Our 12-yr old poodle, DJ, is in renal failure. Our vet is a very compassionate person. She knew exactly how to handle me when she gave me the news that I already suspected. She let me cry and she soothed me. DJ is getting a long as good as can be expected considering his condition. We, my husband and I, are trying to be as calm as we can be for DJ for however long he may be with us. We want his last days to not be worrying about us and how we are. We know what to be aware of if we have to make that awful decision to euthanize but we are hoping he will go on his own....he has a bad heart and the x-rays show that his heart is enlarged. My beloved furkitty, Fuzzball, died last June.....eight months ago...... and now we're going to lose our DJ. It's going to be really hard on us us especially me because I've been with him all the time ( my husband is an over the road truck driver). My heart is already breaking into a million peices and I've already been crying tons of tears when I'm not near DJ. Husband is coping pretty well more then what I am or will. We're letting DJ eat whatever he will and when he will even if it's not good for him.
I'm having a lot of different thoughts and feelings about all of this. I've read here about the good and bad euthanasia experiences and it's left me with the fear of it.


Wanda

Dear Wanda,
I'm glad you found your way to LS.
I am so sorry that DJ is so ill.
I lost my beloived Australian Terrier almost 9 weeks ago. He was 10 years old and suffered from
chronic disease too. In the last weeks of his life we gave him anything he wanted to eat.
(he was diabetic and I often had to adjust his insulin based on the foods he ate.)
He loved vanilla ice cream and that is what he ate for his last meal.
It sounds as if your vet is caring and compassionate and will guide you through the decision-making process for euthanasia.
I had a wonderful vet who helped me and my family deal with this dificult experience.
In the meantime, the family here at LS is wonderful.
Come here often, keep us posted on DJ, and share your feelings.
We are all here for one another.
Hugs to you,
Fran

Oh Wanda, I am so sorry that you lost Fuzzball and LittleOne and now you are about to lose DJ. I know how broken your heart must feel at this time. The more babies we have in our lives the more we have to love. But we also have more babies to lose and have our hearts broken over. I don't know which was harder losing Chili Bean unexpectedly, or losing Snookie after she fought to live for over 10 months. Both were hard.

I would let your little DJ eat whatever he wanted to eat too. Did the vet say how long he might have? Is he in a lot of pain now? Is DJ on medications and is he getting fluids. What all does the vet say, how long do they expect him to live? Come and tell us all about it. You have always been a comfort to me in my loss. Let me hold your hand now as I try to comfort you.
Love, Ann

Thank you both for your kind words.
Ann-The vet said she cannot tell us how long DJ may have and of course we are cherishing every minute we have with him. He now goes everywhere with us and I mean everywhere because we have the fear that he may pass and we not be there with him. The Dr wanted to keep DJ but I said no that we want him home with the ones that love him and the ones that he loves if he should pass. He is getting fluid injections and we are continuing his lasix but in a smaller dosage and he is taking his heart pill to. DJ isn't in any pain and the Dr has assured us that he isn't. The Dr put him on different food that he will eat at times and of course we are letting him have whatever food he wants and will eat. My husband is on vacation until the 27th and this gives him time with DJ and perhaps be here if DJ should pass or if we have to make that awful decision. It's hard on hubby because he isn't home but on weekends. It's harder on me because I am the one that is here all the time. I am having a very hard time with all of this. My kids had a birthday dinner for me Sat evening and DJ greeted each family member when they came in and then he went and laid down in his favorite spot by his daddy. I know what DJ was doing and so did the family. My heart is breaking into a million pieces.

Wanda

Hi Wanda,
I'm sorry you're going through this with your sweet poodle DJ. I lost my 15 year old cat to chronic renal failure; we treated him at home with fluids, special diet, vitamin supplements, etc. for 7 months after his diagnois. I had prayed that the good Lord would take him when it was his time but that was not the Lord's plan, we had to have him PTS. This may sound lame, it did to me when people said it, but you will know when its time to help him cross over if he doesn't go on his own. My Pootie let me know. It was the worst day of my life but looking back now, and its only been a little over a month ago, I can see it was the greatest gift I could give him, to set him free of his discomfort. My Vet told me kidney failure was very common in older animals, both cats and dogs.

I do not know which is worse, having a cherished furbaby to go quietly and unexpectedly at home or having to live with the knowledge that one is terminally ill. I have been through both and the pain is the same.

I am so sorry that your heart is breaking in a million pieces, I know exactly what you mean. I have cried every day since last June. Please know that you are not alone, there are great people here to talk to. It has helped me a lot to know there are others like me who love their animal friends like I do. My family members do not share in the bond that I feel with all animals and they don't want to hear me talk about my grief any more, they think I should be over it. I don't think people who truly love their animal friends, like the people in this group, ever get over it. Please keep posting and get your emotions out, I hope it helps you like it has me to know you are not alone in your grief and sorrow.
Take care,
Beth

Wanda,

I am sorry about your little guy. He has been your company for a long time while your husband has been on the road. You may still have him for sometime to come. But I'm sure as Ann can tell you, you will grieve from this time forward. I know the journey you must take now is going to be a hard one. You can only go along. Pray a lot for strength and believe you will receive it. Pamela

I am so sorry. It is so tough to know that you are sharing your last times with your beloved DJ. I agree that you will know when it is time. I knew when my little glutton quit eating and his fur started to fall out that he was dying and it was time to help him accomplish that. It is heartbreaking when you know that you have weeks or months left. If he starts to be in pain, you will do the right thing.

Even with some of the bad euthanasia experiences some of the people on this board have had, it was suffering for a finite amount of time, not like dying for months of a painful condition. Even the people who had a good experience with euthanasia felt guilt after. Guilt and mourning seem to go hand in hand, no matter how good you were to the person or pet who has gone.

You are in my prayers.

Dee Dee

Wanda,

I am so sorry about your furkitty and now DJ. We all know that going numb, going on auto pilot, going cold feeling of grief and fear.

What I want to tell you is this. I read your post that what you have read here and other places about euthanasia has left you with a fear of it. Honey, we know- we do.

But, I want you to know that my DH and I have now had to put to sleep 4 of our furbabies - and every single one has been very peaceful and went very smoothly - thank God (and I mean that).

It sounds like you have a good vet - you do trust her, right? If so, trust that she will do all she can to make DJs passing very peaceful.

IF you decide you need to go this route - make sure you tell your vet you want DJ anesthetized before hand - it helps them to go to sleep. Once the injection is given by your vet, they're passing is very quick and very peaceful.

Corky (our beagle we had to put to sleep last Friday) snored 3 times and then he was gone.

Honey, I'm crying as I type this - for you, not for me. It's such a horrible, horrible decision we have to make for our babies. But, I knew with each one of ours that their time had come and the ONLY thing I could do at that point to help them was to make their passing a little easier. Corky was dying on Friday - whether my DH and I made the decision to help him along or left him to do it on his own - he was dying. There was nothing I could do to deny that or stop it. So, we made the decision.

I'm sorry - didn't mean to ramble. I just want you to know we face that fear of a botched euthanasia - but I also wanted you to know that in 4 times now, that has NOT happened with us.

God bless you and DJ.

Jan

Thanks, everyone. Your words mean so much. I believe I am ready to let DJ go but my husband, Dave, isn't ready. It's hard for him to comprehend what is happening to DJ and he has hope that DJ is going to get better. The decision to help DJ isn't an easy one and it is a very hard decision. The Dr and I know what DJ's prognois is and it's not going to get any better for DJ. She has talked to Dave but he refuses to believe that DJ is slowly leaving us. Now they're talking about dialyis-I know that's not spelled right-and maybe even a kidney transplant and I am wondering where would the money come from for that. We don't have that kind of money. DJ has a bad heart as it is and I'd be afraid to let them do anything like that. I feel either way he is going to die. Right now Dave is grasping at whatever is said to him. I don't even know why they would even tell us what they did-it was a different Dr yesterday. If DJ is ever stablized I will be giving him his fluid injections here at home. I really do feel we'll be helping DJ to leave us.

Wanda

Wanda,

Thinking of you and your husband. We're all here for you.

Hugs,
Lynn

I am sorry that the vet may have given your husband false hope. Did Dave ask if anything else could be done or did the vet just tell him something like that? With a bad heart I am surprised the she would suggest such a thing.

Sometimes when the money just is not there we must face the fact there is nothing further we can do. I know it hurts but when there is no other choice we have to help them over to the Rainbow Bridge when their time comes.

Maybe your husband just needs a little more to come to grips with DJ's failing health. I fought a long hard battle in my mind about what to do about Snookie when she got so bad. I laid in the floor with her and put her on my chest. I hugged her and promised her I would help her out of her pain the next day. Her beautiful eyes told me she was ready and there was no doubt in my mind. I told her I loved her more than anything in this whole world. I told her I knew she would do it for me if she could. But my darling Snookie went on her own in my arms that day. So I know what a battle your husband is fighting.
Love, Ann

wanda - i'm so sorry about your precious DJ. i know what you are going through - my kitty had chronic renal failure and a heart tumor - crf is what took her. having an animal that you love with all your heart euthanized is such a hard decision. everyone says that you will know when the time comes - i didn't. my kitty was so sick, she wouldn't eat, she was on 4 different medications, and i was giving her subcutaneous fluids at home. i thought that she would get better, i know lots of people with pets that had crf that recovered. when she could no longer walk i decided that it was time - then i panicked. i drove 20 miles to the vet just to make sure that there was absolutely nothing else that could be done. they confirmed my worst fear and i spent one last night with her. it is so hard to see our babies when they are in such bad health. DJ sounds like a doll and i hope that you will continue to post and keep us updated on DJ, yourself and your husband. be strong, ah