I am writing this post to ask people to no longer send me pm's of support and requests to come back and participate at this site. I will no longer be picking up or responding to pm's from this site. If anyone wants to get in touch with me, perhaps my close friends here will pass along the messages.

After this recent fiasco, I appreciated so much those of you who did pm me with your understanding and support. There are so many wonderful, caring people here. You know who you are.

While I did not intend to make this a drama, I think since it is my last post, I am going to have my say. I am not being run away by the resident bully here but am choosing to leave. I no longer wish to be a participant. This forum is no longer serving a positive purpose for me.

Unlike others here, when I state it is my last post, it truly will be my last post. It is not my intention to be rude, so if you post a positive reply to me just know that I thank you, because I won't be posting to do so. Any responses to this post are going to be ignored by me. Others, don't waste your time with yet another personal attack. I will not dignify your comments and attacks with a response.

I came here at a time in my life when losing Abby made me feel like I was ready to have my life over with as well. She meant the world to me. She was like one of my children and I loved her more then my own life. There is a hole in my soul without her. No one here has the right to question the depth of a relationship any of us have with our pets.

I and others have had a prolonged grief period. No one here knows or has the right to question why that was so. Yet a few of you feel it is your God given right to do so. Perhaps I misunderstood that this was a forum for support, encouragement and comfort. Instead, what I publically see now is criticism, demeaning and degrading attacks on others here in this forum and out right lies to further ones own agenda.

Also, no one here has the right to question my taking pictures of Abby in repose. I tried to explain to a person on this forum that those pictures brought comfort to my husband and I and while we have only looked at them twice since she died, they are a comfort to us because our last memory of her living was of her struggling for every breath she took in her last 24 hour period. The pictures of her in repose comfort us because she is at restful, peaceful, sleep and not struggling. How dare anyone to question my doing that. I would never post those pictures to any online site because they are too personal and private and additionally it would never be my intention to offend anyone or make anyone uncomfortable. NO ONE has the right to question my having them.

However, 2 blazing emails came in to me before I could get them stopped demeaning me for taking those pictures and calling me a "nutcase" and referring to Ann and I as "psycho 1 and psycho 2, a match made in heaven." The emails also were far more abusive then that. Language I found out is not allowed here, when I tried to post what had happened. Mr. Cohn, I am sorry for not having read the rules. I didn't think I'd ever have to because of the person I know myself to be.

While I do not intend to inflame this situation again, the truth has to come out. Others of you were not left unscathed in these emails either, but were referred to by name, under attack by this person as well. But, I assure you all that they are still in my email and can be sent as proof to anyone who would doubt. I sent them on to management so, Mr. Cohn knows the truth. I find it no less then convenient that my accuser has "deleted" what I supposedly called them. That person full well knows they were not called names by me so please, to you I say, in your juvenile, inadequate manner, quit grandstanding and trying to defame me publically on this forum because I find your games to be beneath everyone here, except for you.

For all of you who have been offended by what has gone on here, I am so sorry. I chose not to post and make those matters worse but after reading a post this a.m. calling Pamela (not by name but please poster, you think everyone here is so mentally deficient as to make your veiled comments in your cutesy manner and our not know who you were referring to?) "that homeless lady", I have decided this is no longer a place I can be. Pamela, I am so sorry you were attacked with such unkind, ugly words.

I chose recently to remove all my posts and all my pictures of Abby. I did that to preserve her memory from the meanness, abuse and ugliness of this forum and certain people. She was so much better then this place and those people.

Mr. Cohn, I mean you no disrespect whatsoever with this post. I admire and respect the job you do here and how difficult at times that it can be. I thank you for being here at the darkest time in my life, but for me to continue to stay keeps that dark veil over Abby's memory and I will not allow that to happen.

I wish almost all of you God Speed on your journey to recovery in your losses. Many of you have helped me so much to cope with losing the light and love of my life, my Abby, and I hope and it is my deepest prayer that I have helped some of you as well. I am not leaving because I or others have healed from our losses of our beloved babies. I am leaving so I can heal from the abuse of this place.

Yes, that was a very low blow. But it didn't hurt to bad because it showed me the depth of this man. Espically after remembering he told me he lived at home. I dont give these people any power over me, they are bullies here like there are in the grade schools of america. Pour souls.
I've got your address my friend. I will be talking to you soon. Love ya always Pamela

Dear Abby's Mommy, I could not leave the board without telling you how much you and your dear sweet little Abby mean to me. You have been so helpful and so loving to me and my sweet girls. I hope that you know how much your words of compassion have meant to me.

I know you loved and love your little girl with all your heart. We will always miss our girls who our daughters. Most everyone here understands how we feel, but some do not.

I am so sorry that so many people have been hurt so deeply and that you were one of them. Hugs. I did not know that my post titled Tears Soaked My Pillow would lead to me to post a response titled My Answer To A Hurtful Post. And then words of angry and put downs would be posted. Even though many were deleted off people still saw them and they were filled with hate and anger.

Who would know my posts would lead to many members getting hate filled hurtful e-mails, including you. Abby's Mommy and all the kind members I am sorry that careless name calling came about from others when I was just trying to post my feelings about my pain. I felt we were safe to post things and for it not to lead ugly words, but it turned out not to be so.

Terrible words spoken can never be taken back and it is a shame when people forget compassion and tenderness just to hurt someone. We have all been so broken from losing our precious babies. Thoughtless unkind words filled with filth, name calling and put downs are so needless and cause even more pain. It has no place on this board that is a place for healing and comfort and now has in my opinion been made unsafe to say what one feels.

So for that reason I too am leaving here and will continue this walk alone. How can a person stay when they might be attacked when simply posting their thoughts on how they feel. That was a low blow that was made on Pamela too. It's to bad something so good and helpful as LS could come to this where hurtful words were said.

Please know that I will think of you and Abby often and I thank you for being a kind and gentle friend to me and so many others.
Love, Ann

Dear Abby's mom-

You've been a true blessing on this site and you will be missed. Thank you for all the help and support you've given me.

I wish you the best as you continue your healing process.
Take care.
Love,
Kathleen

Dear Abby's Mommy -

I also would like to say thank you for all of the kindness you've shown me. It's really too bad the way everything turned out. I'm glad to have met you and wish you peace in your life. You deserve it.

Take care,

Love,
Lynn

Dear Abby's Mommy

I am so sorry what has happened and the distress that it has caused you. I have to admit that I have missed (thankfully) the depths of most of what has happened because I don't PM or email very much and I also missed most of the posts that were said to have been deleted. But I just wanted to say that I am so sorry that you have been caused so much pain.

I understand what you are saying about Abby's memories. I wrote the below on a post to Jim just a minute before I read your post, I'll repeat it here. I think it is similar to what you are feeling about Abby.

"I understand what you are saying, I too have a similar feeling, I think. Also for me it's a feeling of not wanting my precious and beautiful little Ellie and her memories to be anywhere other than in a place of love and peace and understanding, which is what this site has always been. I think that is what has upset me the most, because I have always thought of LS as the place where Ellie's memories had their final resting place and I don't want them (and her) to be anywhere other than somewhere beautiful, loving and peaceful."

My thoughts are with you,
with love
jilly