[FONT=Optima][SIZE=7][COLOR=blue]It's late afternoon of the day I had my beautiful Golden Girl, Mandy, put to sleep. She had lymphoma and last night was a terrible night for her - slept 4 hours on pain pills, then the next round of pills did no good at all - she couldn't sleep from 3 a.m. on. Everything I do and everywhere I go inside and out bring memories and the feeling that she is still there wagging her tail to greet me! I went out to water the plants and felt so empty without her looking for me and wagging her tail at the door.

It was the best decision, and should really have been done when she had her first night of heavy panting and sleep problems on Tuesday night - today is Sunday. Pain pills seemed to help, but this was an aggressive cancer and went fast. My vet came into her office at 8:30 a.m. today, Sunday, to end Mandy's pain. I couldn't ask for better treatment and caring from them.

My feeling of regret now is that I didn't recognize earlier (Tues) that there was absolutely no hope with this cancer and end it early before she suffered anymore. I know it's hard ... but the best in the end.

I will be thinking about your baby Mandy and saying a prayer for you. This being the first day she hasn't been around, i can understand your pain. I lost my dog Brandy last Monday and my kitty Furball on Tuesday. So i am feeling twice the pain. This web site has helped me so much. To know that other people are going through what you are, and not have people tell us that it was only a cat/dog. It is great that you have such a caring vet. It's so hard to see our babies in pain. Brandy went from being a healthy active 13 year old to not being able to stand, eat or hardly even lift her head. My kitty was attacked by a dog and her pelvis was broke. Having a pet put to sleep is so hard, but we do it for them not for us.
All our Furbabies are playing together at Rainbow Bridge, waiting for the day that we will meet them there.
Janet

Janet,
Thank you for your reply. Have you seen the Candle ceremony and Rainbow Bridge site at www.petloss.com? I posted Mandy's name and lit a candle for her since she died this morning -the sight of it burning gives me comfort. Also, a friend went with me today to buy a cammelia bush to plant in her memory. It will have beautiful double white flowers and I am planting it out front where I will see it every day. Cammelias are long-lived, so it will be here quite a while. I thought that was a terrific idea she had!

Mary

Mandy's mom-

I am so sorry for your loss. I too lost my chocolate lab Lucy to lymphoma in February. It is such an awful disease and it was incredibly hard to watch her suffer in the slightest. Lucywas five when she died...I never thought she would have gotten cancer at that age but as we know...cancer does not discriminate. Mandy is grateful that you helped her out of her pain and suffering and sent her on to Rainbow Bridge. It is such a difficult choice to make, but so often, it is the right one. I am thinking of you and hoping that you are coping okay with the grief. I know how hard it is...

Take care, Caroline

I am so sorry; I also worry terribly that I should have reacted much more swiftly when Ryd started with her laboured breathing and when she stopped eating (unheard of for my porky little torty-cat) and drank so much. I think deep inside us we hope against all hope that whatever it is will just pass and that they will get over it if we don't over-react. I know I, for one, knew that vet visits distressed Ryd so much, I didnt want to put her through it unless it was completely necessary. As it turns out it WAS and I now so regret that I didn't do everything immediately and react so much quicker than I did.
I have also posted a tribute poem and lit a candle to Ryd at petloss. It gives me so much comfort, but I would love more than anything to see her little face come around the side of the couch right now as I write.
Find comfort in the fact that the cancer was fast; I know so many animals and people who suffer for so long. It was swift and brutal for you, I know, but I am glad your sweet little Mandy didn't have to suffer for long. Our furry ones are so much better than we are at 'hiding' their illnesses (we whine and protest and vocalise very quickly, which is why we stand a better chance of healing),but our little furries are stoic and brave and for that reason we often don't even know that they are sick.
Your cammelia tree is a beautiful idea and the flowers will give you happy memories for years to come.
Love and hugs to you; we all know how hard this is.
B
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