My love Chloe died exactly three weeks ago, I had her put to rest.... it hurts so badly, it just hurts so badly still. I can't believe I did that, I can't believe I could do that. I'm not God, I don't know how I had any right but I just didn't want her to suffer... what right do we have to decide something like that. I love her so much it hurts so bad and I can never get her back. But I want to always always be her home, I am determined to be. I visited her in the cemetery today and gave her roses, I hope she likes the smell, they looked so pure and innocent and lovely, just like her. I love her so much. I want her back, I would give anything to give her a happy life again, to make her happy. I'm not worth her love I know, but I love her so much.

Oh how i feel your pain. But i can also feel your love. No where not God, but God gave us these animals to love and care for. You didn't want her to suffer, and so you thought of her, not yourself. Even though your heart is breaking you did something for her, because you loved her. I know you would give anything to have her back, but just know that some day, you'll be with her again. I had to have my dog Brandy put to sleep on Monday and my cat Furball put to sleep on Tuesday. So i have twice the pain. I keep asking myself why it had to happen. But all i can think of is Brandy wanted one of her friends with her at Rainbow Bridge so she called for Furball. I will miss them till the day i die as you will with Chloe. Keep visiting her grave as it will bring you peace. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

I'm so very sorry you are feeling so bad about your little rattie Chloe.

You did everything you could for her, her time on earth was almost at an end when you made the right decision for her.. What you did was a gesture of love. You gave Chloe peace and no more pain. She was suffering so badly and only had a few hours left most probably. I know it hurts so much. But please don't ever doubt yourself, or doubt that you made the right decision.

You couldn't let her suffer any more. She was helpless and needed for her suffering to end.

Please try to think of the happy times that you and Chloe had together. She would not want you to be suffering this sort of guilt. I am sure that if she could whisper into your heart she would thank you for helping her at the time when she needed you the most.

with love
jilly

I just wanted to know how you are doing. I am so very sorry for you, you seem to be going through what so many of us are going through and if I can give you any comfort you must surely get some solace from the fact that you did what was kindest for her to eliminate suffering and you were there for her. And of course you were and are deserving of her love; it sounds like you did everything you could for her, including helping her avoid some dreadful suffering. I did not do that for my poor little Ryd and she died on the vet's table, struggling for breath as I raced up the stairs to her. You did a kind and loving thing, you really did. And she will love the roses, but she is around you, too, wherever you are. The more I talk to other people about this, the more I believe and I hope you do, too.
Hugs to you
B

I read your story about Chloe when I first came to this site. It really hit a spot in my heart as I used to have and love quite a few rats. They're such wonderfully social little creatures. I was so impressed with you and your love for Chloe. I have so much respect for you for trying so hard to help her. Unfortunately, a lot of people who own rodents don't get veterinary care for them when they need it. You did so much for your girl and she couldn't have asked for a better mom. And when you saw that she was suffering, you decided so unselfishly to free her from her pain.

I know the decision was heart-wrenching and I understand that it can feel like "playing God". You didn't do it to her though, you did it FOR her. You didn't want her to suffer and I'm sure she wanted her pain to end. You helped her to a happier, painless place. There is nothing to feel guilty about although I know it's hard not to. If you had left her to die naturally though, you would probably feel even worse right now for making her go through pain that could have been avoided.

You did the best thing for your girl. She was lucky to have you as a mom.

Thinking of you,
Tracy