...ending this drama once and for all, let me offer a public apology to Ann and Clair. I will also try to better explain my point of view so please don't freak out until you've given everything I have to say consideration.

I am sorry for hurting your feelings and for my personal attack on Clair. You do not need to respond with your acceptance or your declination of my apology, just know that I apologize. I look forward to hearing other people's opinions on issues and unless I feel that it was deliberately meant to inflict pain or anger, such as the reply to one of my recent posts, I let it go in one ear and out the other if I don't feel the person's position has some merit. Just because I question the wisdom of the dead pet pictures issue, doesn't mean I am saying you or anyone else is wrong for doing so. It just means it is something that I question the benefits of. I think most if not all of us live in countries where freedom of expression is a right. Your post stated that you looked at the pictures and you were very sad and that you laid in bed and cried. So I suggested, not told, that perhaps it would be better to look at pictures of Snookie alive and healthy, like so many of the pictures you post on this site. It was/is simply a suggestion and one which you have the absolute right to ignore. In the post I also apologized for being so harsh, but my intent was simply to shock you into seeing that perhaps, not definitely, but perhaps, a different course of action would be more beneficial. If I didn't care about your grief, I wouldn't have posted at all. Unfortunately I offended you and chose the wrong tactics to try to get my points across. I said you were kind and caring in that post as well. I know it to be true and I know your heart is in the right place.

I always welcome anyone to disagree with something I've said or to post a different point of view. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. I don't have to agree, I only have to respect your right to have an opinion of your own. I tried to explain to another member why I posted what I did the way I did and somehow that member thought I was attacking and judging her. The response I received called me many terrible things and frankly shocked me because I had no idea what the heck this person was talking about and the only person I addressed in the whole post was you, Ann. So when I received this reply I got angry. I don't get hurt, I get angry. And I posted a reply displaying that anger. As a result, I have lost my e-mail and messaging privilages. That's ok, you make your bed and you lie in it, and I can live with the consequences of my actions. But you, Ann & Clair, are the only people I will apologize to because everything I've written over the last couple of days had to do with you and no one else on this site. If another member thinks I'm talking about them, then perhaps, not definitely, but perhaps, they have some security issues. I will never hide behind anonyminity(sp?). If I have a problem with someone or disagree with someone I will address them directly, just as I did with you.

Any or all of you are free to agree or disagree with me in regard to anything I say, just respect my right to have a difference of opinion, as I would certainly do the same for you. Ann has already said in a previous post that this issue is over, that's not a quote, just my way of putting it. Hopefully if Ann and I can do so, the rest of you can do the same.

Sincerely,
Steve

Steve, I do not think that this was drama, it was a situation where feelings were hurt and tempers flaired. Member's feelings were hurt and maybe new comers might have been driven off.

Clair had just got up after working all night and like any wonderful husband would he came to my defence. He said he forgives you for that rude uncalled for attack on him and trusts it will not happen in the future.

You said on some of your other post that were deleted that you apologized to me. But Steve, you know in your heart that saying you should not have called me a nutcase but instead should have kept it to yourself, was not an apology. But this apology sounds real and is not filled with anger. I did not know who you were the most angry at me, yourself, or the whole world.

One of the poster told me you said very hurtful things about me in an e-mail to them and how hopeless and what a waste of time I was too. I am not trying to stir up trouble I just want you to know how much words can hurt.

I can live with that kind of thing but I am sorry the others here at LS had to get hurt too. They did no wrong in coming to my defence and I love them for that. Each one was filled with compassion and that shows their love and courage. I apologize to all of you who were hurt for standing beside me. It is wonderful to realize we have all learned to love each other as a family.

I am not the kind of person who holds grudges and malice in my heart. I was not looking for pity when I made my post and Steve I think you knew that. Perhaps a few people think I post on the board to much and they get upset. Maybe they think I am out for a show of attention but that is not why I do alot of posting. I do have the time and the compassion to post back to others and I understand that is what this forum is all about. I am not reaching out to others just for myself, but I am reaching out to others from all of us here.

It really hurt that you said people post the same old drivel but Steve it does come from the heart. I have cried through many posts I have read, and all of my post have came straight from my heart. My compassion is real and none of us should be condemned for reaching out to others.

So Steve, lets stop this hurtful thing right now and go about our business of helping other people who are reaching out for help. That is what we are here for and that's what I want to do. I think reaching out to others shows the love of our babies and is what they would want us to do.

I do not want tempers to fly again but I must say that not only do people take pictures of after their fur babies pass from this world, but many families take pictures of their dead human loved ones in the casket too at funerals.

No matter how that might sound we all do what we feel we must do. It does not make anyone insane, crazy or a nutcase, some families do that for generation after generation. Everyone has the right to do as they see fit that helps them in their grief.

I did not intend to go on in great length in this post like this but somehow I felt the need to do so. I just hope we can all continue what we are here to do.
Ann

What bothers me Ann is that if I wanted you to see the impressions I had and what I thought in regards to why I made the post the way I did, I would have told you directly. I specifically made those statements in a private e-mail so as not to cause you anymore grief or anger, so that you and others would not be subjected to my opinion. Perhaps you will say that friends should tell one another if someone is talking about them. Maybe this is true. But friends should also protect one another, and I think that by repeating what I said, that member did no good other than to cause more animosity and anger. You may say there is no malice in your heart and I absolutely believe you, but you can't tell me that by your friend repeating what I said, that it didn't cause you to hurt more. I specifically did not want to cause you any more pain or anger and therefore when this person inquired about my motivation I answered her honestly. I know words can hurt and that is why I did not give a full explanation of my opinion on the board for all to see. I simply fail to see what was accomplished in having certain statements taken out of context and not even quoted correctly, passed along to you, has accomplished. I absolutely positively never used the word hopeless nor did I imply that you were hopeless. I also never stated that you were a waste of time. I may have said that I felt my time had been wasted, but to me that is far different than actually saying "Ann is a waste of time". People interpret things differently but I can say with 100% certainty that those 2 examples you listed were never written by me. I also know for a fact that I never said in either one of my deleted posts that I should have kept the "nutcase" comment to myself. I apologized for using the term and you may have inferred that I was thinking I should have kept it to myself, but I absolutely, positively never said that in the post. Again, I thank you for being big enough to put this behind us.

Sincerely,
Steve

I felt that this post might hurt the newcomers so I have taken the original post that I quoted from Steve off from this post. If they saw fit to delete it off when he posted it then I guess I will delete it too. I don't think the members should be subject to reading his fowl language and hurtful words, not only to me but to other members too. So therefore I have taken it off.

Enough people know what really went on and was said. Many saw his posts before they were deleted. All I wanted was for the truth to be known and for us to try to move on.

This whole thing should not have happened in the first place. It is a shame that many people had to get hurt on this board from the many nasty hurtful e-mails filled with filthy language and hate, that were sent to many different people just because they reached out to me.

I have been a member here since Oct. 31 , 04. I love the people here and want to help others heal and yes I do a lot of posting reaching out to others. I see nothing wrong with having compassion and using that compassion to reach out and to help others. I also am trying to heal for the loss of my 2 precious girls Snookie and my grandbaby Chili Bean who meant the world to me. I do start some topics myself to talk about my girls.

It is a shame when people complain and say you are trying to manipulate the board and the people when all you want to do is show compassion for others. After all are we not all here to help others and to be helped?

Should we not be able to say how we feel without the fear of being asked what kind of nutcase takes......... as I was asked by Steve when I made the post Tears Soaked My Pillow and that led to my post titled My Answer To A Hurtful Post.
Ann

Ann,
I have no problem saying that you are right and I was wrong in regard to keeping that comment to myself. I cannot remember word for word everything I said but please don't take an honest error on my part and try to turn it into an attempt to deceive on my part. Rereading that post now, I said that nutcase was a poor choice of words and that I should have kept it to myself. I still stand behind that statement. You interpret it differently than me. I did not say "Ann is a nutcase and I shoul've kept it to myself", what I was trying to say was that because nutcase was a poor choice of words, I shouldn't have used it. I could have just said "What kind of person..." and that is what I meant when I referenced keeping it to myself. If you've ever regretted anything you've said, then you should understand the distinction I am trying to make. As far as why you would choose to still have those comments saved, I can't answer that. As far as changing my post after you replied, please explain. All posts have the time they are posted and if they are edited that time is posted as well. I do not know which post you are referring to. In regard to not wanting to hurt you further, I don't understand what you are saying. I was referring to the e-mail I sent to another member. If I had wanted you to see that, I would have posted for all to see. You cannot dispute my motivition for keeping that private because I know what my motivations were and with all the complaints I received I could've explained my motivations to one and all by posting it publicly, but I chose not to do so with the intent as to not escalate the situation any further. You don't have to believe that but just because you don't doesn't make it true. I too am allowed to defend myself. If you have further evidence of the things I dispute I welcome you to obtain my e-mail address from the admins. and e-mail it to me. I will again be more than happy to apologize if I am mistaken about my words. There is zero benefit to continue posting snippets of deleted posts on the public forum other than to stoke the flames of this fire. I will not let this issue die feeling that there are some untruths in the information someone else provided to you. This issue is not resolved and it is made evident by the level of anger in your previous post. You, and I, cannot put this behind us as long as such anger remains on either of our parts.

ok, lets wrap this up please. i am getting too many complaints and taking too much time to appease this situation. let's move on now or i will be
forced to not play favorites (not that i have any, course) and prevent both of you from posting publicly. it is sad to consider, but will be done
if necessary. i really have no other choice.