Today my husband and I went out to eat. I was talking to the waitress who lost her Chihuahua of 10 years old just over a year ago. I told her I loved my new puppy but I did not feel the same feeling I had with Snookie or even Chili Bean. They both felt like they were part of my soul and I still don't have that feeling that Schnitzel is my all and all.

She told me she thinks I may feel a little like Schnitzel is there to replace Snookie. But she assured me that I will grow to love Schnitzel and one day that all in all feeling will be there. She said one day I will hug Schnitzel and there it will be.

I cried right there with everyone looking on and so did she. She got in the booth with me and gave me a hug and poor Clair cried too. I did not care who saw me crying they might have thought I was a crazy or something. But they can not see the pain in my heart and the longing in my soul for my little girl my darling Snookie.

Today and yesterday have been bad days for me I miss my girls so much. I wonder how time could have gone by so fast and yet sometimes so slowly. I wish I could hold my darling in my arms again. How I miss the tender love that I felt for her and for Chili Bean. I already have that feeling for Gypsy Rose that comes close to what I felt for my girls. I hope that feeling comes for my little Schnitzel.
Ann

Dear Ann,

I know these anniversary days are so very hard.

How wonderful that you and your waitress were able to comfort and support each other. I was so touched by her joining you and Clair, and the three of you crying together. If I'd been there, I wouldn't have thought you were nuts...I would've come over and joined you and started crying too.

Take care, Ann.
Love,
Kathleen

Ann,

I have favorite cats that are my little soul mates, and I have some that I love but we don't have that special bond. Just like our relationships with humans, some people are very lucky to find their soul mate in this life. Not all the people we love in this world are connected to us as our soul mates are. I believe that our soul mates are gifts to us from a higher being, and we are very fortunate to have shared our lives with them. I know that you love all your babies very much, but not all will have that very special connection. Your love will continue to grow for Schnitzel, and she will touch your heart in ways unique to her personality.

Kim

I think it is because she looks like Snookie, but she is not Snookie. In some ways I would imagine you feel like you couldn't give her that special love, because it belongs to Snookie. And Snook cannot be replaced. But as the years pass on a different kind of bond will form, you need each other. I have owned many animals too, but my bond with Moose was extra special, I will always deeply long for him.
Ann, dont expect to much from yourself, it has only been a few short months. Love, Pamela

You all have said things to me that have touched my heart you are a huge comfort to me. I don't know how I would have made it this far without all of you.

Kathleen, I would have loved for you to have joined us. We could have cried on each other's shoulders, then we could have told wonderful stories of our babies and how we loved them so much. Shela, the waitress used to go out and see Snookie every time we took her with us. She has cried many tears with me while Snookie was so ill and after she left this world too. She knows how it feels and she has 2 new babies now.

Kim, You are right my love for Schnitzel does grow everyday. Maybe when she gets out of the puppy stage she will be even more lovable. Right now she wants to chew anything she can sink her teeth into. We have to put our shoes away and anyone who lays their coat down has their pockets picked of everything that's in them. Everything had to be taken off the coffee table as she found the telephone book and books real tasty. Even toilet paper was from one end of my house to the other, gates now blocks both bathroom doors.

Sweet Pamela, I think you are right it has only been a few months and I am trying to be so strong. When what I would really like to do is cry my eyes out while I hold their pictures and just let it rip. So many people here said my girls would be sad and couldn't be happy with me so sad. So I have forced myself to try to go on. I would never want to make Snookie or Chili Bean unhappy. Everything I did in their life time was to bring as much joy to them as they did to me. I wonder if I am really causing myself extra grief by trying so hard.

I really do love Schnitzel but you are right she looks so much like Snookie. Everytime I get Schnitzel's hair cut her dark hair gets shaved off and she looks light. It is close to Snooks silver hair I loved so much. I called her my beautiful silver bomb. In the dim light it is like looking at Snookie and it causes me to want my baby back even more.

One night I awoke out of a sound sleep to a thump on the bed. With the night light on it looked like Snookie. I was still so much asleep I said something like oh theres my darling girl where have you been pumpkin pie. Come, let Mama hold you my love. I reached out and when I took her in my arms I knew it was Schnitzel. I lay there and cried my eyes out while Schnitzel licked the tears away.

Don't get me wrong I love Schnitzel but I wish my sister had let me pick my own puppy. I would have bought Miniature Schnauzer that was all black, or a Scottish Terrier, a toy poodle, a Kerry Blue, an Airedale or something like that.

Any other kind of puppy that did not resemble my darling Snookie so much. I know I should not feel that way but it keeps the pain going. Hopefully one day I will not feel that way.
Love, Ann

Dear Ann,

I am sorry you are still in such pain. I agree with Pamela, that it has only been a short time and each person needs to come to accept the loss of their beloved furbaby in their own time.

I know what you mean about feeling like you are replacing Snookie. I deliberately did not get another Scottish Terrier after Sasha died because it was too close to replacing her. Not that any dog will ever replace her - they will all be different. But I know how you feel. I love my new puppy Shelby but my relationship with her is different. I don't know her like I did Sasha as I had Sasha for almost 12 years. Maybe that is the case with you and Schnitzel. You have not had her for long enough to really get that special bond. I also think that we have some very special relationships with certain animals. Some are stronger bonds than others. We love them all, but there are some that are our soulmates. I have that with my surviving dog, Skipper. She is truly my best friend.

I think that as time goes on you will bond with Schnitzel. For now, you can just enjoy her and not be so hard on yourself. I think the rest will come in time.

Nancy