I never thought I'd be hurting so much after losing Babooshka. She was almost 18 years old, and I thought she'd live forever. She was such a stubborn cat, and I loved her so much. I had her since she was about 2 months old. Babooshka helped me pick out which guys to date and who to end up marrying. In the last week of her life, though, she wasn't eating her dry food, she wasn't getting up to greet me when I'd get home from work, and I knew she was in pain. I took her to the vet and, while Babooshka wouldn't let her check the inside of her mouth or do any blood work, the vet suspected she had a tumor in her mouth. The hardest decision I ever made was having her put to sleep. I was with her until the end, and she was growling until then. I often feel like I made the wrong decision-maybe she would have gotten better. I just couldn't stand to see her in pain. I now have her ashes with me. There's such a big empty feeling inside of me. I just wish she was still with me.
Beth

Hi Beth I wish I could say a magic word and make everything ok for you.

We punish ourselves so bad for loving our babies and helping them out of pain, we know we are doing the right thing at the time but after the doubt and guilt at times becomes unbearable.

Rest assured that you’re beautiful Babooshka is being well tended by the Lightning Strike squad over at Rainbow Bridge and we will do our best to look after you and your broken heart.

The one and only rule is to let those tears flow as often as they need to come and as often as you can they are tears of gold and are healing that the deep rooted pain you are feeling.

It will take months and every anniversary will be torture, but I promise you one day you’ll think of something funny Babooshka did and you will laugh again.

Love Sue

I am so sorry for your loss ~ after 18 years you knew each other so well ~ what you did is a result of your hearts being connected at the soul ~ she knew it was time ~ she helped you see it ~ the love is what takes us through these things together ~ meaning we and our cherished pets ~ It hurts so deeply after nearly 20 years ~ I know ... yet as the days pass you will find a way to weather the storms of grief and find that the love finds you again this time bigger and stronger than before - your relationship does not end with this thing we know as death ~ only changes in form and substance ~ I have learned this over the past months ~ yes it is deep and lasting pain and no you will never get over it ~ we are forever changed as a result of these events that make up the mandella of our souls journey in the timeless universe as cosmic and 60's as this sounds it is true ~ we are never prepared because we live in such a material and secular world ~ It is the Love that stays ~ the love that makes the path for us to find our babies and begin to rebuild our lives with them near by yet not in the way we have been used to before...In the meantime honor your feelings - it is so sad and desolate in the valley of grief at first ~ burning a memory candle and honoring my Amber in small ways such as fresh flowers on her table and letting her ashes rest on her pillow were so helpful ~ I read poetry aloud - burned the candle - prayed - and left her music on in the room where she spent most of her time ~ each day that goes by the ability to function comes back a bit stronger - yet I never will get over her loss ~ what has happened is that I have found a way to do and have both and still be me ~ at first I was disconnected from the familiar ~ and still now there are many things that I feel so oddly about ~ yet I have begun to make the journey back into the light ~ and I have to say without this Community I would not have been this far along ~ Please remember you are not alone ~ My heart's grief song is for all who have lost a dear and trusted animal friend and soulmate ~ I bid you peace and hope you feel God as he is holding you in the hollow of His hand ~ Sincerely, Kathryn