I went to the SPCA looking for a puppy. I got an angel instead. Those huge knowing eyes staring out at me from behind the metal cage begged to be loved as no other did. She survived the mean streets of New Orleans, then parvovirus (which she had contracted at the shelter), mange, coccidia, and kennel cough. And that was all in the first three months of her life. She was the sweetest, most loyal, loving dog I'll ever have the privilage of sharing my life with. I was only graced with her presence for a mere eight years, but even a hundred years wouldn't have been enough. We had a connection, a bond that formed between us from the day I brought her home and introduced her into the family. She sensed when I was sad, when I was mad, and even when I was coming home from work. It didn't matter what time of day, if I came home five hours early, she would know and would be waiting by the window as I turned down the street. And when she died this morning, she was in the hospital across the lake, I was at home getting ready to go see her, and I knew. I knew she had passed. We beat the parvovirus, but couldn't beat the cancers that ravaged her liver and pancreas. She was the sweetest, most beautiful girl that God ever put on this planet and she is already sorely missed by Mom, Grandma, Grandpa, her four legged sisters and brother, and everyone whose life she touched. To my Nik-Nik, my Nicker-do, my Nicker-doodle-dandy, I love you so much. You can never be replaced. You will remain in my heart forever and ever. I just can't see how I can go on without you in my life. I can't bear to think of another day without those bright eyes looking up at me and that broad smile making my day worthwhile. What I wouldn't give to scratch behind those little rose ears again or to take you out back for a quick game of fetch. Kasha misses you terribly, she's going out into the yard and looking all over for you. Misha walks the halls meowing in mourning. And then your human family just cries and cries and cries. I love you, I love you, I love you. You were my baby, my light, my heart. Now my light has been extinguished and my heart has been ripped from my chest. I adore you and I miss you more than words can say. "If tears could build a staircase and heartache make a lane, I'd walk the path to Heaven to bring you back again."

I am so sorry you lost your precious angel Nik-Nik. She was a beautiful girl and I know that no matter the length of time we are blessed with them it could never be enough time. Just let those tears fall they are for healing and to help you make it through. My little Snookie's eyes pierced right through my heart and soul too so I know how much beauty the eyes hold. Please come and tell us more about your little girl. You should make a post in the death and dying section for more responses. I hate to say it but not a lot of people come to this section.
Ann

I'm so sorry that you lost your beloved angel friend Nikki. She was a beauty.

My baby died at the vets too. She was barely nine years old. Like you, I felt that she had passed, even though at the time I denied it. It was a strange feeling. I was in utter denial, but for a moment, I paused at the window and said "Little Dog, if this is your time, go in peace." Then I went back into full-on panic/denial.

That was over nine months ago. If I can offer any consolation is that the pain lessens. It doens't go away (not yet for me anyways). Not a day goes by where I don't think of her, but the ripping hole in the heart gets better. Yes, it does feel as though a light has been dimmed forever.

I am sorry you lost your special Nik-Nik. You gave nik-nik a wonderful life after she was found wandering the streets. Nik-Nik is now free from the body that was causing so much pain. Believe in the fact that she is still with you in spirit.

Kim

Bless your heart for caring so much!!! People like you encourage me!!! I had my Moose for about 9 yrs also, he had been rolled by a car and some kids gave him to me. Even with all Niki went through your Love covered it all. Pamela

Nik-Nik was the luckiest doggy in the world to have such a wonderful loving devoted parent person.
She is such a beautiful girl, with such loving eyes ... your lose must be agonising. The bonds we have with our furbabies is so all encompassing that when they have to leave us it is like tearing out our hearts.
I cried when I read what you had written about her. No words can comfort you I know, but only to say that her pain is over now, and she is well and restored again and playing happily at rainbows bridge until the time comes for you to meet again.
I thought I would die of a broken heart when my Ellie died. My heart was completely broken.
I came to this site where there were others going through the same thing. It helped so much to know that other people knew what I was feeling.

Bless your beautiful Nik-Nik

jilly

Thank you all so much for your loving words and support. It's been three days without my Nik and it seems like an eternity. I found myself sitting at my desk at work today staring at her picture (in her Supergirl Halloween costume) and crying all day. I tried to tell myself that Nik wouldn't want that...she was so in tune to my feelings. Whenever I would be upset or crying, she would come up and gently nudge my hand or put her head in my lap trying to comfort me. It always worked. She was certainly an angel. It does help to know that there are others out there who know how I feel. I feel blessed to have had Nik in my life and I know I'll see her again at the Bridge someday.

Wow. It's been a while since I've been here and I've been through so much since then... Hurricane Katrina put us out of our house for a month, but we're back now and things are returning to some sort of semi-normalcy. I was sitting at my desk today at work and it hit me that it's been 8 and 1/2 months since Nik passed. I cried all the way home again (and it's an hour and a half drive). I was thinking about her and realizing that this will be my first Christmas without her since her death. I was putting up my other babies' stockings and ran across hers...I didn't know what to do with it. I wanted so badly to hang it on the fireplace mantel, but then didn't know if I could handle the pain of seeing it everyday and knowing that she's gone. My husband asked me today what I want for Christmas....all I want is my girl back. Just a little more time with my sweet Nik. I miss you, Nik, and I love you now as much as ever. Merry Chirstmas, baby.