I can't stop crying. My little manx cat Striper (SweetPea) vanished last Friday, she just quietly walked away. She is 18 years old and I've had her since she was 6 weeks old. She was very ill with kidney disease but I got her stable with diet and she seemed happy. Right now I don't know what to do, I don't have her furry little body to help me through the grieving process and I know in my brain she has gone to the rainbow bridge but my heart screams no she can't be gone. I am so lost I want to die myself but I can't because I still have her sister (Thumper) and two brothers (Taffy and Blackie)to care for and a younger one (Bean) we adopted 7 years ago. SweetPea and Thumper were my Milk moustache kitts black and white with milky marking on their mouths. I ache with grief.

My heart goes out to you. I know how hard ot must be for you. Sometimes when animals know it is their time they will just leave. I know this dosen't make it any easier on you, but maybe you can get some peace knowing that this is what your friend has done. It dosen't sound like she is the sort to just wander off and get lost. You have given her 18 years of love and that is what matters.. Peace and happiness to you..

Kerry

I cannot possibly begin to express how my heart aches for you. I have been fortunate that when my cats have gotten lost, they returned home within a few days. It sounds as though she sensed your grief at the thought of her passing and was maybe trying to spare you that. I pray that she returns, but if not I pray for your solace. Please know that no matter where we are when we pass, we find our way "home". Try to stay strong for your other babies who still need you. All of my love to you.

I am so sorry for your loss ~ 18 years is a long and wonderful time to share a life ~ how sweet she is and what a real Sweetpea ~ I know well the heart ache of loss ~ the kidney disease is insidious and unfair ~ My Amber was in a valiant battle that she lost ~ 28 March 2005 ~ If she was able to get outdoors I believe she would have wandered away as well because she knew it was time ....They are so wise and brave and have much to teach us about the dignity of life and death ~ I miss her so much ~ she was my rock in times of strife ~ not to replace my faith in God but to enhance it ~ and now since she has left me ~ I have experienced a new and somewhat mystical transformation in the way I am able to see her little soul ~ still closer than ever ~ bound up in love that will keep us together as always ~ it is becoming clearer as the days pass ~ I burn my memory candle and have learned some other ways to celebrate her earthly life and begin to understand the spiritual connection we all have one with the other ~ I hope you find comfort this day ~ Sincere Condolences, Kathryn

My heart breaks for you. Sometimes animals know the time of their death and go away to be alone. It's hard to understand when we want to comfort them and say goodbye.

My kitty disappeared nearly 4 weeks ago. He was only 7 months old and black and white, just like your picture. He was so affectionate that day, and then never came in at night. We left the door open all week, night and day, but he never came home. Although he wasn't with us for many years, like your Sweetpea, we loved him like he was our baby. I go from disbelief to just losing it sometimes...like you, not knowing what happened is pretty hard. I've thought all sorts of horrible things, to the point of having panic attacks!! But focusing on that doesn't help. I can't help our kitty now, I can only help myself and my husband to get through this grief.

What has helped us is that we adopted 2 kittens soon after. We keep hoping our baby will come home and meet his new brother and sister, but in the meantime, they make us smile and taking care of them gives us something to focus on. So you will find that taking care of your other cats will keep you going and eventually bring you some comfort. I wish there was something else I could say to comfort you. How lucky Sweetpea was to have you love her for 18 years.