I can't sleep. It's 3:15am and I can't sleep. My mind wandered to my poor kitty and it just made it worse. It's been since April 24th, so a month and a half since I had to put my 17.5 year old cat to sleep. I wrote on here before about her, so I won't reiterate the story.
I was getting better. I wasn't crying when I thought or spoke of her. I had some pictures up to make me smile when I saw them. I think the bad thing is that we had some kittens up at our house up north. THey were a wild litter but my mom captured some of them so we could try to tame them and give them a loving home. I want so desperately for her to keep one. But she's afraid that the smell Butterscotch left behind (she was urinating around the house in the end) will make these kittens do the same. I can't take one for myself because my boyfriend is horribly allergic. It saddens me that I may never have a cat ever again. Dogs are great, don't get me wrong, I love them too, but there is something magical about a cat. Something that you only experience when you are the one it loves.
I think I'm feeling a little guilty... I'm not trying to replace Butter... I just miss her a lot, and I want to find something to fill the pain. I know a different cat wouldn't fill her shoes. No one could... well, I guess fill her paws. ;)
I just wanted to write on here, to put down the feelings. This forum helped me before, and it helps me now...

I'm so sorry it is still hard for you. but as everyone keeps reminding me, you have to remember that Butterscotch is with you in spirit, if not in furry form right now. She is such a cute pusscat, by the way;what an excellent pic! Really makes me smile.
Today is exactly two weeks since my Ryddley crossed over and I if anything its getting worse for me every day. Don't know what will make it better. Seeing her again woudl do it, but I just gotta wait...
Ryddley and Butterscotch were the same age (although I reckon Ryddley might have been a few months older than your Butterscotch.) Perhaps they are sitting together in the sun of an afternoon, two grand old gals together. But then again, when you cross over apparently you are restored to youth and full vitality, so either way it's win-win!
I am sad you're sad. I'm sad I'm sad. I'm sad we are all sad here, but we just gotta know that we'll see our furries again and that they are around us even as we weep or sleep.
Sending a big cyberhug to you and Butterscotch
B
x

Dear Golden,

You are still very fresh in your grief over Butterscotch. The best advice I can give you is to be patient and kind with yourself...grieving over the loss of a pet is so much more difficult than many people imagine.



What a true and well put statement! Hobbie loved me more than she loved anyone or anything in this world...it really was...and still is magical.

Take care,
Kathleen

You must not ever feel guilty about wanting to love. Bless you for being able to see that out of all the grief you feel for Butterscotch.

Butterscotch taught you many things, not the least of which is that love is greater than pain. Of course Butterscotch can never ever be replaced. Wanting to love and cuddle another cat is an honor to Butterscotch.