It's coming up on one month since Qorqui was killed, and I find myself reliving the day over and over. Even with Kali waiting for me at the door every day when I come home, I still feel an enormous hole in my heart. As it gets closer to the one month anniversary, it takes less and less to trigger an uncontrolable flow of tears. I imagine this is pretty normal, but it's somewhat of a suprise to me since it was getting easier each day to be without her. I suppose I should brace myself for a rollercoaster ride every anniversary. 1 month, 2 months, 6 months, 1 year, 2, 3....10.

I too have been poking around the Internet for information on what happens to our pets in the "afterlife" and have run across a book titled Cold Noses at the Pearly Gates by Gary Kurz. Has anyone read this? It claims to be based on gobs of biblical research with author interpretations on almost every passage mentioning animals.

I haven't been able to find much else about it, but what I do find is all over the place. I'm thinking about getting it, but my experience with things this widely advertised (with such little new information from place to place) is that it's usually more a way for the producer to make some money off others grief.

Tim

Dear Tim,

You're right about anniversaries...they do tend to bring back a flood of emotions. For me, 1 month was especially hard. I think it's because we go from counting weeks to counting months. I just passed Shiloh's 6 month anniversary, and the pain is starting to ease up. I still miss Shiloh more than words can describe, but I'm finding that when I think of her, I smile rather than cry.

You're in my thoughts.
Kathleen

Tim,
I've bought about 6 or 7 books so far, mostly about pet loss and grieving over the loss of pets. The best two I've found are:

Animals As Guides For The Soul -- By Susan Chernak McElroy

and

Grieving the Death of a Pet -- by Betty J. Carmack

Both of these books are very good, and I would recommend them highly to everyone. I have been wanting to get that book you mentioned, but haven't done so and haven't read any of his books. I think I read some things about Gary Kurz on the Internet though. I believe he is a minister. I think he has a website -- you might want to do a search on his name and see what you find.

Also, I posted a link to a book on this site that you can read in its entirety online -- I guess it's in the articles/resources (?) section.

Let us know how the Kurz book is if you get it. Also, I've been buying my books from the Amazon site through a link from this site, and I've been buying the used books. They are a pretty good deal.

Have you seen Nora's Mom's post on this site under "Where does the time go?" posted by bohummer? If not, check that out.

Oh, and yes, it is a real roller coaster ride. That's just the way it is, I think, for most of us. Just be patient with yourself. It's normal, and those really rough times aren't setbacks -- they are part of the grieving process.
Marcia

I typed the words "pets and the after life" and "pets and near death expeiences" into Search and came up with some interesting information. I found a good website called Pet Whispers where people share experiences of pet visitations. I also found many instances of near death experiences where the people who had "died" saw their pets running up to them in Heaven--they saw their pets before they saw their own relatives!

Hi Tim,

Thinking of you as you approach the one month anniversary of your sweet Qorqui's passing. It does get easier, you must believe that. It's a long road and a painful one but with the help of everyone here, it is bearable. When I used to think of my pal, Rusty, I could only cry. I still cry but am now able to also remember happily the things he used to do and how much joy he brought into my life. You'll be able to do the same, in time.

Lynn

The bible tell us God has a special communication with his animals. When they were loaded onto the arc Noah was told not to fear them for they were kind hearted. God communicated to them. Also when he was born the animals knew. I think they are part of us and waiting in one of the many mansions he went to prepare, that is what holds all that is precious to us. I believe that....like a hopeful child. Pamela

Hi Tim, I know how much it hurts when those months come up for the day our babies left this world. I think of you and your baby often and it just makes me feel so sad. I am sad for all of us here that are babies had to leave us. I believe with will see them again. I myself have not bought nor read any books but I know with everything within me and every breath I take that our babies are waiting for us in Heaven.
Hugs, Ann

Tim,

I am so sorry about your baby. I only thing that helped the most was time. I lost Stymy about 6 months ago but I try not to the anniversary thing because I feel he is with me every day. I don't see him or hear him but I beleive in my soul he is there.

I too have purchased several book on pet loss. If you go on amazon you can search under pet loss and you will have as many as you like. They have reviews and ratings from the people who purchase them. I found amazon to be helpful in my selection. The book I liked the most was Blessing the Bridge by Rita Reynolds.

Good luck on your search, lets us know which book you like.

Vicki (Stymy's Mom)

Anniversaries are tough. Here is the link to Amazon and the reviews - the book rated 4.5 stars. The reviews might help you decide whether the book would be useful.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detai...=books&n=507846

Dear Tim,
My Duchess died on Feb 4 & 5 days later my best friend had sent me this book Cold Noses from the pearly gates.
I found it comforting and devored the book (came @ 12.00 pm. and I finished it the next morning). However, what really helped me more, was reading and answering post's on this website. LS has really helped me in more ways that I can truly say. While this is a very good book it just did not make me feel as good as I wanted to feel at the time. Grieving is such a difficult emotion & it is different for every one of us. You have to find comfort from many different sources. I've also recently adopted a new furbaby & while I questioned myself as to wheather or not it was too soon to adopt , it has brought me great joy and has helped me to get through this tough time. Since I've also been laid off from my job for the last 4 months my new furbaby has keep me from getting into the deep hole of depression.
My advice to you is to seek comfort in any way you feel the need to. Read, write, talk about your feelings and most important, allow yourself to cry. When we do this we begin the healing process as we let ourselves -- just be.
It helped me to see my process go through the various stages by keeping a record of my thoughts. Ever since losing my precious Duchess I have keep a log of my post's & replys from this wonderful web-site. It has really helped me to get alot of things off my chest so that I could breathe again. We are all in this together & no one can understand your pain as well as all of us here. It's one of the best ways you can begin your journey through the grief process. We are all here to help each other along this long road though grief and will someday find acceptance & will be able to move on. Changed for ever but better human beings for having the previledge of having had our furbabies touch our lives. How very lucky we were to be chosen by them.
Good luck to you my friend.
We are all here for you
Bernadette
Duchess & Cocoa's Mommy

Please tell me more about "Cold Noses." My work hours have been cut and I can't afford to buy anything right now. Is the book convincing? Does it contain stories of pet visitation? I want so much to believe in its premise!

I did read the book, but did not find it to be as helpful as I'd hoped.

It focused mainly on the fact that animals are mentioned in the bible fondly, and that God cares for them too, as well as for humans. It really just quotes passages where they are mentioned.

Before buying the book I had wondered what it would be about because I was raised in a convent by catholic nuns and felt that I knew every inch of the bible, and was not quite sure what this book could possibly be saying about animals and heaven that I hadn't already realised.

In my humble opinion it didn't say anything profound. I read the book in an afternoon and the next day I gave it to my local Animal Sanctuary for their small library of animal books.

jilly