We had to let our beloved Duke go yesterday...he was 11 years old. He was diagnosed with Lymphoma that spread very fast and took over his body in less than a week. He also had cardiomyopathy and arthitis, which we had been treating. He told us it was time to go...it was the hardest thing my boyfriend and I have ever done. We are devastated...I feel so empty.

Dear Dukerman,

I'm so sorry about Duke. I too lost my beloved Shiloh to lymphoma. She was diagnosed a year ago in May and even though we did chemotherapy, she never made it through the chemo regime. I had to have her put to sleep in September.

I know the kind of devastation you're feeling right now...especially since Duke went down hill so quickly. These first days will be very hard, but in time the pain will ease. I know when Shiloh first died, I cried when I left for work in the morning and when I came home from work in the afternoon. Shiloh's been gone for 9 months now, and even though I still miss her (and I always will), the happy memories of her are more of constant with me than the intense pain of losing her. I hope this helps.

You're in my thoughts.
Kathleen

Thank you so much for your kind words, I am sorry about Shiloh. Duke was just officially diagnosed on Sunday after I noticed his lymph nodes in the neck were enlarged about two weeks ago, then he had facial swelling and everything started going wrong in two days. I could't believe how fast he deteriorated since he had always been such a strong boy. This probably could have been diagnosed sooner, but honestly we don't know how long he had it. We were always over protective and he was constantly at the vet for even minor problems, so I don't understand how this WASN'T diagnosed sooner. Since he already had health issues, we didn't decide to go with Chemo (which by the way I still have feelings of guilt over)...we knew that even if we did try chemo, his heart was also in bad shape and could take him first. And like you said, chemo didn't even work for Shiloh.

We are having a horrible time facing this...and it's so hard to deal with because we had him for so long and he was our family...I was 19 years old and my boyfriend was 20 when we first brought Duke home at the age of six weeks. We all grew up together. We are just trying to deal with the actual loss of his physical being, but we know he's still with us.

I am so sorry about Duke. I am 9 days out from my loss and it still hurts, so I know how you are feeling now. Don't regret that you didn't choose chemo for Duke. I'm a nurse at a pediatric hospital and I've seen what chemo can do. It's poison. I know it can save lives, but if I were to choose that option for my companion animal, I would need a nearly 100% guarantee that it would make him/her better. Cost is not an issue, it's a quality of life thing. I'm so glad that we have more control over our furry friend's end of life issues than parents (or anyone for that matter) have over their loved ones. The state can force you to allow your child to have chemo. What a way to remember your child's last few days. You allowed Duke to die with dignity. He will be with you always because you love him so much. Notice that I said "love" and not "loved." Love never dies.

Christine

I'm so sorry about Duke's passing. May he be at peace at the Bridge. Letting someone go like that is always hard but it's the kindest last act you could do for Duke.

Thanks everyone...you really are helping me realize that we did the right thing for our boy. Of course I still miss him terribly and can't stop crying, but I think that he would want me to pick myself up and remember how happy we all were when he was healthy.

-Angela

Dear Angela,

Please don't feel guilty about not doing chemo. I chose chemo for Shiloh because she was young, very healthy, and "a good candidate" (to quote my vet oncologist), and I was assured by my vet that chemo in animals is very different than chemo in humans...quality of life is the top priority (the only side effect Shiloh had from chemo was a low white blood cell count...she maintained her dignity and beauty up until 2 days before she died). But even with the chemo, her cancer was so aggresive (which sounds similar to Duke's) that it wasn't enough. There are no guarantees with chemo, and with Duke's already compromised health, it may not have worked anyway.

Lymphoma is such an awful disease...it progresses so quickly. I know you're feeling like you missed something with Duke, but I don't think you did. Shiloh's neck lymph nodes went from normal size to the size of a lemon in less than a week. That's how lymphoma is. Two days before I had Shiloh put to sleep, she was running and digging in prairie dog holes...1 day later she couldn't eat and could barely breathe. It's such a terrible disease and I'm so sorry Duke and Shiloh had to suffer from it. And, I'm sorry we lost our furbabies to it.

You continue to be in my thoughts.
Kathleen

Kathleen, After I posted my note about Duke, I realized that I had been a little insensitive regarding my comments about chemo. Of course you should try chemo if the dog is young and healthy and has a good chance of survival. My husband (before I knew him) had a rottweiler that had 18 months extra life because of monthly adriamycin injections. But the cancer came back with avengeance in a matter of hours one day. She was fine at bedtime, then covered in huge lumps the next morning. But the quality of life during those 18 months was good. I'm just glad that we have the option of euthanasia. I stay with my furry friends when it's time (three have passed that way), and it's very quick, peaceful, and painless. Making that decision is the hardest thing I have ever done.

Love,

Christine

I am so amazed at how wonderful you all are, thank you so much.

Kathleen, I still can't believe how fast the illness took over my baby...and yours as well. Sunday before we went to the emergency vet, he was outside in the backyard with us while we worked in the yard...then the swelling started and all hell broke loose, literally. The next day he wouldn't eat and breathing got really really hard for him...and we knew. His whole body became swollen overnight Tuesday night. He couldn't walk at all, and my boyfriend had to lift him up and place him in his favorite spot on the couch, where he eventually left us. The vet came to our house and she was wonderful, I wouldn't have had it any other way. He hated going to the vet, so we wanted his departure to be from where he was most comfortable.

In a way I think that since the illness progressed so quickly it was easier for us to face, though still not at all easy. Does that make sense?

He was our strong boy...and we will miss and love him always. Such a trooper. I miss you Duke.

-Angela

Hi, Angela



It makes perfect sense. Some cancers linger on and on, and even though a pet that is dianosed with a non-aggresive form of cancer can live a quality life for a while, their health is still compromised. I guess the good/bad thing about lymphoma is that it progresses so quickly that the pet doesn't really have a lot of time to suffer...one day they feel good and the next day they can barely breathe or walk.

Duke sounds like a wonderful dog...a brave little trooper. I know you miss him terribly.

Hugs,
Kathleen

PS - Christine, thanks for your note about the chemo. It did give Shiloh a little bit extra quality time with me, and me with her...and she never suffered any bad side effects.

Angela,

I am so very sorry for your loss. I just realized we both lost our kids on June 22 and that your boy was a red Dobe. My friends have a red Dobe named Tessa. I call her "my girlfriend" and she comes right over, kisses my face and does "the lean" that Dobes do. She's the only dog to visit our house that doesn't drive my cats crazy (well, Neko, the one who passed just ignored her and Lena would hide, but Luka absolutely adores Tessa). So much for the bad rap that Dobes get.

Patti,
I'm so sorry you lost your baby on the same day we had to say goodbye to our baby..so heartbreaking.

Dobies constantly get a bad rap, but I've never met one who doesn't steal my heart. My Duke never hurt a soul...and he was great with our neices and nephews...such a gentle boy.

--Angela