Well its 11 months on Friday and I only just this second looked thinking id missed the 6th.

I cried on the way into work today Ive been a little tearful for a week, the snow fell and as I left the office last Wednesday I though ‘this time last year’ and cried all the way home.

Then on the way into work this morning I thought of how she would lay on my coat when I took her down the field and she would be happy looking at everyone until another dog came along then she’d struggle to get up and see them off.

One day, on a good day she was walking but around and around in circles and a man started talking to us and before we left he offered to take her to the vet thinking we just didn’t have the courage, well we did we just weren’t ready to admit it was time. So I thought of that man today and cried again and am crying now, hope I gain composure before the clients come back out.

So my dear friend Jennifer, we will always cry, we will always miss them, just some days/weeks we’ll smile and laugh instead.

It must be like losing a (human) child -- that's the only thing I can think of. I miss my grandma. The other day, I was going through some old letters and came across some that she had written to me, and it was like a little stab in the ol' ticker...

Of course, my grandmother did not dance for me every day, or snuggle up with me every night. My grandma did not depend on me (and only me) for her food and her water and her entertainment and care.

I don't know if the pain ever really stops.

Today is the 6th Sue, and I am sorry for your pain and for your loss. There's lots of Beatles stuff going on here -- perhaps they are playing them a lot there, too. I hope the songs do not trouble you too much. I hope someday you sing along...

I had a similar experience with a stranger once. I'd taken Frey out to potty and she fell down. I was out there with her. A man saw and started yelling "What is wrong with that dog????" It was accusatory, but I was not offended because he must've been a good man, worried about a strange dog that way. I was trying to gather her up and explain about her arthritis. I was trying not to curse god for doing that to my dog...

Love you,
Jennifer