leannaschmidt
Apr 14 2005, 01:21 PM
Yesterday after having our beloved bunny put to sleep, all I could do the whole day was cry. Today I wasnt crying (up until now), but now I'm wondering to myself "Did I really give it my all?", "Did I make the euthanasia decision too soon?" I'm wracked with guilt and cant stop going back and forth from "I know I did what was best for our sweet Dora." to "God why did I do that?".
I'm sure we'd all like to go back in time and take just one more minute to tell our pet that we loved them and and that no other creature under the sun can claim that spot in your heart that they had. I've had other pets pass away, but this grief is so much more profound, I think because this experience was more personal and traumatizing. I go to sleep crying & thinking about Dora and wake up crying & thinking about her.
QorquisDad
Apr 14 2005, 02:33 PM
Hi Leanna,
What you're feeling is completely normal. The first couple weeks after Qorqui was killed, her death was the last thing on my mind at night and the first thing on it in the morning. In fact, it was about the only thing on my mind all day too. It's been a month and a half now and I'm still prone to random sobbing, although it's not a daily thing anymore.
It helpped me more than I can say just being able to come here and write about what I'm feeling, or what was going on that day. This is the only place I've ever seen where you can just say whatever you're feeling and the people, all of them, understand exactly what you mean.
I haven't experienced having to actually be there when a furkid is put to sleep, but I do know that it has to be one of the hardest things a pet owner will ever face.
There are WONDERFUL people here that have experiences similar to yours. Please stop in here often and post anything. It really does help.
Tim
Snickster
Apr 14 2005, 02:57 PM
Leanna, you're not alone in this feeling as I believe we've all felt that at least once. I was doubting our decision immediately, saying "what if....." Leanna, the only thing that would have resulted from waiting would have been longer pain for our baby. Don't beat yourself up and don't let guilt fill your head. Your bunny had faith that you'd do the right thing for her at all times and, of course, you were true to that and didn't let her down.
Peace of heart to you, hon.
Hugs,
Pat
beth4275
Apr 14 2005, 03:11 PM
Leanna,
What you are feeling is perfectly normal (at least from my experience). I always tell people when they ask when they should put their pet to sleep that you shouldn't do anything unless you are absolutely sure that it is the right thing to do because otherwise the guilt will eat at you. I had to put my Snoops to sleep 1.5 years ago and I still question the decision sometimes. I remember right after wondering if I had done it too soon or if I should have waited but I finally came to the realization that the vet would not have allowed me to do it if it wasn't the right thing to do. Your Dora trusted you to take care of her and to make sure that she would not be in anymore pain than necessary. You lived up to that trust ... believe that because just from reading your posts you can tell how much love was there.
When I start doubting my decision I always try to think of what my little man's life would have been like I had I waited. I found that this helps me to remember the reasons I made the decision I did ...
I am sorry that you are going through this ... but what others have already said, feel free to write here whatever you are feeling as most of us have already been there.
Hugs,
Beth
Rusty's Mom
Apr 14 2005, 07:38 PM
Dear Leanna,
I'm sorry you had to put your beloved Dora to sleep. Like Beth said, your vet would not have let it happen if it wasn't the right time. Dora knew you loved her and would do anything to help her.
Come here often as we all totally understand what you're going through. The people here are so kind and caring and will help you deal with your grief.
Thinking of you.
Hugs,
Lynn
Kathleen032
Apr 14 2005, 09:26 PM
Dear Leanna,
What you're feeling is perfectly normal. We all go through the "what ifs" and the "should'ves" and "could'ves." The decision you made for Dora was what you felt in your heart to be the correct. And, like Lynn and Beth said, your vet wouldn't have let it happen if the time wasn't right.
Hugs,
Kathleen
Ann H
Apr 15 2005, 12:57 AM
I am so sorry that the guilt is eating away at you. I know how that is but my guilt is that I waited to long and Snookie suffered because of it. I had taken her the week before but her vet said her time was not yet. She suffered so much and I feel it is my fault. Now all we can do is try to forgive ourseves and go on.
Ann
leannaschmidt
Apr 15 2005, 11:14 AM
TO ALL WHO REPLIED: Thank you so much for your support. Yesterday I went though an anger phase for most of the day. I kept pushing my hubby away until he finally said
"I WANT to be here for you through this. I know you miss Dora and I do too, so stop shutting me out!" That was kind of my wake up call and I finally let him in to my thoughts and feelings. Hearing him say he missed her too really helped me cuz for the whole day I was sure this was a battle I was gonna suffer alone. The one thing that does comfort me, is the fact that mine was the last face Dora saw before slipping away. It just tears out my heart to think about it, but I know Dora's where she needs to be. I gave her a life (although short) outside of the pet store and I hope she's grateful. I will have a photo of her here soon, so I can share her cuteness with all of you. Thanks again.
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