It's been almost 48 hrs since my baby was hit by a car...the first 24 was definitely the hardest. Everytime I did something or looked at the clock I would think "he was here at this time yesterday when I did this." My other 3 babies are doing better...they are eating a bit and are cuddling with each other a lot. They never used to really do that, and I'm glad to see they aren't going to fight amongst themselves now that Sammy is gone.

I wanted to say thank you to Ann and Martina...your words helped me tremendously. I saw one of Martina's posts about 2 dogs she lost young. That is a large part of my sadness. Sammy was about 3 years old...he had so much life left. I had only had him since last June. It amazes me how you can grow to love something so much in such a short time. I had to get out of the house for a day or so...decided to stay at mom's. It was just too hard being there alone. I kept thinking I couldn't bear being there at 5:30 a.m. because that was what time Sammy's body was found. So I woke my poor mother up at 4:30 in the morning and told her me and the pups were coming over. Thank God for my mother. She has also lost a beloved baby to a sudden death. Her pomeranian Turner went outside to "do his business" and had a stroke..he lived for a little while after but not long. He was hooked up to tubes in this plastic box It tore my mother up to see her baby suffer. I never really understood the depth of her grief until now. One of the few comforts I have is that I don't believe Sammy suffered. His little neck was broken so I'm pretty sure it was instantaneous.

I just wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone on this site and to the person(s) who created it. It means so much to me that in the wee hours of the morning when I can't sleep that I have somewhere to come and talk about my little angel. Sammy will be so happy that his momma loved him enough to tell the world about him.

I just hope there's lots of rawhide chews where he is (he loved those and chewed the squares down into perfect circles). I hope there's a lap for him to curl up in...he was so loving. I hope no one plays with his ears..he hates that. And of course I hope there's a bathtub for him to curl up next too (and drink water out of...silly dog)...and I hope they lay a towel on the floor next to the tub for him to curl up on...he gets cold on tile.

Well I guess that's all for the moment. I just really miss him. But I know that he will always be with me and that not even death can keep us apart. I love you Sam.

I'm sure your mom didn't mind one bit being woke up early in the morning. I have 4 grown children myself and they always call me or come over when they have problems. I feel honored that they still need me and want me to share in their lives like they do.

I am so glad that your other babies are eating now. Maybe they will be ok even though they still may be sad for a while. I am sorry about your mom's little boy too. I guess until it happens to someone they just can't understand how painful it is.

When I lost my girls, well one was my son's chihuahua I felt as though I had lost my children. We lost them so close together and we didn't know that Chili Bean had cancer so it was a shock to all of us. My little girl was ill for over 10 months and for most of that time I kept telling myself this just cannot be. Both hit us so hard but we were blessed to have them for so long.

You just let those tears flow for your little Sammy. The are for cleansing and for healing. Don't even try to hold them in. Just hold on you will get through this and the pain will lessen with time. Sammy is waiting in a perfect place where he is very happy.
Hugs, Ann

Oh I am sorry to hear about Sammy, I lost my Moose in the same way, I think my first post here said that my worst fear had come true for I had worked hard to protect all of my animals from that possibility. In my case I got distracted Moose wandered, he was hit, it messed his back up real bad and the next day he was put to sleep. It was searing, and I did'nt know what to do so I came to this site and lived on it basically, life was real hard for awhile but it gets a little easier with time. It is a wonderful thing that Love is not measured in minutes or hours, days or years you love them deeply and it hurts bad when they are gone. You are in the beginning stages of grief, I would say to you to keep coming here and posting and sharing it has helped me so much Pamela

It's now been 1 week since I lost my little boy. It's so hard to think about the fact that so much pain can come in so short a time. Thank you so much to everyone who has given their advice and kind words over the past week.

The guilt I think is the worst part still. I mean I know that it was beyond my control. That it was an accident and no one was a fault. But I still can't help thinking just 5 minutes....if he had gotten out just 5 minutes earlier or later...or even 1 minute...he may still be alive. I'll get through this I know. Time has a way of healing like no other medicine can. My heart just hurts so much.

I went out and sat by his little grave and told him I loved and missed him...and that I was sorry if I let him down. I try and picture the good times and not the final time I saw him...broken and battered. But every time I close my eyes the latter is what I see.

Sammy you were a fantastic dog...the best I've ever owned. (even if you did shred entire rolls of paper towels) I know that wherever you are you are looking down on me and watching over me and the rest of your family.

I was listening to the radio and this old Cloin Raye song came on and the chorus made me start crying immedeately. I know it's not in any way related to pets, but it somehow fit for me. The words are:

"If you get there before I do,
Don't give up on me.
I'll meet you when my chores are through,
I don't know how long I'll be.
But I'm not gonna let you down,
Darlin' wait and see.
And between now and then when I see you again I'll be loving you,
Love me."

I've heard that song for several years and those words never really had any meaning for me until now.

I've also been having lots of bad dreams. I don't know if that happens to everyone. I wake up from one nightmare and seem to go straight back to sleep into another one. But last night I had a dream that made me feel a bit better. I was at my Grandmother's hous at Christmas time (she died in Dec. 2003...3 days after Christmas). Sammy was there and I picked him up and held him and petted him. When I woke up I was crying. But it also gave me a bit of hope that Sammy is safe and happy and with someone who will watch over and take care of him. I also know we'll be reunited again one day.

Okay I guess I have rambled on long enough. Thank you to everyone who allows me to share my grief so completely. There is really nowhere else that I feel I can fully unburden myself. Again...thanks.

Kristen

Hi Kristen,

Our babies died the same way on the same day.

I know what you mean about the guilt. It's starting to set in for me too. I know there was nothing I could have done, but all the "if only'" scenarios keep playing in my mind... If only I hadn't gone to work. If only I had gone home at lunch time. If only...

Qorqui was only a year and a half old when she died. The joy and peace I felt with that puppy was like nothing I've ever known. I know we were meant to be together, if even for such a short time. I'm sure this was true for you and Sammy too. I can see no other reason they would burrow so deeply into our hearts so quickly.

I know we'll get through this. I know our babies are safe and happy now. Sammy and Qorqui probably went through "new puppy orientation" in the same group.

This forum is a good place. It's helped me already. Keep stopping in and you will feel less pain as you share or just read.

Tim