We lost one of our babies today. Jamie was our 11 year old American Shorthair Tabby cat. He was at one time almost 30 lbs. Jamie became ill two months ago with Chronic Kidney Failure. But just day before yesterday, his vet told us that he probably had a month at least. But he got worse during the day and left us this morning around 6:00am. Even though I have nine other kitties, my heart is breaking. I've never lost one of my babies before. As long as I am kept real busy, I'm able to handle it. But if not, like now, I just start crying again. The guilt, the denial, all of the grief stages set in, but I'll never quit missing my Jamie. What do I do? I know he's better off, all that, but knowing it doesn't help. My heart is breaking.

I'm so sorry for your loss of Jaime. I know your pain and grief is very intense right now, but it will get better in time. Allow yourself the space and the freedom to feel that pain and grief. This is a wonderful website for dealing with pet loss. We all can relate to what you're going through. All the people here will embrace you with kindness and understanding.

Take care,
Kathleen

I am sorry for the pain you are feeling over the loss of your Jamie. It is so very hard to lose our furbabies and I am still feeling my way through this grief process.
I know keeping busy helped me too but then it just creeps up on you again.
Know that you will see him again someday and that he is watching over you and wouldn't want you to be sad. You sound like a wonderful person to be taking care of all those kitties. They are all so special.

My thoughts are with you,
Kimi

I am very sorry for the loss of your precious, sweet Jamie...

I am sorry that you had to come to a pet grief site, but if you had to come to one at all......I am very
happy that you made it here - to Lightning-Strike!
Here you will receive all the love and comfort and understanding that you need,......and so much more, at this very difficult time.

There will be many, many tears --- and, they are the tears that will help to heal your broken heart!
There are sooooooooo many stages in the grieving cycle...
And, the way that all of us grieve can sometimes be so individual....

You mentioned guilt.......and, I found that to be one of the worst.....
There were so many, "I should have's..........", "Why didn't I's...........", "If only I.....spent more time, loved
you more, kissed you more, spoiled you more........."
I know..... the list is endless!

And, suffering from your broken heart.... I personally remember that the pain was soooo intense.
It was if someone was taking a long, sharp, serrated knife, and plunging it in and out of my chest.....
That heartache took my breath away!!!

Of course you will never, ever stop missing your beloved Jamie ....
That's okay.......
Jamie was a part of you, and you a part of he......

His physical body isn't here any longer........but, he is all spirit....and, he is all around you...
It's comforting to know that, I think..

But, I can with all honesty, assure you, that the pain and headaches, and heartaches, and all the
other things that you are experiencing at this time.....
WILL GET BETTER...........YOU WILL START TO FEEL BETTER......

Please, just remember that IT WILL NOT ALWAYS FEEL AS BADLY AS IT DOES RIGHT NOW!!!!



You are right............It really doesn't help.....But, your sweet Jamie is up at Rainbow's Bridge, with all
of our sweet furbabies; God's Animal Children.....
I say, "God's Animal Children".....because there are soooooo many other pets, other than the furry kind.. I don't want to leave out anyone....All of our babies matter!!

I honestly believe that our kids are up there, running through the meadows and fields, chasing butterflies...
I love knowing that THERE IS NO MORE PAIN ANYMORE FOR OUR BABIES ......
Up at Rainbow's Bridge.........
All of them have brand new little bodies.....

Is "keeping a journal", something that you might be interested in???
Writing down your feelings?
I know that's one thing that always helped me.... all through my lifetime... Going through difficult times, even going through happy times...

I know one thing is for sure.......
I stayed right here............Right here on Lightning-Strike every single day..... I kept posting and posting.........
I guess that you could say that "this website WAS MY JOURNAL"...
I was here soooooooooooooooo often...

If I didn't have this place, and all of the AMAZING, WONDERFUL PEOPLE ON IT.......
who spent the time and read my posts..........and then, took the time to write to me.....
To share with me, "how they got through it"....
I am so very, very grateful for all of the help that I received---I always will be!!

It surprised me then, that even brand new people, whose pain was as raw as mine after just having lost their furkids.........How they took the time to comfort me, even though they too, were crying....

God Bless You.........You have nine other kitties...... How are they handling it now that Jamie has gone to Rainbow's Bridge???
Please, when you feel up to it........let us all know about your sweet kitties....
I'm sure that they are all there to kiss away your tears ....
That's one thing about animals.............they know when we are sad, and they're always there to
kiss our sadness away.

Please, come to LS frequently, and let us know how you are doing..........Okay?
We all care very much, and we all understand exactly how you are feeling....

God Bless You, my new friend..

Love, Denise

My heart goes out to you for the loss of Jamie.

It is so hard to let them go. He is out of his pain now, and knowing that will come as a relief one day. He is no longer suffering.

I know all of us are here for the same reason at one time or another. Mine has just been the 1 week anniversary today, after almost 12 years.

In Muffins previous post she mentioned keeping a journal. This is something I had not done, but once Abby was gone I wrote done many of the special times we shared, funny times, and it did seem to really help. It took my mind off the final days, so I could focus more on the good times we shared thoughout her life.

I look at her picture every night before I go to bed. I was unable to even look at a picture for a few days. Now, even though the loss is still new, I can say goodnight to her.

The loss of Jamie will never be forgotten by you.

I'm so sorry for your loss of Jamie. Day to day is the only way I know of to get through it. Or hour to hour, or minute by minute. I lost a beloved kitty, too, just last weekend. Min-Min was my first loss, also. It's simply terrible. The missing is the worst part, and the yearning for the warm, furry body you loved so much to hold and pet. I know what you are going through. Even if we have our babies for over a decade, it just doesn't seem like enough, does it? I send you a big heartfelt hug.

Geraldine

I am so sorry for the loss of your precious Jamie. Death just leaves the heart so broken and it feels like a big empty hole in our hearts. It is so hard to be without them even though we know they are so much better off now that they are not sick and in pain. The pain will lessen over time but I believe we will always miss our babies. Hug all of your other wonderful kitties and bless you for being able to care for so many. Come often as we all reach out to others who are in pain just as we are. It really does help so much to be able to talk about our babies.
Ann

My heart goes out to you, and I send you so many hugs. I lost my kitty Bastian on Monday and there is not a day that goes by that I cry, ask myself what if, look for her, talk to her and miss her with every ounce of my being. This site has helped me a lot with posting and just reading other posts. You are not alone, your grief, while intense, shows how much love you had for Jamie. Cry, it helps. I have curled up on the floor and sobbed till I could not breathe, those tears do heal you. Post often here, people are incredible on this site. We understand what you are going through and you can say anything. Take care of yourself, your other kitties need you too. Hug them and love them bunches as they do you.
If you need anything, reach out, we are here. Hugs to you.

Jen

Thank you all so much for your support. I wasn't able to reply, the hurt was just too bad. It almost hurt more to share it.

I am better now than last week, but I suppose will grieve for a long time. We had Jamie cremated and scattered over the front yard, his favorite place.

I'll be back to check in. Again, thanks.

Sue

Dear Sue,

I'm glad you're feeling like you're in a better place this week than last week. You'll find with grief that it comes in cycles. You'll do fine for a while and then you'll backslide. Just remember, it's all part of the process...be patient with yourself and give yourself time.

Hugs,
Kathleen

I'm sure Jamie would love to be scattered in the yard...that is a beautiful tribute to him. He was a very handsome cat. I am sorry for your loss...Take care of yourself andtake solace in the nine other kitties who love you dearly...

Caroline