I am having a difficult day today, and yesterday too for that matter. I don't even know what to write, except to tell all of you who care to read, that my heart is heavy and my tears are flowing. In the last 3 weeks things have gotten somewhat better and, for the most part, I am getting back to my "normal" life. Every now and again, ( and again,) all it takes is a photo or memory, or even feeding and cleaning the litter for my other 2 cats. Even filling the water bowl is tough, because he always put his feet in there, and then left a trail of "dusty" footprints across the hardwood floor of my bedroom. I used to get mad right after I'd scrub that floor and ten minutes later he would do it again. Now I can't bring myself to wash those prints away.
When he first started playing in the water, I thought he was being a Bratty cat, then after his first seizure in 1998, I began to notice that he only played in the water right before he'd have one. At least, I knew what to look for, and after that, when those feet went into that water, I knew he was sick and not being a brat. Those signs helped me to stay on top of his condition, and we avoided alot of seizures because of those signs. (Just like when he had a urinary infection, he would always go in the tub, so I could see his urine was discolored and a less than a normal amount.)
What a smart baby to trust me to see those signs, so I could get him help before he got worse. If only there were signs the last time, before he got so sick, maybe he would still be here with me now (at least for a while longer).
I miss you so much Cosmo, I tend to your grave every day, but I know that you are no longer there, but it is the one place that is yours and mine, and I feel so close to you just standing there talking to you. I hope you have found our other furbabies that have passed on before you, and that you will stay and play together until the rest of us come to join you.
I LOVE YOU BABY BOY! (Cotton socks, Mo's toes, Tiger legs, my dear sweet Rubby) and all of your precious names, I hear them all the time and in my sleep.
Mommy is doing a little better, so rest in peace my Angel Face.

My heart goes out to you - 3 weeks - 3 months - 3 decades it will never be easy ~ we LOVE ~ and in that love when lost ~ we wander in the mist ~ thankfully they stay close to us and when we can align our earthly selves with the spiritual we can be closer to each other once again ~ our pets so wise to know us so well they wait behind the veil for us to beckon them near and when we do they leap into our arms once more ~ I am so sorry for your loss of sweet Cosmo ~ we are together in our journey of grief that I hope is bringing us a gentle comfort in a place that is so unfamiliar and new ~ May Peace Be With You ~ Sincerely, Kathryn

Hi honey,

yes the tears will eventually stop, just not yet a while.

The tears are healing the hurt inside and each and every one is a tribute to your beautiful Cosmo.

I think that it was 6 to 8 months for me, not that there is a scale or anything its just those damn anniversaries.

Be kind to yourself and give yourself a hug, you deserve it and if your home then just let the tears fall, i swear the skin around my eyes aged 10 years.

Love Sue