Hi, I had Lily for 17 yrs. and she had a tumor for the past week and a half and my vet said she couldn't operate because of her age and she was also battling kidney disease. I felt the time was right (Sunday nite) last nite to put her to sleep because she had difficulty breathing and I remember my vet saying that when that happens, it's time to end her suffering. I went to the emergency vet because my regular vet wouldn't be around until Tuesday. I was with her during the euthanasia. I didn't think it'd be so hard on me, but it was afterall. I could tell she was scared. It took 4 attempts until the needle entered the vein. I feel bad that she had to endure that many attempts. Plus the vet didn't give her a sedative beforehand. I didn't find out until after the fact, by searching info online, that I could have requested one. But nevertheless, she passed on. I noticed her tail had fuzzed out afterwards. That worries me and makes me sad because does that mean it's a delayed reaction to her being scared? Or was that just a typical side effect or after effect of what happens to the body after euthanasia? I really need some encouragement because I don't want to think of her being traumatized for those last 2 minutes of her life, with the needle attempts and the fuzzed out tail. I can't get those images outta my head. Please, anyone, give me some feedback, comments and responses here. If any of you would prefer to email me your thoughts and replies instead, my email address is LunarPond@aol.com Thank you so much. Sincerely, Leigh

"Leigh and Lily" -- that is sweet...

Leigh-- I am so sorry for your loss. I am certain it was more traumatic for you than for Lily. We had to put our dog Freyja to sleep May 28, 2003, and she went hard. It is difficult to remove those images. Fortunately, when we put Electra cat to sleep Dec 23, she went peacefully -- although the vet did have to stick her a few times bc she was so thin, and so dehydrated it was hard to find a vein...

Still, no matter how they go, if you make the decision or not, if they go easy or hard -- everyone here it seems second guesses themselves. Tortures themselves with "What ifs" and "if only's..." I think that when you take on the responsiblity of caring for a pet, you feel responsible for everything that happens to them. When they die, that translates in to guilt, and it seems that everybody here finds something to feel guilty about...

Sometimes I wake up remembering how hard Freyja went.... even tho the vet was assuring me she was unaware... (she did have a tranquilizer first).

In any case, I am sure the fluffing of the tail was just something related to muscles stiffening as she passed. I don't think she was afraid. She was sick and hurting and you were kind enough to release her from that. Now she is at the bridge and happy and strong and healthy and playing...

Seventeen years is a long time, and you took good care of her, which is why she lived so long. I am sorry for your loss and I am sorry for your pain. Please know it does get easier with time.

Love,
Jennifer

Leigh,

I am no expert on this by any means but it seems to me the tail fluffing was most likely just a response to the muscles stiffening.

It is hard to lose your baby and more so I think when the decision is yours (I had to put my Snoops to rest 5.5 months ago). However, you (and Jennifer and I) did what we did out love and concern for the well being of our respective "kids". I spoke at length with my vet regarding the entire process (Snoops had a brain tumor and we had a number of months to discuss options ... of which euthanization was one). She assured me that the process was painless (outside of the initial needle). Your Lily went peacefully ... know this much ... she went probably more peacefully than nature would have allowed her ... Lily is probably right now at the bridge waiting patiently for you.

I hope the days start to feel a little brighter for you soon ...

hugs,
Beth

Leigh,

Don't feel bad...Lily is in a better place. Just imagine that she can breathe normally and jump and play....

I'm sorry that I can't answer the question about her tail, but today my beloved Tinker also passed away and her tail was a little bit stiff....

Hi:

My deepest condolences on your loss. You ve had a long life together. It would be a quite hard time for you right now, and i understand, we all experience very similar feelings, as we go through these unfortunate and tragic events. I felt sorrow, devastation, anger, regrets, and horrible guilt.

I notice that people chosen euthanasia expressing guilt and question themself about the right choice. I have to share with you that I regret not doing it. I tried all the possible means to save my cat: ICU, blood transfusions, steroids, hydration, but he was going quick. I was in denial, and though just my devotion, spirit and my intense strive to save him will do it, I could not give up. He passed "naturally" in my hands, I will not forget his cry, and his scare, and his violent end. Forgive me, out of ignorance, I though that euthanasia is a selfish act of people to protect themselves from their pets problems. I would give so much, just to change my choice then. So, here is experience form the other side.

I am so sorry you lost your soulmate, it is truly devestating. However, do not regret your choice.

Hello, this is Leigh again and oh my gosh you guys, thanks so much for all of these replies. There were some excellent points brought up by all of you. I totally agreed with the point Beth4275 made when you said Lily probably went more peacefully than nature would have allowed her. I didn't think of it that way. Believe it or not, I did start feeling better tonight before I got online to see if anyone responded. I kept myself very busy and cleaned the house real well. It helps to stay active and busy, I found that out. I chatted with my mom tonight and she asked how I was and I said I'm doing pretty well actually, better than last nite. She said with a smile on her face, hmm, I wonder why, because I was praying around 9p.m. tonight that you would recieve a touch from the Lord. I said what?! That's when I started feeling a little calmer! So I just thought that was awsome. Anyway, I called my vet today to tell her the news and she was sorry, but told me Lily is breathing easy now and I did the right thing. She said that tail fuzzing was absolutely normal. I felt relieved at that. She also said it usually does take a few tries of the needle, with a cat as old and skinny as Lily had gotten. Anyway, I just thought I'd post again and give some updates. I know I'll still have bad crying days and nights, but I sure do cherish this feeling of calmness I have at the moment. I want it to last. I'm very sorry for everyone else's losses too. Annette, my heart goes out to you for the way you lost your little one. I truly mean that. I want to think that Lily has made some new friends with y'alls pets by now. Hey, let's all imagine that our animals are playing together at Rainbow Bridge at this very moment...isn't that a warm thought? Sigh...well, I'll sign off for now. You guys were so sweet and I appreciate this forum so much. I think it will help when I have another crying night again and need encouragement. So thanks again everybody. Sincerely, Leigh

We all have doubts when confronted with the choice of euthanasia versus "natural death". My decision was really made when I was 17 (I'm 51 now). During high school, I worked as a vet tech. During my final weeks of employment with the vet (this incident is one of the reasons that I quit), we received a Cairn terrier (like Toto from the "Wizard of Oz"), named Debbie. Debbie was in kidney failure, and would soon die. This was absolutely the sweetest animal I have ever handled, full of love. Debbie clearly appreciated every attempt we made to give her comfort. The owners knew that Debbie was sick, but had no idea just how sick. The bottom line is, because the vet didn't care about Debbie's suffering, she died horribly (though grateful for our efforts to comfort to the end). I was furious, and quit my job there. This very painful experience changed me forever. I resolved then that should one of my pets ever have need of a vet's assistance to cross over, they would get it. Never would my friend(s) suffer needlessly.

None the less, I have felt the doubts, the questions that I might be making the decision too early, that I might be able to spend a few more days with my precious friend. At these times, there is a huge disconnect between what the mind knows and what the heart wishes.

The decision is the right one. Anyone who has ever suffered with a pet to a "natural" end knows. Your decision was far kinder, and (in fact) a generous gift.

Time will help to heal your heart. And, Lily will remember your kindness and love.

God bless you both.

Mike

Leigh,

I'm so sorry for your loss. I just lost my dog, Megan, on Jan. 8/04 and I had to make the decision that every pet owner dreads. I have a great vet who told me what to look for, for me to know that it was time. So as I started to see these signs I had to come to terms with putting her down. It was very hard but I knew that it needed to be done and that I had to find the strength and courage to do it. I felt the opposite to you, I felt that I was being selfish for keeping her knowing that she was sick. In the end I gave her my greatest gift, her freedom from her hurting body. It was very peaceful, my vet has a special room that is very cozy and we sat on the floor with her head in my lap and I just told her how much I loved her and thanked her for being part of my family. I cried, my vet cried, and even the tech cried. Although I dreaded going with her, I glad I did because my voice was the last thing she heard.

I don't cry every day now and it's slowly getting better. I have found peace and have released my guilt. I hope you can too.

Tracey