Lately I have had an onslaught of problems with my 8 cats. You name it, we've had it.
However, in the past few weeks the first cat I raised as diagnosed with kidney disease and early renal failure. The cat who raised ME died of that in a heartbreaking episode.
Frosty is doing okay, but my life is filled with worry. In another post I wrote about my rabbit's sudden death. And then there is Garfield, I've had him since November. He's 4 years old and was just diagnosed with heart disease. He almost didn't make it through his vet trip. Now he has 2 meds. 3 times a day but he's not responding well. The vet told me I could either find him dead of a heart attack someday, or he could have a severe heart cough(he has light ones 3 times a day) and slowly cough himself to death.
Now a weird question:
When my first cat died I was like 13, and I cried. Crying is a problem because my face turns bright red! Now I'm facing euthanasia in the coming year(Frosty has 1 year to live) and I'm pretty worried. Crying is the least of my worries, but how do you all stay strong at the vet clinic? Even when just hearing bad news?
Thanks for any ideas.

I am so sorry you are having problems with some of your other sweet babies. I know how hard it is and how much fear there is when another one becomes ill.

As far as the crying and having a red tear streaked face, nose, and spotted lips. I will tell you what someone once told me when I was a young woman in my 20's and was embarrassed of crying. The person told me that to them it was the most beautiful sight they had ever seen, for it told them my heart was full of love and compassion. They told me never to be ashamed to let my feelings show. That the tears did not mean you were weak but that you had a heart of gold. Whenever I have not been able to hold back the tears in a public place I think of her words.

In answer to your question on how you stay stong at the vets. I didn't stay strong at the vet's when I heard the news that my darling Snookie was going to die. I tried to hold the tears in but she was my very heartbeat and I didn't want to face that she would not live. I stood there and I cried my eyes out as I listened to what all was wrong with her. Cancer had taken over her body and she had cushings disease. Later she developed diabetes and I had to give her insulin shots.

I ran my baby around from vet to vet taking her test results and blood work and all kinds of things with me to each different vet. Plus we had more test done, I was wanting to hear that she was not going to die and something could be done for her.

Every vet visit left me with tears streaming down my face. I did not care what I looked like all I know is I wanted my baby to live. For over 10 months Snookie fought for her life until she passed away at home in my arms.

Prior to that Chili Bean had to be put to sleep and it was so unexpected. I stood there telling her over and over how sorry I was and how much I loved her. I could not contain the tears as I held my baby while the vet ended her pain. The tears freely ran down my face and they splashed on to the vet's hand. He did not draw his hand away he had tears in his eyes.

As I left the room I did not care that my nose and eyes were red, and that I must have looked like a crazy woman. Sobs wracked my body and moans came out. I did not care what the other people thought as I left the place. All I knew was that my little girl was gone. She would not be going home alive.

They told me I was now to drive around to the back door to pick up her little body. I got in my car unable to move for I could not see through my tears. Once I had Chili Bean in the car with me I sit there for a long time before I could drive. Making the 80 mile drive home with her in the car was the longest trip of my life. I cried most of the way home I had to pull over often.

I did not have control over the tears or the loud sounds and sobs that came out of my mouth. They were sounds and tears that came from my broken heart and soul. They all spoke of the love that filled every fiber of my being and I was not ashamed nor embarrassed.
Ann

I'm sorry that you and your babies are going through such tough times right now.

I can't offer any advice on "staying strong" at the vets (or in public for that matter) but I can tell you that my experience at the clinic was like Ann's. I'm not one to burst into tears at the drop of a hat but when I lost Kasha I cried like I never have before. We took her to an emergency clinic fairly late at night (I couldn't make her wait until the morning as she was bleeding from so many places at once) and I cried the entire time. I'm not talking sniffles here either...I flat out bawled in front of a dozen strangers, vet techs, secretaries....you name it. One thing that has strangely burned itself in my memory is the image of tear drops falling onto the credit card reciept she gave me to sign before Kasha was put down.

When I cry my face also goes very red (my nose even redder) and my eyes become instantly blood-shot and puffy. You can tell that I have cried for DAYS afterwards....not a pretty sight but I didn't care, the vet didn't care, and the other people there looked like the understood what I was going through.

Don't worry about how you should react....just go with what you feel at the time. I wasn't worried about Kash seeing me upset because she was the one who always comforted me. I think she felt happy to have the chance to make me feel better one more time before she went.

I hope very much that you do not have to face this situation any time soon (or ever for that matter.....) but in dealing with news, good or bad, just go with what you feel....always.

My Best to you,
Kristie

Hi!

I am sorry to hear that you and your babies are having hard times.....

You have really received such wonderful personal advice from Ann & Kristie..... I'm sure there's not much that I can
add that they haven't already shared with you.

Staying strong at the vet's office??? My honest opinion is.....there is no reason whatsoever to feel that you have to "stay strong".....

And, that certainly goes for "just hearing bad news"; Bad news of any kind.....
Hearing bad news is difficult to take, and....it's just that..."bad news"...

When I hear news that our furkitties are ill, (Ms. Lucy or Mr. Yoster), I start feeling sick to my stomach, and my
heart also hurts...... Depending on what the illness is, if it's serious, my eyes will immediately fill with tears, and I
get a lump in my throat ---- My feelings will automatically come out, in the form of tears.

With regard to crying, it makes no difference AT ALL where I happen to be.
(My face gets all red too, and my neck-----there's NO CONTROLLING THAT....)

But, you don't have to stay strong at the vet's office. There aren't any rules. I know that our veterinarian "feels" for his patients, and he certainly doesn't expect Ben or myself, (or the parent's of any of his patient's), to "be strong" when he gives us bad news.

We love our babies, and it's natural when we hear that they are ill (no matter what the illness is), we ARE going to feel sad.....and, depending on "what the bad news is/and, the DEGREE of the bad news", will most likely determine just how sad we are going to feel.

I'm sorry that your baby Garfield has been diagnosed with heart disease, and it does make it even harder when he's so young.. I know that you said he almost didn't make it through his vet trip ........ having to go through that with Garfield was (I am sure), extremely traumatic & sad to go through...

And, you have to give him medication 3 times a day, but you said that he's not really responding very well. Are there any other options/alternative therapies that you could ask your vet about???
Or, sometimes another opinion with another veterinarian is a good idea, if that's possible.

Is there some reason that you feel you need to stay strong when you are at the veterinarian's office?? Has somebody
ever made you feel that you need to be strong when you hear bad news?

On February 7, 2004, when Ben and I decided that "it was time" for our sweet Ernestine to be put to sleep... Like any
very fortunate parent's of a sweet furbaby..........IT'S HARD TO GO THROUGH!!!! We don't have any human children, so
our furkids ARE our children.

Many, many tears were shed that day in February at the vet's office.... From the moment we exited our car, the tears
fell freely from both Ben and I.
They were tears that couldn't be stopped, hidden, etc.....
And, they were very, very necessary tears, we believe...

And, WHENEVER/WHEREVER I felt that I was starting to cry............I just let the tears fall.
In the car driving, in the grocery store, in the bank.....
I was grieving---------My heart hurt... There was a big, big hole in my heart!
And, it is very much okay to cry!!

My face was RED, my eyes were soooooooooo red & puffy that they were almost closed, my skin would get all red & blotchy....
I couldn't hide.......And, I didn't want to hide...

In the early days, nothing much made sense to me AT ALL.....
I was just "going through the motions......actually, I was like a zombie"...

One day, while on the site..........I received a post from a very wise, wonderful member..... (to this day, I cannot
remember who she was.......but, TO HER I WILL FOREVER BE GRATEFUL!!!!)

She wrote to me.............
"Denise, when you had Ernestine put to sleep, you took on HER pain, so that she could be without pain..

Finally, something made sense to me, and I can say NOW............Really, from that point on, my tears became almost
non-existent...

But, on that day, Ernie went to a much better and beautiful place called "Rainbow's Bridge".......
(I learned about Rainbow's Bridge here)..

No more horrible, horrible pain & suffering for our precious girl...
Euthanasia was the last loving thing that Ben and I could do for our sweet baby girl....
It was a GIFT that Ben and I could do for her --- Because of our deep love and devotion to her!!!



I took that quote from Ann's last paragraph in her post to you...
She said those words perfectly, and I too share her feelings.

I feel as though I have rambled quite a bit, but, in closing........I do hope that you will feel there is no reason in the world to 'stay strong when you hear bad news at the vet clinic'.....
Feel your feelings....

God Bless You.

Love, Denise

Hi,

I'm so sorry about what you are facing!

As the others said, don't worry about staying strong. And if for some reason you can't cry when you think you should be crying, try not to worry about that either. Some days I have felt as though I should be crying but they were blocked. ...It's all part of the process.

We're here for you.

Sending love and prayers,

Kathy

Thanks for the insightful posts everybody! to answer Denise, I would love to get a second opinion, but I wouldn't be able to let him go through all that, and I'm afraid he would need more traumatic "stuff" done there. He's too weak. Also, I don't like to cry in front of my vet, because we have kind of known eachother for a while and she was a part of the reason why I left the Humane Society.

P.S. Does anyone know how people have fluid removed from around their heart, or if steroids for his lungs would be safe? ( better ask the vet huh. )
As for Frosty, has anyone here had a pet go through an organ transplant? What do you think about it?

Thanks for all your advice.

I just read your original post and I'm so sorry you're going through all this.

I don't know about the fluid around the heart or pet transplants. Have you tried doing Internet research? When Shiloh was diagnosed with lymphoma, the Internet was were I got all my information. Now my cat, Calvin, has been diagnosed with hyperthyroidism...once again I'm doing lots of Internet research.

You're in my thoughts.
Kathleen