Well, it has been a little over two weeks since Lucy passed away and I had a hard weekend. We went away with the kids this weekend to a beachtown and lots of people had their dogs. I kept thinking, "Lucy would have loved this," or "next time, we should bring Lucy...oh wait, there is no next time for Lucy." Sometimes it just hits me like a big wave, and I'm at the bottom again. We had so many adventures and places to go together.

We got Lucy's ashes back last Wednesday. I can't believe her remains fit into such a small box. She was a big dog...in more ways than one. Big in heart, kindness, love, generosity and spirit. I miss her so much. The house is still so quiet, so empty. My heart feels heavy, and very empty. I miss you LuLu.

Caroline

Dear Caroline,
I wondered how you was doing. I know what you mean about your heart feeling so sad and empty. I'm sure seeing the other people with their dogs made you feel even more sad. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have my puppy Schnitzel to ease the pain. Often I think Snookie would have liked to go here or there or do this or that. It's just so hard when they are not there to go with us anymore. I guess most of us are amazed at how small the ashes of our babies are. I know I did as well as the rest of my family.
Love, Ann

Oh Caroline, I'm so sorry you lost your beautiful Lucy. I know what you mean about the sadness of seeing other people with their dogs. They have NO idea how lucky they are....just like us at wonderful time not so long ago. Yes, suddenly the world is filled with dogs like never before. And so many *old* dogs, I'm noticing. Every time I see an old dog my heart sinks for the poor old dog and the hapless owner...."how long before you're in my shoes, you poor things!" I think.

I hope you start feeling better soon. Hang in there. Keep going.

Susan

Oh Caroline,
I hear the sadness in your post. I feel so badly and wish there was something I could say. I am at a similar spot in the grieving process as you are. Today marks the 3 wk anniversary of my last seeing my precious Clay, and then getting that dreadful call at work to hurry home. The memory and pain isnt as new and raw as it was. Sometimes I actually feel "ok" but then ,like you said, it hits in waves. I have another thought or memory, or put another guilt trip on myself, and back down I go. My house doesnt seem quite as empty since we adopted a 9 yr old kitty one wk ago, but of course she doesnt replace my boy Clay. But she is very special in her own right, and I am coming to love her. Sometimes I feel angry when I see other people laughing and happy, with their pets and families, and they dont even realize how lucky they are. And when I see people get irritated at the least little thing, I get annoyed. What difference does it make if they got a rip in a new coat or someone cut you off in traffic. It just doesnt matter. What matters is relationships. And they are so very fragile and fleeting. That is what is not replaceable. That is what matters. Well, I must go as I am at work now, but I wanted you to know I am thinking of you, and I hope you have a better week than you had for a weekend. I totally can empathize. Like you, often I find myself thinking how Clay wouldve loved this or that, and knowing that chapter in our lives is over, way, way too soon. Take care, Caroline. Thinking of you, Susie (Clay's Mom)

Dear Caroline,
My heart goes out to you. You lost your dear Lucy the same weekend I lost Winston, & I know what you mean about the wave thing. Some days I feel ok, & then I think about all the things he won't have a chance to enjoy again.
And Susie, that was so true about what you said about relationships. This life is so short, & the death of our furbabies really brings home what is important in life.
Caroline, big hugs to you. I know you miss your Lucy terribly.
Much love,
Elsie