Hello Heidi Here:

I wish to thank all who replied to my call for help. I knew that the only way I would be able to cope would be with others who have been through what I am going through. I had a really rough night last night. I tried to go to bed to go to sleep but I was very restless and I ended up wandering back and forth through the house and even thought I heard Sammi scratching on the kitchen window to be let in. My husband had put a little perch outside the window just last year so she could go in and out and bathe in the sunlight. It was the funniest thing, she would go out the door and come in the window or she would go out the window and come in the door. My husband started calling her in and out cat.
I did get a clipping from her fur that I plan on using to put in memorial album and I had her picture next to me last night but as I was sitting in the lazyboy chair the tears flowed I really felt the need to hold on to her and cuddle her that was painful so I grabbed her collar and held it next to my heart. Today was a tiny bit better and I tried to keep myself busy but there were and are moments where the tears come anyway. I do so appreciate all your support right now and I will keep coming back to talk to you all.
Thank you Thank you Thank you
Heidi

Hi, Heidi-

I think you'll find that as time passes the pain will subside a bit. Right now your saddness and grief is very fresh. It took about 6 months for me to get to a point where I could talk to friends about Shiloh without tearing up. Now I'm dealing with another loss...my 8 year old cat Hobbie just passed away 4 weeks ago. Her passing has opened new wounds and reopened some of the Shiloh wounds that had almost healed.

Some of the things I've done to help cope with both the loss of Shiloh and Hobbie, is I have a memory do%%ent for both of them, and anytime I remember a fond memory of them, I write it down. When I feel sad, I pull up some memories, and it's not long before I find myself smiling through my tears.

I think your idea of putting together an album for Sammi is a great idea.

Hugs to you.
Kathleen

Hi Heide,

when i used to walk the floor at night with a trillion things going round my head, i used to sit down and type them all on here and somehow that did the trick i would go back to bed and - bliss - sleep.

give it a go or if you dont want to put it on here start a diary.

hope it helps

Love Sue

Heidi, I agree about the writing it all down. I lost my best friend, Bailey, on May 2, 2005 and I'm still strugling with the guilt and pain. But coming to this website helps and having a journal helps, also. Good luck on your journey. We're all here. Lisa