This is to honor my sweet Amber tabby who I lost to end stage CRF after a valiant battle on 28 March 2005. Today is the 2 month remembrance of that saddest of days. I am at work ~ yet must pause to breathe her in again and feel the love that I last knew in the physical form as she lay across my heart for her final moments of life ~

Ambie I never wanted you to go ~ I love you so much ~ I would give everything I own just to have you back with me for one more day ~ This life is fraught with so many contradictions ~ joy and sorrow ~ healing and pain ~ renewal and despair ~ and so is this loss ~ My sweet girl I miss you more than anything ~ I could live without any material thing and not even care as long as I could have you there ~ I stretch out my arms to you ~ I weep fresh tears for you ~ I mourn once more and still for you ~ my sweet perfect girl ~ You are always here with me ~ my heart is holding you in a golden bed ~ your spirit is welcomed to my life and I am in awe of the light I feel when time can stop spinning for a while and I am able to meet your spirit with mine ~ there are endless lessons I still can learn from you and with you my Amberina ~ I am filled with so much emotion at this moment ~ I want you to know how loved you are and what a gift your presence has been to me ~ I was not always the easiest person to train ~ ironically I can see I am learning so much more now ~

I am blessed ~ I am able to feel compassion and love in greater measure than before ~ your death was not in vain ~ your trip here not without purpose ~ you touched my life and decorated my soul and I am forever grateful ~ Together we will face the rest of this life ~ I have learned to know you in a whole new way ~ My Sweetie Peetie ~ There will never be another you ~ My little Princess Girl ~

Love,

Your Student and Friend Kathryn

Kathryn, that is such a beautiful and fitting tribute to your precious Amber. I am thinking of you and your beautiful girl on this her 2 month anniversary and am glad for you that you are able to sense her spirit and connect with her. I hope that sense of connection gives you great comfort and helps to allay some of the pain you feel of not having her physical prescence with you.

with love
jilly

dearest kathryn,
what a gorgeous tribute to your beloved amber. i cried as i read it and feel such love for you. thank you for expressing yourself, your words are very healing for me, and i know for others. bless your dear soul.
my 3 month anniversary of Jupiter's death was on the 25th of May.
i haven't been coming here as much lately, it's so good to come back and *see* you.
love, susan

Thank you both for your caring and wishes of comfort for me ~

Jilly ~ I thank you for the kind words ~ the days are beginning to have more light for me ~ it is because I have had friends like you here to support and understand ~ sometimes when I could not even understand myself ~ May You Know Peace and Blessings ~ You have given both to me ~


Susan ~ aka Encouraging Angel ~ Your words continue to heal ~ over the past months I have been so lost and without a light ~ as I said above to Jilly ~ if I had not been able to receive support and understanding here ~ I would still be immobilized and frozen in time ~ With your kind assistance I have been able to find my way in the shadowed hallways of grief ~

Words cannot express ~ nor could any amount of money replace the spiritual care I have received from everyone here over the past months ~ This journey continues to be one of continued transformation and spiritual evolution ~

Sincere Appreciation to All,
Kathryn