I have just lit a candle for my Sammy. I have decided to have my own little ritual every week so he knows he's never forgotten. Also I am listening to the song "I Believe" by Diamond Rio. If you have never heard it I recommend it. It makes me cry and comforts at the same time. It's fits perfectly for the loss of my baby.

I know my baby is somewhere where he can run to his hearts content. And one day I'll be there to run along side him. It's strange how the concept of death was always frightening for me, but now that Sammy is waiting for me I know I will not be afraid. But I hope he's patient because it'll be awhile hopefully until I see him. I am not patient but I have no choice.

The guilt is the worst part. I still lay awake at night going over all the what ifs and shoulda,woulda, coulda's.

Okay gonna go for now...crying way too hard.

I am thinking of your and your precious Sammy. You just let those tears flow. I remember it so well when I was at the 2 week mark after I lost both my Snookie and Chili Bean. Seems like I cried even more tears then than I did in the beginning.

I guess after 2 weeks the numbness wears off and reality sits in that they just wont be coming home. Indeed guilt is hard to deal with and knowing we can do nothing to change things seems to make guilt even stronger.

You are so right there is nothing to be afraid of death any longer since it means we will be with our babies. Until then they will run and play and are content as they wait for us. Then what a day it will be when they run into our arms.

I am going to roll on the ground with my little girls, hugging, kissing, holding them, and speaking words of love to them once again. With great joy and laughter I will gaze into their eyes knowing I will never have to part from them again. For now all we can do is hold on, the best is yet to come!
Love, Ann

I remember also the 2nd week...well kind of...alot of it has become a blank.....like Ann just said the numbness starts to wear off and you get faced with the day to day with out them. Honestly I became non functional I let every thing go, l lost my job at the same time I lost Moose. It has been 5 months for me and I am just starting to feel like myself again. I have been like a ping pong ball bouncing but not knowing where I was going to land. When Moose left I became very alone..I mean in the sence there can be several people around but I am still alone. My Moose replaced so many things in my life, filled so many voids that I have had a hard time putting the pieces of my life back together. I wish I could speed up time sometimes to feel better but..... Pamela

Dear Sammy's Mom,

I don't think I responded to your first post about Sammy, so I want to say how sorry I am for your loss of Sammy.

I know the first few weeks are the hardest...my thoughts are with you. I think it's a nice idea to have a weekly ceremony to honor Sammy's memory. I'm not familiar with "I Believe," but Diamond Rio's song "One More Day" is a song that always brings tears to my eyes.

Take care,
Kathleen

Dear Sammy's Mom -

My sympathy to you on the loss of your precious Sammy. I don't believe I responded to your original post, either. He was such a cute dog.

Your candle ritual sounds like a perfect way to honor his memory. Week 2 is very difficult as the reality of the loss sets in. Hang in there and things will get better.

Thinking of you,

Hugs,
Lynn

Sammy's mommy,

I think the candle lighting ceremony is a beautiful way for you to remember your Sammy. I do it for Lucy every Friday night in remeberance. For some reason, I take great comfort in knowing that she is not forgotten (not that she ever could be). It is nice that this website is here too so that all of our loved ones live on in one way or another. Take care...the 2 week mark is hard, and for me, it was really hard around the 3-4 week time. I am not sure why it seemed harder, but it did. Talk care of youself...

Caroline

The picture of Sammy is gorgous!

So beautiful........

The two week mourning is still so fresh in your heart and mind. Your still saying, this is just a bad dream and soon I will wake up...........only to reality...........and more tears. I haven't been able to find a quick way out of this sadness and probabely.......never will. We create such a beautiful, loving bond with our furbabies and that bond will live forever. However. with the passing of time, you move to a different level in finding peace of some sort.

My heart goes out to you with kind thoughts and well wishes.

Litebrez

Sammy was just so beautiful!

I love that song, "I Believe," too. I think I posted the words or maybe a link to it somewhere on this site awhile back.

Please try not to keep feeling guilty. We all do it, some of us more than others. I still do it sometimes -- it hurts so much, I know.

I've posted this before too, but it sounds like you need to hear it now. This is from Sammy to his mommy:

Please Don't Feel Guilty
Please don't feel guilty. You don't need to. I don't want you to be rough on yourself. I heard you speak last night. I heard you say how guilty you are for what you think you didn't do right. You did more than I ever would have expected anyone to. You loved me through it all. I never doubted your love for me. Whatever decisions you made, I know were made with my best interest in mind. Please don't feel guilty. It breaks my heart to hear you speak of your guilt. You don't need to feel guilty. Please don't. I LOVE YOU MOMMY! -- Sammy
--Betty J. Carmack
From Grieving the Death of a Pet