It has only been 4 days since we lost our baby, Duke. Yesterday his clay paw impression came in the mail from the vet...and I wasn't expecting it. I knew they would send it but I didn't realize it would come so quickly. I sobbed and sobbed and held it next to my heart. I then placed it next to two of our favorite pictures of him...one of him sleeping peacefully on the couch and one of him gazing into the backyard with the sunlight hitting his beautiful face.

I just want to feel better but my emotions are so up and down..I think I am doing ok then I break down. Please tell me this gets easier. I am feeling so much pain...I just want to kiss his face and hold him again. We miss our baby so much.

-Angela

Dear Angela,

You will get better, but you have to give yourself time. The best advice I can give you is to allow yourself to cry and grieve and feel bad and miss Duke and be angry that he was taken away, etc. All of those are important feelings that you need to allow yourself. When Shiloh died I decided to give myself a year to grieve. The first few months were really hard, but I have to say healing does take place, and I think it takes place the easiest if you give yourself permission to grieve. I remember when I first joined here, someone told me the tears you shed are healing tears...it's true.

Be patient and kind with yourself. Duke was an important member of your family, and you need to grieve for him just like you would any member of your family.

Hugs,
Kathleen

Angela- I am so sorry about Duke's passing. I read in one of your posts that he had lymphoma. My chocolate lab Lucy died of lymphoma in February. It was so painful and hard to watch. It does move really fast, I know. You are really going through the worst of it now, and hopefully as each new day comes, it will hurt a little less. Also in response to another post about when to get a new dog, I think that whenever it happens, it must be right. When Lucy was diagnosed, I told my husband that I would never get another dog, as I did not ever want to feel that depth of pain again. Then I realized that without intense love is what makes you feel the intense grief and loss. Lucy was worth that at least to me. We ended up getting a one year old dog from the pound the day he was supposed to be euthanised. He is wonderful and I love him a lot. Not in the same way I loved Lucy, but it is love nonetheless. I don't know what made us decide to adopt him. Maybe pity, hopefulness, missing Lucy, wanting to hear footsteps in the house again. Whatever it was, it happened, and it is working out okay. We adopted Fergus about a month and a half after Lucy died. We originally said we would wait 6 months to a year after Lucy died, but it just didn't work out that way. From the sounds of things, you are a true dog lover at heart, and the loss of Duke's physical being is very hard for you. I will be thinking of you, as I know this is not an easy journey to be on....

Take care, Caroline