Hello everyone

This is not my first time here, unfortunetly. But I knew that this is the place to come for some comfort. Just this past October and December I lost two members of my little cat family. I had to move in with my mom due to an unexpected pregnancy and had to place all four of my cats in different homes. My mom has five of her own and couldn't take on anymore. I placed three of them in a foster home, and one in a permanent home

The three I put in the foster home untill I got them back all came down with distemper. Booger was the first, and we did not know that it was distemper, his death was a mystery until both my Henry and Ruby both got it. Ruby pulled through it, but my Henry did not. Henry was my little soulmate kitty. He was truly one of a kind. Someone had dumped him at a park when I found him. He was six months old. He had to suck on my finger until he fell asleep, it was something he would never outgrow. He was a major lap cat, and talked to me like he was always giving a speach. When he would sit on my lap he would look up at me like he was saying... man I love you. He would even be so bold as to take his paw and move my chin down to look at him if I was not giving him any attention. The problem I am having is that I haven't grieved over him or Booger, because I am pregnant. I am afraid that I will stress out the baby. And I am also afraid of the post pardom, because I feel like after my baby arrives that I can finally grieve for them, but I don't want to become too depressed! I loved that cat like no other cat I have ever had, and I wanted my baby Noah to grow up with him, he would have been such a great cat for a little kid. I feel horribly guilty for thier deaths, because It did not ocur to me to get thier shots updated before putting them in that foster home.

I came to this website six years ago when my cat Jasper fell out my 6th story window followed by my cat Jack three months later. I still have nightmares about my cats on window ledges. I have taken every possible step to keep my pets safe, but they always seem to die horrible deaths, and I am tired of it!!! I truly am sick of loosing my pets.

Well, thank you for taking the time to read this and I hope someone can offer me some advice, especially someone who was pregnant or is that is, or has gone through the same thing as myself.

Thank you!

Christina

Hi Christina, I am so sorry for the loss of all your sweet fur kitties. That is such a terrible thing that happened to them all. I guess although you are afraid to get upset grieving is not something you can put on hold. You are bound to be sad and upset regardless of whether you want to or not. Maybe you should talk to your doctor with any concerns you may have. Henry sounds like he was a very special baby. I am just so sorry.
Ann

Christina,

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my old girl, Kasha, at the end of October and it turned my life upside down. I had my first baby at the end of August and Kasha fell ill about two weeks before my son was born. I remember trying not to get too "worked up" about Kasha not feeling well because I didn't want to stress the baby but she was my little lady of 15 years and it was impossible not to feel anxiety over her health. Once my son was born Kasha got worse and, once again, I attempted not to let myself get too overwhelmed as my baby was born with severe colic and reflux and cried (screamed really) every second he was awake. I didn't want to cause him anymore stress than he was already going through and to tell you the truth I couldn't take much more myself. When Kasha died I didn't really get a chance to grieve for her (even though I was very VERY sad) because the baby held most of my attention during the day (and night!). I spent a good deal of time crying on the couch with my little one in my arms screaming away for hours on end but I never really knew if it was just the frustration of not knowing what was wrong with my son and not being able to help him or if it was Kash I was crying for....probably both. I really didn't feel "at peace" with Kasha's death until months later when life settled down and I had time to think (you have no idea how much I appreciate silence these days.....

I guess my point is that you shouldn't feel bad about the baby taking priority for the time being. Your health and the baby's health is very important right now and let me tell you, in the womb or out babies can feel mom's stress. Now, don't get me wrong...I'm not saying that you should ignore your feelings because that isn't healthy either but when you feel sad try not to lose yourself to it. I tried to find one thing every day to think about that made me happy and would then spend every ounce of that happiness on my son.

Ann had good advice, talk to your doctor about your concerns...they may have some good ideas for you or will at the very least give you some peace of mind regarding the baby's stress levels.

Best of luck to you and your new little one (to be)
Kristie

christina, i'm so sorry to hear your unfortunate losses of your cats. henry sure sounds like a character! i have never been pregnant but what kristie has suggested sounds like good advice. of course you don't want to stress the baby by grieving over your pets, but you don't want to ignore your sadness because that isn't health either. i would try to think of good things about your cats. you don't want to forget them of course and you don't want to lose control by excessively grieving, so think happy thoughts about them until it is safe to do otherwise. just a suggestion. again, i'm sorry, ah