed NOTHING wrong, though he had advanced cancer that had metastisized to the lungs already by the time it was even noticed on an X-ray. The Emerg. vet just thought it was a bad image and so sent us home without a clue as to what made him fall down the stairs. In a mere 2 wks time, one tiny spot became many - much faster than the guestimate I'd been given by a top animal oncologist here. My point is, many times the vets don't even detect anything before you're forced to just manage disease. I've had to accept that sometimes things are just meant to be a certain way even if I don't know why and may never know until I'm gone, too....then I'm HOPING all will be explained!
Have you ever read the story about the little girl who saw her 2 cats just before she passed? I think it's on the Rainbow Bridge site (can't recall the name right now). And if you're doubting, you could try to find that book I mentioned in my other post, OR I can tell you about how my own Bud came through to me and Nissa in the days, and years, after he transitioned to spirit. Let me know if you want to hear about it....now I have to call Nissa's Reiki practitioner to get her more help. I wish I could physically be there to hug you and share your tears as I know how excruciating losing a fur-son can be.
Blessings and Reiki Hugs to you, Joy and to Buddy, too.
Hello everybody
Just needed to write a few words again since losing my wee hairy pal, Sgith, 5 weeks ago. Before we lsot him,I owuld ever have believed just how hard soemthing like was going to be - I ache to wrap my fingers in his furry neck an dhave him lick my face so much that i cant do anything for laughing. Every day is differnet - one day I will think I'm doingok then the next is a complete mess and I cants ee for tears.It seems like just yesterdy that I had him sit on my kw at the computer butthen again it seems so long since I heard his 'wuff'. I feel bad because I sometimes think I'm forgetting how his wuff sounds.
We adopted a poor wee collie soul from the shelter, abandoned, starved and beaten and he is settling in welll although he is very timid. and makes an awful mess at night. - My daughter Katie is having trouble bonding with him and wont have anything to do with him yet but the boys are fine - they are able to laugh with him now. I thibk hes a nie wee pal and Iknow i'll come to love him as much int he future but at the moment ,its still veryhard. At least , I amglad we are able to offer him a secure and loving home.
When will I be able to go to sleep without torturing myself with thoughts of my babies last moments, was he aware of the pain , did he wonder where I was, did he know what was happening to him? These thoughts just kill me and I want to waken up and for it to be a night mare.
Thank you to everyone on this forum - you have all been a big help to me here ove r the last month - we are all suffering in our own way but we can still help each other.
Fiona
Just needed to write a few words again since losing my wee hairy pal, Sgith, 5 weeks ago. Before we lsot him,I owuld ever have believed just how hard soemthing like was going to be - I ache to wrap my fingers in his furry neck an dhave him lick my face so much that i cant do anything for laughing. Every day is differnet - one day I will think I'm doingok then the next is a complete mess and I cants ee for tears.It seems like just yesterdy that I had him sit on my kw at the computer butthen again it seems so long since I heard his 'wuff'. I feel bad because I sometimes think I'm forgetting how his wuff sounds.
We adopted a poor wee collie soul from the shelter, abandoned, starved and beaten and he is settling in welll although he is very timid. and makes an awful mess at night. - My daughter Katie is having trouble bonding with him and wont have anything to do with him yet but the boys are fine - they are able to laugh with him now. I thibk hes a nie wee pal and Iknow i'll come to love him as much int he future but at the moment ,its still veryhard. At least , I amglad we are able to offer him a secure and loving home.
When will I be able to go to sleep without torturing myself with thoughts of my babies last moments, was he aware of the pain , did he wonder where I was, did he know what was happening to him? These thoughts just kill me and I want to waken up and for it to be a night mare.
Thank you to everyone on this forum - you have all been a big help to me here ove r the last month - we are all suffering in our own way but we can still help each other.
Fiona
Hi Fiona
Sorry to hear you are having so much sadness with your grief over Sgith. I too am feeling the same sadness that I felt the day I lost Buddy 6 weeks ago. I am reading "Healing grief" by James Van Praagh. He talks about the various stages of grief: Guilt, sadness, shock, denial, confusion and sometimes physical illness. His book has a chapter about pets that you may feel helpful. Our little loved ones offer us unconditional love and in many cases like my own - our only source of comfort and reason to come home after work. His book will help you to know that each of us grieves differently. Many of us may never 'get over' the loss of our little loved ones and that is okay. We just need to acknowlege that feeling and learn to live with the fact that our lives will change - this takes time. My guilt about whether or not I loved him enough, cared enough, you name it - drives me crazy - all normal parts of grief. We can not beat ourselves up. After 16 years of life with Buddy I know it will take a very long time to stop crying when I get home and when I go to bed at night. I understand this can take a long time. We had a routine as I'm sure you did with Sgith and a long routine of someones constant love is very had to live without. I am seeing a grief councelor and hope that she can help. I still feel that if a truck ran me over and I could be with Buddy again - that would be fine with me. This I guess is a normal feeling.
Just writing this has made me cry - I am on vacatio this week and I don't think it has helped me because I have more time to feel sad. So, believe me you are not alone and many of us on this website feel the same way.
That is why we are here. God bless you...
Joy
Sorry to hear you are having so much sadness with your grief over Sgith. I too am feeling the same sadness that I felt the day I lost Buddy 6 weeks ago. I am reading "Healing grief" by James Van Praagh. He talks about the various stages of grief: Guilt, sadness, shock, denial, confusion and sometimes physical illness. His book has a chapter about pets that you may feel helpful. Our little loved ones offer us unconditional love and in many cases like my own - our only source of comfort and reason to come home after work. His book will help you to know that each of us grieves differently. Many of us may never 'get over' the loss of our little loved ones and that is okay. We just need to acknowlege that feeling and learn to live with the fact that our lives will change - this takes time. My guilt about whether or not I loved him enough, cared enough, you name it - drives me crazy - all normal parts of grief. We can not beat ourselves up. After 16 years of life with Buddy I know it will take a very long time to stop crying when I get home and when I go to bed at night. I understand this can take a long time. We had a routine as I'm sure you did with Sgith and a long routine of someones constant love is very had to live without. I am seeing a grief councelor and hope that she can help. I still feel that if a truck ran me over and I could be with Buddy again - that would be fine with me. This I guess is a normal feeling.
Just writing this has made me cry - I am on vacatio this week and I don't think it has helped me because I have more time to feel sad. So, believe me you are not alone and many of us on this website feel the same way.
That is why we are here. God bless you...
Joy
I just wanted to add my sympathies in the passing of your dear, sweet Sgith. I lost my precious kitty, Pumpkin, last Saturday. He was a treasured member of our family for 14 years.
Please be gentle with yourself and go with your emotions. Anytime you need to, cry your eyes out. The first day after Pumpkin's death, I would just go in the backyard and sob for him. The pain was so intense that I couldn't breath sometimes. It helps to know that you're not alone. Find others that understand how you're feeling and stay away from insensitive people. Come to this site because we're here for you.
The grief I felt for Pumpkin surpassed any grief I had ever felt for anyone else. I felt guilty, but my husband said that it is perfectly normal since I had spent more time with him than anyone else. Your feelings are not something you can control. Do NOT feel bad about them. Other people say the pain is just as bad as losing a human loved one. Our beloved pets are members of our families, too.
Love,
Helena
Please be gentle with yourself and go with your emotions. Anytime you need to, cry your eyes out. The first day after Pumpkin's death, I would just go in the backyard and sob for him. The pain was so intense that I couldn't breath sometimes. It helps to know that you're not alone. Find others that understand how you're feeling and stay away from insensitive people. Come to this site because we're here for you.
The grief I felt for Pumpkin surpassed any grief I had ever felt for anyone else. I felt guilty, but my husband said that it is perfectly normal since I had spent more time with him than anyone else. Your feelings are not something you can control. Do NOT feel bad about them. Other people say the pain is just as bad as losing a human loved one. Our beloved pets are members of our families, too.
Love,
Helena
Hi Helena
Thank you for your kind words - I havn't been on for a few days, have been away for a quiet few days ont he Wst Coast of Scotland with the new member of the family, Breac. He had a lovely time onthe beach and will hopefully settle in nicely - a few problems but his confidence is growing every day. I'm so sorry for your loss, in Pumkin, too - its good to know that others appreciate what we're all going though and know just how sore it is. Our wee beasties worm their way into our hearts and lives and make it whole - but we never appreciate what its going to be like when somethig happens to them do we? we do learn however, to really love what we do have and to tell everyone, people or animal.
Not a day goes past when I dont cry a tear for my baby Sgith - it still hurts terribly and I find I'm dreaming about him more now - I try not to show it to the rest of the family though, they're all being very 'good' and I feel, wrongly I know, that I should be 'getting over it'. I keep thinking I see him out of the corner of my eye, or in the garden, a fleeting shadow. But Breac keeps me busy and he deserves all our love and attention and we're very honoured to give him that.
Keep your chin up Helena, Pumpkin will be with you - we can all believe that and maybe that helps the pain
Love
Fiona
Thank you for your kind words - I havn't been on for a few days, have been away for a quiet few days ont he Wst Coast of Scotland with the new member of the family, Breac. He had a lovely time onthe beach and will hopefully settle in nicely - a few problems but his confidence is growing every day. I'm so sorry for your loss, in Pumkin, too - its good to know that others appreciate what we're all going though and know just how sore it is. Our wee beasties worm their way into our hearts and lives and make it whole - but we never appreciate what its going to be like when somethig happens to them do we? we do learn however, to really love what we do have and to tell everyone, people or animal.
Not a day goes past when I dont cry a tear for my baby Sgith - it still hurts terribly and I find I'm dreaming about him more now - I try not to show it to the rest of the family though, they're all being very 'good' and I feel, wrongly I know, that I should be 'getting over it'. I keep thinking I see him out of the corner of my eye, or in the garden, a fleeting shadow. But Breac keeps me busy and he deserves all our love and attention and we're very honoured to give him that.
Keep your chin up Helena, Pumpkin will be with you - we can all believe that and maybe that helps the pain
Love
Fiona
Fiona,
I'm glad to hear you and Breac are busy building your new relationship together. You both deserve all the love you can muster for each other.
Pay attention to those dreams, as they may be ADC's ( After Death Communications ) from your dear Sgith. They often come to us in our minds when sleeping, as we're more open at those times. I know I often had dreams about my own furboy, Sabin, where the predominant feeling was, despite any of the other chaos going on in my dream, he was okay, in spirit 'form' and I didn't have to worry for his safety any more. It always felt like he was 'in control' or something akin to that and I found that very comforting. If you think you're seeing Sgith out of the corner of your eye, you likely are, as this is a very common way to 'see' them afterwards and there are many accounts of sightings such as this. I experienced this as well, and still do on occasion. The best thing you can do when these things happen is to thank your baby for coming to you, and ask for more visits if that's what you want....but belief in the experience is key.
I wonder if you ought not to keep talking to your family, both about how you're still feeling, and about these experiences? Often people find that others close to the transitioned one have also had experiences that they didn't divulge to anyone, and the sharing of them only increases one's faith, trust, relief, comfort and validates the experiences as real. And just because you've got a new family member to care for, doesn't mean you have to 'forget' about your continuing (on a spiritual level ) relationship with your dear Sgith. It IS okay to include them both. You might even find Breac can point the way to yet more signs from Sgith, as animals often find it much easier to see these other realms than we do. For me, both my furboy's sister and I often shared in his ADC's together, which was a wonderful validation that it wasn't all in my grieving head. My husband, on the other hand, either didn't need these things or didn't believe in them as much as I did, so it was more fitting that we, two heavily-grieving gals were the ones to be blessed with Sabin's visits. He must have known we needed him around yet, and, loving boy that he was, he granted our requests in ways we couldn't miss.
I wish you support, love and angelic aid in your continuing journey with both Breac and Sgith. ( and you're right........you don't 'get over it', you cope with it and hopefully grow from it in time )
I'm glad to hear you and Breac are busy building your new relationship together. You both deserve all the love you can muster for each other.
Pay attention to those dreams, as they may be ADC's ( After Death Communications ) from your dear Sgith. They often come to us in our minds when sleeping, as we're more open at those times. I know I often had dreams about my own furboy, Sabin, where the predominant feeling was, despite any of the other chaos going on in my dream, he was okay, in spirit 'form' and I didn't have to worry for his safety any more. It always felt like he was 'in control' or something akin to that and I found that very comforting. If you think you're seeing Sgith out of the corner of your eye, you likely are, as this is a very common way to 'see' them afterwards and there are many accounts of sightings such as this. I experienced this as well, and still do on occasion. The best thing you can do when these things happen is to thank your baby for coming to you, and ask for more visits if that's what you want....but belief in the experience is key.
I wonder if you ought not to keep talking to your family, both about how you're still feeling, and about these experiences? Often people find that others close to the transitioned one have also had experiences that they didn't divulge to anyone, and the sharing of them only increases one's faith, trust, relief, comfort and validates the experiences as real. And just because you've got a new family member to care for, doesn't mean you have to 'forget' about your continuing (on a spiritual level ) relationship with your dear Sgith. It IS okay to include them both. You might even find Breac can point the way to yet more signs from Sgith, as animals often find it much easier to see these other realms than we do. For me, both my furboy's sister and I often shared in his ADC's together, which was a wonderful validation that it wasn't all in my grieving head. My husband, on the other hand, either didn't need these things or didn't believe in them as much as I did, so it was more fitting that we, two heavily-grieving gals were the ones to be blessed with Sabin's visits. He must have known we needed him around yet, and, loving boy that he was, he granted our requests in ways we couldn't miss.
I wish you support, love and angelic aid in your continuing journey with both Breac and Sgith. ( and you're right........you don't 'get over it', you cope with it and hopefully grow from it in time )
FM ( funny, thats the same as my initials!!)
Thank you so much for your lovely post - I read it with tears in my eyes and a glimmer of hope in my soul. I WILL listen to my dreams - mum was just saying yesterday thats shes stopped having the nightmares about the day that Sgith died, he died in her arms. Maybe she'll start having nice dreams about him. I firmyl believe that there is 'somehting else' there and that we should somehow let it in. Just a case of finding it. Those shadows ARE my baby coming to see me. I caught myself taking the clipping of his hair from the cupboard the other day and smelling his smell - its still there, I hope it never goes.
I do keep trying to get the family to speak about Sgith, but I think they do find it very difficult, almost that they feel taht by hiding it, it'll get easier. The boys are working very hard with breac and he has helped them a lot. But they wont do things like let Breac in to the back garden where Sgith is buried - that is 'his place'. I'm sure that will come - Sgith is with us allt he time - his photo has pride of place on our coffee table. I suppose as you say, it is a case of giving ourselves 'ermission' to grieve and think of him. I started to read a lovely book the other day 'The Dog whisperer" and there is very moving section at the beginning about the authors loss of 2 of her precious pals within 24 hours of each other. It was alovely passage and had me in tears. I was surprised when Donald picked the book up and read the same part then said very quietly as if to noone special" I liked the piece about her grief" -hes obvioulsy thinking about Sgith just as much as me but finds it hard to show it.
I thank you somuch for your words - writing and reading on here has helped me so muchover the past few weeks -more than I could ever have believed. I hope it can do the same for others. I am thinking about you too - although we've never met, we have somuch in common. I hope and pray that you are mending.
LOL
Fiona
Thank you so much for your lovely post - I read it with tears in my eyes and a glimmer of hope in my soul. I WILL listen to my dreams - mum was just saying yesterday thats shes stopped having the nightmares about the day that Sgith died, he died in her arms. Maybe she'll start having nice dreams about him. I firmyl believe that there is 'somehting else' there and that we should somehow let it in. Just a case of finding it. Those shadows ARE my baby coming to see me. I caught myself taking the clipping of his hair from the cupboard the other day and smelling his smell - its still there, I hope it never goes.
I do keep trying to get the family to speak about Sgith, but I think they do find it very difficult, almost that they feel taht by hiding it, it'll get easier. The boys are working very hard with breac and he has helped them a lot. But they wont do things like let Breac in to the back garden where Sgith is buried - that is 'his place'. I'm sure that will come - Sgith is with us allt he time - his photo has pride of place on our coffee table. I suppose as you say, it is a case of giving ourselves 'ermission' to grieve and think of him. I started to read a lovely book the other day 'The Dog whisperer" and there is very moving section at the beginning about the authors loss of 2 of her precious pals within 24 hours of each other. It was alovely passage and had me in tears. I was surprised when Donald picked the book up and read the same part then said very quietly as if to noone special" I liked the piece about her grief" -hes obvioulsy thinking about Sgith just as much as me but finds it hard to show it.
I thank you somuch for your words - writing and reading on here has helped me so muchover the past few weeks -more than I could ever have believed. I hope it can do the same for others. I am thinking about you too - although we've never met, we have somuch in common. I hope and pray that you are mending.
LOL
Fiona
Fiona, I just read over these two pages and It's so good to see that you've quit thinking you're going crazy and feeling better. I asked the same question here after Dexter was murdered "Am I losing it?" I wasn't.. I was in pain. He's been gone nearly a year now and I still miss him dearly but two dogs have come into my life and home since he died and while they aren't him, they are my friends nevertheless. There were times I came here, even after 15 weeks, that I STILL thought I was off the deep end. Now I know better. Best of wishes to you and your family.
Amy
Amy
Hello everyone, I've come back for a wee chat. Have been thinking about everyone over the past few weeks and wondering how everyone is getting on. For some reason, I've been having avery hard time the last couple fo months - still thinking of wee Sgith every day and found it very hard to get over Christmas without his inquisitevness with theparcels under the tree and getting under my feet , when carving the turkey! I missed him more than I ever thought I would and still have a wee tear for him most days - some worse than opthers. Its like its all become fresh again for some reason.
Alos we've started to think about moving house t- 2 new dogs need more space - and the one thing thats really making us think twice aout it is the fact taht we'd have to leave my wee buddy behind. I never thought at the time, that we mightbe faced with this, we just wanted him beside us still - I wish we'd had him cremated then we wouldn'tbe faced with this. Has anybody else been faced with this and if so, how did you cope with it?
I love my 2 new doggies but I still miss my wee pal so much
Fiona
Alos we've started to think about moving house t- 2 new dogs need more space - and the one thing thats really making us think twice aout it is the fact taht we'd have to leave my wee buddy behind. I never thought at the time, that we mightbe faced with this, we just wanted him beside us still - I wish we'd had him cremated then we wouldn'tbe faced with this. Has anybody else been faced with this and if so, how did you cope with it?
I love my 2 new doggies but I still miss my wee pal so much
Fiona
Someone else here was faced with that very same situation. If you buried him in something (like a make shift coffin of some sort) most pet crematory places will still cremate the remains , if you have someone that is willing to take care of the excavation. I wouldn't want you to have to put yourself through that.
If not, then we really only want to keep their shells with us because it makes US feel better, but you are really no further away from your baby regardless. That is all that it is~their shell~their spirits are with us, and in our hearts, no matter how far we travel. Your baby is not where his shell lies, but is with you, wherever you go
your friend in grief,
Kim
If not, then we really only want to keep their shells with us because it makes US feel better, but you are really no further away from your baby regardless. That is all that it is~their shell~their spirits are with us, and in our hearts, no matter how far we travel. Your baby is not where his shell lies, but is with you, wherever you go
your friend in grief,
Kim
I have two furbabies buried over 8,000 miles away from where I am now.
Fourteen and fifteen years have passed since I buried them but they are with me in my heart and yours will go with you wherever you are.
Fourteen and fifteen years have passed since I buried them but they are with me in my heart and yours will go with you wherever you are.
I lost my Kurby a week ago as well. He was struck by a car and killed 5 mins before I got home from work. (My husband had let him out to pee.) The car never stopped. I am doing better emotionally but I still have my moments and I miss him terribly. I can tell you it will get better slowly and I know this because last week I saw no light at the end of the tunnel. I wanted to curl up and die. Think of something to do in memory of your pet. I am making my Kurby a memorial garden beside his favorite tree with a waterfall and flowers/plants. I ordered him a memorial stone online with his name on it as well to go in his garden. I will visit it often and talk to him. This helps me get thru day to day.
I will pray for you and your pet.
"kurbysma"
I will pray for you and your pet.
"kurbysma"
I just lost my dog today. She didn't die, my former boyfriend sued me for her after I have been the sole caregiver of her for a year, and believe it or not, he won in court. He won because he owned her before me. I gave her to him today after court and I have been crying not stop! I don't know what is wrong with me. I keep thinking about the long walks I would take her on, how she would get her favorite baby at night and climb into bed with me with it. I am grieving more for her than the breakup of my relationship with the man I dated! The judge said that in Kentucky a dog is nothing more than a item someone owns, and it didn't matter that I had witnessed that came to court that live in my apartment complex that testified I was the only one they saw that ever walked the dog. He said since I am a full time college student that was expected. I feel like Dorothy from the wizard of Oz. I can't go against the law, but at the same time I want to yell "Run Gypsy, Run, come back to me!" The grief wouldn't be so bad if I thought he would take care of her. But he was so lazy he would never, ever walk her, or bath her or brush her or buy her toys. How do I get over losing this wonderful dog that wasn't legally mine? Can I ever find another dog as gentle and loving? 
I can't imagine how difficult it must be to be in your shoes. I know it must hurt just as bad as if she had actually died. In some ways, maybe worse.. I would worry myself sick thinking about how she was being taken care of, especially if his track record on that matter isn't really much to speak of. At least when our pets leave this world, we can take comfort that we know they are ok, we just miss them so badly. On top of missing her so badly, you have to worry about her well being and happiness and whether or not she has been fed and watered or taken outside......I am so sorry for you. I would make myself sick with worry if I just had to leave my girl with much trusted family members overnight, I don't know what I would do if faced with your situation.
Why did he even want her back after a year being with you? Was he just being spiteful? Is there nothing else legally you can pursue? I hope, not only for your sake, but for your babies sake ( of which really pisses me off that her feelings aren' t taken into account here), that you can find a way to bring her home where she belongs!
P.S.~when all else fails, you can always hire a hitman
! JUST JOKING 
! no I'm not 
.
Why did he even want her back after a year being with you? Was he just being spiteful? Is there nothing else legally you can pursue? I hope, not only for your sake, but for your babies sake ( of which really pisses me off that her feelings aren' t taken into account here), that you can find a way to bring her home where she belongs!
P.S.~when all else fails, you can always hire a hitman
! JUST JOKING ! no I'm not .
Hi - thanks for your feedback. I wish there was something more legally I could do to get her back - But I already spent $3,000.00 on an attorney fees and walked out of court without Gypsy, so I am afraid that is all I could have done. I think he wanted her back because she is such a good dog, everyone gives her praise on her behaviour and he likes that attention - I think he does love her, but that he is just a very lazy dog owner. He uses people to take care of her, and when they get attached to her, he takes her away. He did this to his once before with Gypsy, before I met him he told me he left Gypsy with his ex-girlfriend for 7 months then came and took her back and how the girl cried and didn't want to give her to him, but he filed felony class D charges on her and she immediately gave him Gypsy back. Well, I was up all night crying. My eyes are swollen so bad I look like a frog. I had to miss Chemistry class this morning because I literally couldn't open my eyes. I have to go to Anatomy Lab for a test at 2:00pm, I hope to God I can see well enough to pass the test 
Anyway, I know I will heal, I plan on getting a dog of my very own after I finish this grieving process for Gypsy - Kimberly
Anyway, I know I will heal, I plan on getting a dog of my very own after I finish this grieving process for Gypsy - Kimberly
Kimberley
I hope ou managed to get through your tests ok and you mnaged to shut off at least long enough toget through them all. I feel so sorry for you - it is like a death really isn't it? I suppose maybe though while theres life , theres hope? Are you allowed visitation rights or anything like that? I do hope your ex will at least allow you to visit and maybe look after your baby on weekends and holdiays, things like that - if there is absolutely no chance that you will be allowed custody back? I am thinking about you - I know how bereft it is possible to feel - and our wee pals mean the earth to us all.
As for my wee Sgith-zums final resting place - well, he was buried wrapped in his very favourite very expensive, native American blanket -so I dont really suppose it would be possible to lift him up again. I know that we have to reconcile ourselves to leaving him behind, but I cant bear the thought of somebody else in years to come, digging him up by accident and turfing him out with the rubbish. I so wish, we had been able to sit back a little at the time and think about a situation like this but its too late.
Thinking of you all out there.
Fiona
I hope ou managed to get through your tests ok and you mnaged to shut off at least long enough toget through them all. I feel so sorry for you - it is like a death really isn't it? I suppose maybe though while theres life , theres hope? Are you allowed visitation rights or anything like that? I do hope your ex will at least allow you to visit and maybe look after your baby on weekends and holdiays, things like that - if there is absolutely no chance that you will be allowed custody back? I am thinking about you - I know how bereft it is possible to feel - and our wee pals mean the earth to us all.
As for my wee Sgith-zums final resting place - well, he was buried wrapped in his very favourite very expensive, native American blanket -so I dont really suppose it would be possible to lift him up again. I know that we have to reconcile ourselves to leaving him behind, but I cant bear the thought of somebody else in years to come, digging him up by accident and turfing him out with the rubbish. I so wish, we had been able to sit back a little at the time and think about a situation like this but its too late.
Thinking of you all out there.
Fiona
Just a thought on this - maybe the people who buy your house could be informed as to the special place, and then perhaps they'll give your little one's resting place the dignity it deserves? I don't know, maybe that's wishful thinking, but there are a lot of people out there who've lost and grieved for a pet, and you might be blessed enough to have your home belong to someone like that. When we bought our current home, the previous owners were present at the closing, and I don't know how they do things where you live, but maybe it is something similar. Good luck, take care, and thanks for coming back and sharing with us - Barbara
THank you Barbara - good idea. whether it would work or not I dont kow - what happens here is that you usually dont meet the new owners of the house, but I suppose the solicitors could maybe have it arranged differently. even if they said they would respect the special place, but then didn't, at least I suppose I wouldn't know anything about it. Its just all very sad and I dont want to have to think about it . Maybe a lesson to anybody else reading this any time in the future - try to take a second think before making a final decision re the way of saying goodbye to our little pals.
Thinking of you all out there.
Fiona
Thinking of you all out there.
Fiona
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