I lost my ten year old long haired male tabby cat named cosmo. After spending sunday watching him look so sick and lethargic, we went to the vet first thing monday. They said he had to stay for a catheter and tests and to call on tuesday. At that time they said his blood work showed extensive numbers on his kidney funtion and the treatments would not reverse it. I had to decide on euthenasia, which broke my heart. I was there while he passed. It took 2 doses because they said he had a strong heart. overwhelming sadness hit me while I waited for his vital sighns to end. 2 days have passed and I am sick with grief........HELP ME

My deepest sympathy to you with the loss of your precious Cozmo.
How lucky he was to have you all those years and that you were able to be there with him during his final moments.
I was also with Esabella and watched as the doctor's worked so hard for hours to try to save her life. The next few weeks you will keep seeing those moments, but if you will try to concentrate on the happy times together.....this will help you get by this most difficult time. I don't go back to that period of time anymore because it is to painful and we need to keep the strength each day to go on...........and learn to live with all the joys, the fun and happy times shared together.....in those wonderful memories.
Please write and tell us about your Cosmo and post some pictures. This is so helpful and people here at LS truly care and will support you through your greiving.
With love and prayers......
~Litebrez~

I am sorry for your loss. He had a strong heart, and a brave, loving one, too. As did you. Which is why it hurts so badly. You made the right decision but it probably doesn't feel like that now. In time, you will remember Cosmo at different stages of his life, not just the final days.

My heart goes out to you.

Dee Dee

My heart goes out to you in the loss of your beloved Cosmo. I too lost a tabby cat and my grief was overwhelming. The grief you feel is an indication of the great love that you have for him.

You have taken away his pain and were with him in his last moments and for that he will be thankful. You have done right by him and now you have the pain of your own grief to deal with which I know can be so completely overwhelming in those first few days.

It is a long hard road to learn to live without our furbabies and all we can do is be very gentle with ourselves as time slowly heals the rawness of the pain. He will always remain close to you in your heart and in your memories. He was your very special precious Cosmo.

Bless dear Cosmo on his final journey

with love
jilly

I am so sorry for your loss. Believe me I can relate to your situation ~ I lost my Amber ~ a sweet and dear tabby girl to end stage CRF on 28 March 2005. It was one of the saddest days of my life because she too had the same situation ~ and we would not have been able to save her ~ at nearly 20 years young she had a wonderful life with me ~ but that will never take away the pain I feel now having to live on with out her here with me ~ The only thing that helps me is to know that I was able to ensure that her life was always one of dignity and pride within her self ~ she would have had a painful and dreadful end to her days otherwise ~ My Vet is so loving and kind and so are the others that work there ~ we all surrounded her with love ~ I will never forget the love in that room ~ It sounds like you did the same thing ~ and its true ~ at first all you can remember or see is those last moments ~ believe me you did the right thing ~ this is the most selfless act of love you could have done ~ you took away her pain and gave it to yourself ~ so that she could be free forever ~ to be a presence in your life in a new way ~ In time you will find the path back to her ~ and she is waiting patiently for you ~ when the time is right you will see that she has never left you at all but simply has shedd the earthly body ~ it is a mystical experience to open oneself to this mystery of life ~ For now honor your feelings of sadness and remember to create meaningful experiences for yourself such as burning a memory candle ~ placing fresh flowers in her favorite spot ~ play her favorite music in honor of her life as it was and a celebration of her spirit as it is and always will be ~ Most important please know you are not alone ~ stay "here" ~ continue to share your grief ~ we have all lost dear pet family members and are here for you ~ My heart goes out to you ~ Sincere Condolences, Kathryn

I am trying to post this to all of you who have sent me loving messages, in the midst of my tears it is nice to know that people like all of you here exist in this world. I can't for the life of me even begin to figure out how to move on after losing my Mo. I have 2 other cats, 2 dogs, and 14 mice and still my sadness is overshadowing them. I haven't spoken to any friends or family since he died on Tuesday, and I just sit and cry for the loss I feel. I know he is better now, but that comfort has not set in. I had to euthanize my cat "Creep" last May for a serious case of megacolon, I tried so hard to conquer for years until it got away from us. In November, I lost my pet deer mouse that I had hand raised since he was 5 days old, and he lived for 3 years and 3 months. In February I lost my Grandmother, the only one I knew, at the age of 95. So much loss in one year and now Cosmo. My heart is broken and it is hard to believe that I will ever be O.K. again. Thanks to all for your kind words and understanding and I will post pictures of my beautiful boy as soon as I can bring myself to look at them. God Bless all of you who believe and who love the furbabies God gave us.

I just lost my kitt SweetPea- Striper this past week and like you am blinded by my grief, I don't have a body to bury so it's even worse and I am in terrible shape. I wish we could all hug each other and cry together. I am going to attend the candle light ceremony on Monday to remember my sweet little manx kitt you should join me, here is the web site where you can find out about it www.petloss.com I am so lost I feel like a bottomless pit of tears

It has now been 5 days since I lost my beloved Cosmo. I barely feel like I am "here". The pain is unbearable and I keep thinking I should have tried something more, against the advice of my vets. I am so numb and deeply saddened, I can't walk through my home without breaking down in tears. I haven't been able to do all of the normal things I do in and around my house. Which included giving Cosmo medicine every morning for the last 3 years. I still feel like it is not "real", even though I buried him. I just want to hold him again and bury my face in his beautiful long fur that smelled like him. All of my friends and family around me have been returning to normal and talking to me as if I was "normal" again too. The truth is, I am not and don't know when or if I will ever be. I do not have human children only furry children, so my loss is great and I have all the time in the world to feel it. Through my tears I SCREAM, "Bring me back my 'Mo...God, Please bring me back my MO".
Love and Peace to all of you locked in your grief for your furbabies. I can't say anything to you to help you now, I pray for time for all of us, and hope that time will help to heal. All of the time in the world will not give him back, and that is what I want. I do not want to accept it, and noone can make me yet.
If you look at my avatar, you'll see just one of Cosmo's many beautiful pictures, which are now all I have left.

I LOVE YOU SWEET COSMO, MOMMY WILL NEVER BE THE SAME WITHOUT YOU, WAIT FOR ME AND I PRAY IT WILL BE SOON.

Please don't second-guess yourself. It seems to be part of grief - wondering "what if?". Kidney failure can't always be treated. It is also a horrible way to die - the poor cat gets filled with toxins. You did exactly the right thing. Cosmo wouldn't want you to punish yourself this way. You will be "normal" again, but grief takes its own time. You will heal - none of us would survive loss if we didn't heal; we would be lying in bed with the covers over our heads if we didn't have that great capacity to mend after a death.

Again, I am sorry for your loss.

dee dee