An Early Valentine

As my husband and I will be out of town for the next week, I am posting this now.

This will be my first Valentine’s Day without Trixie and I know that many of you will be facing this day without your babies for the first time in a long time, as well. I wish everyone who reads this a peaceful February 14th and a day filled with happy, cherished memories of the ones you have loved and lost.

You all have made a difference in my life and the lives of countless others, I am sure. And that is a deed to which few can lay claim. Thank You for listening, for giving advice, for commiserating, for understanding, for crying, for celebrating, and for mourning along with me and everyone else who posts here. I wish I could say all of this in person and give each and every one of you a big hug. Instead, I’m going to re-post the words that have given me so much hope and comfort from the beginning – I hope that you receive at least a little of the same…….

Peace and Love,


Kai

A parable of Immortality

by Henry Van Dyke

I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails
to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of
beauty and strength and I stand and watch until at last she hangs like a
speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come down to mingle with
each other. Then someone at my side says, "there she goes ".

Gone where? Gone from my sight...that is all. She is just as large in mast
and hull and spar as she was when she left my side and just as able to bear
her load of living freight to the place of destination. Her diminished size
is in me, not in her. And just at the moment when someone at my side says,
"there she goes", there are other eyes watching her coming and other voices
ready to take up the glad shout, "here she comes".

Kai,

Happy (early) Valentine's Day. You are right about it being the first without our loved ones. But is a double wammy for me as it is Megan's birthday as well. She would have been 6. It is going to be a hard day for me but I'm going to print your poem and keep it close by. Thanks for checking out her picture, it meant a lot to me that someone took the time to see my baby. Have a wonderful weekend with your husband and remember that Trixie is still with you, feel her hugs. I know I'll feel Megan's.

Tracey

Hi Kai and Tracey:

Kai: Have a wonderful week away and enjoy.. :-) !!! That poem is absolutely beautiful; I enjoyed it so very much and will write it out; (I don't have printer yet - Ben & I just got this computer 12/31.... we're looking into printers).
My Grandpa Jack was a fisherman, and I know my mom & her family would watch him go out to sea, and then to return.
We will see our beautiful babies again; I know that. Thank you for all you've written to me, I learn a lot (from everyone in here).... Love, Denise

Tracey:
I took a look at your beautiful Megan and what a beautiful girl... You did your best by her & I KNOW THAT SHE KNOWS THAT... I really feel that my Ernestine was suffering horribly. Now, there is no more violent retching, vomiting her stomach acids..... got to the point where she couldn't eat, only drink cold water (I imagine to soothe her poor esophagus & tummy - probably ulcered). We could have done some other "life-extending" treatments, but it wasn't fair to her, and I know, I don't want that myself.. There was no quality of life.. she had stopped eating... The vet said she was going to start "surviving on her muscle", and that wasn't good. She lost 25% of her body weight in a short time.

But, I have that last picture in my head.. Not to mention, we have driven by the vet's office probably 3x since her last day here on earth (Saturday, Feb. 7th at approx., noon, EST). Not meaning to drive by, but it's close to home and we need to drive by to get to other places.... I look & remember.

But, her Spirit, her beautiful Soul will ALWAYS BE IN MY HEART & IN MY HEAD.. She was my daughter; I'm 43 - no "human children", and we went through a lot since I got her at 6 weeks in 1984!!!!
Yes, we had a lot of years together, but the pain is the same for all of us. I fell in love with her before I even held her when she was 6 weeks.... Double pawed, toirtose-shell calico - My girl...

But, life goes on.... she is in a better place with everyone elses beloved "fur-babies" in this forum (& even those poor people who don't know this site exists).

I thank God that I found out.
It has been a life-line to others who understand and don't judge.. (Just like our babies.....)

Peace & Love, Denise