Chili Bean was our son's dog but when she fell ill to asthma he asked up to keep her full time. So we had her the last 9 months of her life. From the time she was a puppy we had her stay at our house every 12 days or so and then back 12 days to our son's house.

My husband and I housebroke her and took her with us on vacations and loved her like she was our own. She was a delightful little girl who only wanted to be cuddled and played with all the time. She and Snookie were real close friends and Gypsy Rose was with them a lot too. They all loved each other so much.

Five months ago I was sitting in the floor playing with my precious Chii Bean, Snookie, and Gypsy Rose. I told Chili Bean how happy I was that her medication was working so well. At that time she was on prednisone and also liquid albuterol which the vet said was the last treatment available. With that medication she was able to walk, play and run without coughing and gagging. Her face showed that she was so happy again to be able to play and have fun and enjoy life once again.

For six months prior to that poor Chili Bean had struggled for every breath she took her eyes buldged with each cough and gasp. So with the medication working so well we thought she would be with us for a long time to come. We were all so thrilled, happy, and so thankful that she was doing well. Chili Bean was so good taking her medicine twice a day we kept telling her it was to make her live a long life.

Anyway Chili Bean, Snookie, and Gypsy Rose were all in the floor with me as we so often were. I often crawled in the floor with them even though I am almost 52 years old. We were all playing tug of war with a huge rope toy. Snookie of course wanted my end of the rope leaving Gypsy Rose and Chili Bean to play against us. I told her she should be helping them since they were both so small and it was not fair to them.

Well needless to say I helped them too at times and left Snookie pulling against all of us for just a little bit each time we played. We played all the time, took walks together and were always together. My world was complete as long as I had Snookie and Chili Bean.

I did not know that just a couple of days later on November 11, 2004 Chili Bean would die from cancer of the upper palette in her mouth that hit some nerves in her face. It was causing her to suffocate and the vet put her to sleep as I was holding her in my arms. It was just so unexpected and my heart felt as though I had hit a brick wall at full force. It was one of the worst things I have ever had to do in my life.

Before I lost both my babies I felt like I owned the world with all love I received from those 3 wonderful babies. I was the happiest woman on the face of the earth. I felt life could not be any better or that I could never be more blessed as long as I lived.

The only thing that shadowed my world was the thought of knowing Snookie was going to die from cancer. Then to have Chili Bean die from it too when we did not even know she had cancer was devastating.

Now both my Chili Bean and Snookie has been ripped from my arms but never from my heart. The pain of losing them just 6 weeks and 3 days apart has taken it's toll on my mind and heart, and it has left my soul bruised and battered. My world is no longer the place of pure joy that it once was. Now all I can do is wait to be with them when I make Heaven my home.
Ann

I took this picture one afternoon when Chili Bean was just waking up after her nap. Just look at the content look on her little face, she was just so happy to be alive. She was always such a happy little girl and the smile on her face says it all.

I just wanted to add a picture of little Chili bean when she was just a few months old. As you can see the bag of potatoes and the dog food bag was much bigger than she was. I blocked her off while I was cooking so nothing would fall on her. It was the only time that I seperated her from us except when I was first crate trained her to learn to go potty outside. It only took her a short time to know what to do, she was so smart.
Love, Ann

Your two babies are so very special Ann. I am so sorry that you are feeling so sad today. You have been through such a lot in the last few months, yet you always give so much support others. I know the passing of Chili Bean so suddenly was such a hard thing to go through, especially being so sudden the way it was, and it must choke you up when you think of it.

The pictures are so sweet to see and the image of the tug of war with your girls is such a joyful and precious memory for you to have. Your babies must be the luckiest furbabies ever to have a mom like you, always giving them so much fun and happiness in their little lives.

My thoughts are with you dear Ann

With love
jilly

You poor dear ~ my thoughts are with you today ~ what sweet dear babies your precious ones look to be in your photos ~ I know what you mean about being so happy ~ Ambie and I used to dance at the end of each day with the joy of being together again ~ I feel your sadness ~ you are in my prayers ~ you are such a comfort to others I cannot begin to say how your words have helped me with my own grief and despair ~ bringing a light to my darkness ~ and a salve to my wounds ~ I only hope my words of thanks and caring can give you the tiniest bit of comfort this day ~ I wish for you and your babies to be wrapped in a cloud of pink and gold together to gently heal and be covered in each other's unconditional love forever and ever ~ Peace be With You ~ Kathryn

Ann,

I laughed out loud (even woke the baby up!) when I read about your games of tug-of-war....what a wonderful memory. I can just see Snookie jumping on your team against the two little ones.

I can't believe it's been five months since you lost little Chili Bean...time seems to be moving so quickly and so slowly at the same time. I just wanted to tell you that I'm thinking of you and Chili Bean today.

Take care,
Kristie

Forgot to mention the picture of Chili Bean when she was tiny......How CUTE! She was an adorable little pup...I can't believe how little she was. Thanks for sharing that picture Ann.

What a beautiful girl little Chili Bean was......

Ann, thank you for sharing memories, I love the pic of baby chili bean...so tiny and happy. One thing I do get from you is how embraced all of your furbabies are.
I heard something yesterday that referred to us as stewards and not owners. I think that is true because they are with us for to short of time.
Ann, I found some scripture that tells me that we all go to the same place, I found this while researching, body mind and the soul.... It is ECC. Chapter 3 vs 19,20. It is encourgment for me!! Food for the soul.
The soul can; die, convert, hear, experience pleasure,be purified,and receive salvation...who say's the beast of the earth have now soul!!!!! Love Pamela

Thanks so much Jilly, Kathryn, Kristie, and Pamela. Your words bring me a lot of comfort and help to soothe my soul and broken heart. I am glad so many think I have been a blessing because each one of you are a blessing to me. How in the world I would have made it through losing my girls without all of you is beyond me. I just can't thank all of you enough.

Chili Bean was such a little girl when she was a baby, her whole body fit in one hand. Even as an adult she only weighed 6 pounds tops until she had to take the steroids for her asthma. She gained around 10 pounds in 3 months while she was on them.

My dad used to stare at her and say she looked like a football. She breathed so hard and wheezed, coughed and gasped for breath that people at the vet's office would give me dirty looks. I guess they thought she was so fat it gave her the breathing problems. I told them she has asthma and the steroids were what made her so huge.

Yes, Pamela, without a doubt we will see our babies in Heaven. I believe there is a perfect thread of love that ties them to our souls. I believe that thread cannot be broken and ties them to us throughout all eternity.

God has never let me down as a child not as an adult. Yes, I have had my share of troubles and trials but He has brought me through them all. Even through the abuse as a child He kept me alive. Alive to love with all my heart and to have compassion for animals and people. Love, oh that is the key to it all, He loves what we love. I know He will not take from me that which I love so very much and not restore it again.
Love, Ann