Hi everyone,
I lost my cat last monday and I'm still in a lot of pain.
I still feel like a zombie. Not sure how to feel, not sure if I'm really here on earth..... all i know is that i miss soue soue. I tried to go on w/ my life, tried to smile and laugh...... but I am just pretending.

I guess I should be grateful that he did not suffer. We were going to put him asleep (kidney failure), but he died on the way to the vet. I couldn't be in the car w/ my baby, i let my sisters and brother take care of that.............. but now, I feel guilty that he didn't see my face before he left earth.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that this is a great website and I am very grateful that there are such wonderful people like all of you out there.
and I am really sorry, from the bottom of my heart, that all of you had to suffer one way or another.

I tried to reply to some posts, I tried to comfort others, but I find it really hard............... there are so many of you that need comfort :-) so all I can say is "time will heal the wound" and just remember that all of our loved furry-kids are better off now than they were on earth....... no more growing old, no more diseases, no more pain.... instead, lovely weather, lots of food, healthy/young.... think about it, they're happy....
believing this makes me want to wake up everyday.

Randa,

I am so sorry foryour loss of Soue Soue.

As a person who has unfortunately had to spend way too much time out here, I think we get comfort from reading each others' stories and knowing that all the love and pain we feel is real. And when we reply to others' posts, we are always kinda giving ourself that advice too....

I also think that Soue Soue is relieved that you didn't go with her to the vet. Remember how distressed she'd get whenever you were upset???? if you'd gone on that visit, you would've been so so so upset, and she would've seen that, and that would've upset her. She only wants you to be happy. She is happy and pain free now; she wants the same for you.

--Jennifer

I am just so sorry for you pain. I imagine most of us on the death/dying board have pretended to be happy. Since people don't understand the depth of loss, they expect us to recover much more quickly than they would if they understood they are our children.

I was supposed to take my Lady girl to her third oncologist visit in one week on Sunday May 28th, but she passed away at home the night before. It has been three weeks since then. From the time I found out she had lymphosarcoma to the night she died in my husband's arms was a very short 2 1/2 weeks. I know it wasn't curable, but I was supposed to get another year of remission with her.

I don't have human children, she was my child. She loved me through all of my good and bad times. She knew when I was sad and how to comfort me. I felt I couldn't go on without her. I didn't see any reason for living....No one, except for this board, understood how important she was too me. This website has probably saved my life.

I still miss Lady terribly. I have her picture next to my bed so I can say good night to her. Did you know dogs could smile? My favorite picture is the last one I have of her, from six months ago, with the 1 year old we adopted. Lady was so happy to play with Amanda, she was smiling in that picture. I wish I had adopted a dog friend for Lady years ago.

I decided that even though I wasn't ready, I would get a new dog, for my remaing girl, Amanda, to play with. Why have a dog lay around on cold cement at the pound waiting for me to be "ready"? Adopting Bella Notte was the best thing I ever did for my emotional health. At first I felt guilt and couldn't love my pets. Time went on and there was so much playful joy in the house, I couldn't help but get caught up in it.

The hardest part is trying to remeber details about Lady. I wish I had a video of her. I am athiest, but I am trying so hard to believe in heaven. I need to see Lady again.

Now when my pets are sleeping, I find myself checking them to make sure they are breathing, even though none of them are sick. Do any of you do that? My husband thinks I am crazy.

May all of our pets live long, healthy and most importantly happy lives. We are so lucky to shares our lives with them.

I am so sorry for your pain in losing soue soue. But just remember that even though she isn't here with you in body, she will always be with you in spirit, and in your heart. I lost my dog Brandy 2 weeks ago today, and then 21 hours later i had to have my siamese cat Furball put to sleep. I thought i was having a nightmare. and wished i could wake up from it. But now i know there gone, but are no longer in any pain. I miss them so much and have there pictures everywhere. Just remember your soue soue and my Brandy and Furball are looking down on us and can't wait for the day when we will be together again.
This web site has been a lifesaver for me, i couldn't have got through the last 2 weeks without all the letters and posts from the people here. To know that there is someone else who knows what your going through, and that you can talk about your furbabies without people thinking you were crazy, cause they were only animals. There oh so much more than only animals, they were our hearts. And they'll be with us forever.
Janet.