How could I have been so wrong, and yet so right about it all?

Around this time last year I felt an accute sense of dread. I was OBSESSED about Falkor's health. He has trouble with his health every summer, and every year the worry exists that this will be his last year with me. Last year the worry was much worse.

There was illness and death in the air. I noticed that the dogs had stopped playing. Falkor did not want to walk much, as his arthritis had taken a significant downturn. His other health problems were obviously taking a huge toll on him. He was totally out of it. "Isn't it something," I remarked to a friend "Luba is leaving Falkor alone, and not pestering him to play with her anymore. She must feel that he is very poorly off."

Really, there was a sense of a shadow hanging over us. I was constantly flying off the handle at my boyfriend, I could not relax. Falkor spent every day sleeping for about 90% of the day. I would say that the majority of my "doggie attention" went to him. Luba and I sat at the park after a session of playing ball, and I told her that her brother was so sick, and that we might lose him. It was unbearable.

How could I have misread the situation so much? How could I have been so right and yet so wrong?

Six weeks later Luba was dead.

Today, I have just come and sat down after an enthusiastic game with Falkor. It wasn't Luba who was being gentle with Falkor last year. It was the other way round. What threw me was that Falkor's arthritis got bad around the same time. Also, I think that he felt that she was dying and was acting all different.

I count my blessings though. I know that Falkor is on "borrowed time". Naturally, I am worried about him getting through this summer. However, I am grateful to have him with me now.

Wow Steph,
I am always amazed at the animals communication with one another. Like when that dog got that duck,,,when it was laying there the two male ducks where crying..it blew me away. and the way Gato communicated with Moose.
Before I left the house that we all lived in..(where I lost Moose) Gato had developed this ....for lack of a better word.....irritating meow, it was loud and constant...after I moved from the home where we lost Moose he stopped the sound....it is obvious he was constantly looking for Moose and I am sure he was tuned in to my pain. After we left there, we are both getting much better. We have bonded more than ever, he even goes to the beach on a leash and likes it. He is an amazing boy and I am so proud of him.
I understand about your Falkor, like you I obsess about Gato, he is 16 and starting to drink alot of water. So I worry about that. I think it is natural for us.
The buds are starting to show on the trees, spring is coming, yesterday as I was driving home, along the bay I saw a guy and his blk lab...he was throwing a stick where Moose and I used to play it,,,it just broke me down as the weather gets warm I will miss my boy even more. and now that I am living at the bay that we played there is not one time I look out the window at the water and not think of him. I close my eyes now and I can see him prancing in the sand, then smiling and barking and feeling so good.....I miss him so very much. Pamela This is Gato Manx Nelsen

Pamela, Gato is a sweetie! He looks like he's a really good buddy to you!

There is no doubt that animals communicate with each other, and they also grieve when they lose a buddy.

Last month I found a beloved ball that belonged to Luba. I figuered that after 8 and a half months Falkor might be fine with it. However, he cowered and cringed when I showed him the ball. His whole body shuddered, and I had to get one of his new toys for him to get him settled again.

Oh, I understand so well about seeing the guy with the black lab playing where you and Moose used to play. I've had that happen at the local park. A few weeks after Luba died I saw a lady there with a border collie playing ball and it felt as though a knife was ripping into my heart.

Another time, I went visiting some people up near my mother's. When I got there a young border collie came racing up to me. I just barely got my tears down under control when a SECOND border collie, an old female, came and stood next to me. I had to walk off away from the dogs. I was just a wreck.

These things don't get to me so much any more. I just feel a quiet sadness about it all.

Hi Steph,

Thought of you on my way home in the car just now........At a red light, a car pulled up next to us and inside were 2 collies. Since the weather is getting nicer here, the car windows were open and there they were - just beautiful, taking in the "soon to be Spring" air. One looked like Lassie and the other had the same coloring as your Luba. I immediately thought of you and your beloved friend.

I hope that Falkor is OK and is with you a long while. That's so sad that Falkor cringed when he saw Luba's old ball. Like Pamela said - animals are amazing. I wish more people would realize that. Pamela, Gato is handsome and looks like a very wise kitty.

Thinking of you,
Lynn

Hi Steph, I believe our babies know what is happening long before we do. Your precious Falkor knew something was wrong with Luba and became gentle and tender with her. It would cause you to believe that Falkor was the one who was going to leave this world. Oh poor Falkor cringing at Luba's ball and no doubt he had such longing to have her with him. Please give him a hug and kiss for me.

My girls acted different towards each other too I just couldn't put my finger on it. The last 9 months of Chili Bean's life she lived with us. I had Gypsy Rose over a lot (the toy poodle my daughter later gave me) and many times I have my daughter's border collie lab mix Mitzi over. I don't keep Mitzi to often because she chews everything in sight and she is 4!

Any way shortly before Chili Bean left this world they all quit wrestling with each other. They did still play ball and tug of war together. Sometimes they all would sit and stare at each other.

My husband used to say they knew Snookie was going to die. But then Chili Bean went first. I think they all knew it long before we did. When Snookie got so sick and would lay around Gypsy Rose would sit by her as if to give her strength. They loved each other so much.

Here is a picture of Gypsy Rose watching over Snookie when she was to weak to get up. She would sit for hours just looking at her the last few weeks before Snookie left this world.
Love, Ann

Hi Steph!
I have been away from the site lately, and yours was the first post that I read. I know what you mean by borrowed time. Our Shepherd Mik is hanging on and will be 14 on April 22nd. The Degenerative Myelopathy has progressed but we have him on Hydergine, the med of last resort. Thankfully there is no pain associated with this disease. We actually had made an appointment for euthanasia shortly after Xmas, but Thank God we cancelled when Mik entered another remission stage. What a roller coaster of emotions! Miss Mew has been gone almost 6 months now and for a little cat, her passing has left a huge void. Some of you may remember that a stray feral cat started showing up more and more at the time of her passing. I was not looking for a 4th cat ( Miss Mew left 3 step sisters) but it seems I have one now. It has been a long process to socialize this one, my husband still can't get close to him but he is extemely affectionate with me. Thanks to Denise, one night during a very long phone conversation, I discovered that our stray is a Norwegian Forest Cat. This would probably account for his weathering our harsh winters. Other than missing one bit of ear due to frostbite, he seems very hale and healthy. I need to get him to a vet for neutering but am waiting for him to become a bit more trusting. I don't want to set him back 6 months. And Denise, if you read this, the night after we spoke I named hin Oslo. Of course my husband calls him Ozzie. I told Roger that I would try and find a home for Oslo as he felt that 3 cats was enough, but now he says that Oslo would not be happy anywhere else. Go figure... I guess we are meant to be the Humane Society of Grand Lake.
Anyway Steph, hang in there, my thoughts are with you and Falkor. Take care.
Nicole

It is amazing to see how animals have their way of communicating with each other........

Tears came to my eyes when I read about you talking to Luba about Falkor. I remember doing the same with Esabella when Coco was diagnosed with cancer. (The lump has been removed and thank goodness no problems for two years). However, I worry everyday about Coco. She will be 16 years old in November...........and I know she is sooooooooo sad without Esabella. She will look at Esabella's favorite toy.........and walk away. It is heartbreaking. They are just like us in greiving.............I do everything I can to make her happy and feel special. I wonder if their sadness ever ends.

Here is a picture of Coco.

Take care Steph......

Hugs..

Litebrez


LMYE

What beautiful pictures of Cocoa on the beach and Gypsy Rose watching over little Snookie................ How can some people not view animals as we do? They're awesome and capable of so much love.

Lynn

Wow, Litebrez, that is a beautiful shot of Cocoa! I'm glad that she is hanging in there just like Falkor is.

Nicole, I'm glad your Mik is doing ok too. His birthday is around the same time Luba's was. Her's was April 29th.

Ann, what a heartbreaking photo of Gypsy Rose's vigil over her little buddy. Her eyes really get to me.

Lynn, I am very happy that you are thinking of my girl. I just want to let you know that she wasn't a collie like a "Lassie collie". Her breed was a border collie, and they have a differnet look and temperament to collies. Although, from my avatar shot, I can see how you could totally see a "lassie dog" in her. Border collies are sheep dogs. I don't know if you ever saw the movie Babe, but the "Ma" dog was a border collie, and actually really reminded me a lot of Luba. Regardless, thank you for thinking of her. Whether it's in reference to a collie, border collie, or whatever, I am happy that my girl is alive in people's thoughts!

Hi Steph,

I did know that Luba was a Border Collie.............Although the dogs in the car next to me were regular Collies, the one with the black/tan coloring just reminded me so much of Luba.

Lynn

Lynn, that's neat that the collie looked like Luba!

I saw a dog the other day that really reminded me of her, but it was some kind of mixed breed.

Here is a neat little distinguishing feature Luba had: a white patch just a bit off centre on the tip of her nose. The vet always teased us that Luba had been playing in the paint. It was so cute! Somehow the avatar doesn't do it justice! LOL

And what idiot ever says that animals have no emotions, memories, etc???? I read that so much that I just find if comical now. Only those who don't have animals would ever assume that. If they only know what WE know and... we know this because it's proven to us every day by our little fuzzy babies.