Jameel was my 24 year old Arab/T-bred horse. I've had her since the day she was born. Yesterday I made the hardest decision of my life and that was to euthanise her. She had colicked the night before and had twisted her large intestine. This meant that without surgery, she would die because she couldn't pass solid waste. At the time of taking her to the vet, we did not realize the severity of her condition. The vet kept her overnight and gave us postings throughout the night. At 10:00am he called to tell me that she was getting worse and that he was having a hard time keeping her comfortable. I so wanted to tell him to do the surgery, but who was I doing it for? Jameel or myself? I decided that I couldn't put her through that surgery at her age only to watch her suffer more. It hasn't even been 24 hours and I miss her so much. I keep asking myself, "Did I do the right thing?" I can't seem to stop crying. Everywhere I look or go, I am reminded of her. I went out to feed tonight and stood waiting for her to come around the corner of the barn until I realized that she was never going to again. I feel so lost and lonely. I feel as if I'll never get over this.

I am so sorry that your sweet horse Jameel had a twisted intestine and had to be put to sleep. Most of us question as to whether we did the right thing. You are not alone in your grief we are here to help each other. Oh how we know about the tears and pain of missing our babies. It sounds as though she was well up there in age. Come and talk often it really does help.
Ann

I am so sorry for your loss.
I do think you did the right thing.
Euthanizing an animal to prevent their pain and suffering is the greatest gift of love
we can give. I know, I euthanized my sick little dog, Indy.
Like you, I was heartbroken...I still am and its been 9 weeks or so.
You've had Jameel for a long time and your grief is brand new.
As time passes, it does get easier, though some days are harder then others.
I am glad you found LS. People who post here have helped me through some of my toughest days.
I am sure we can support you through yours.
Thinking of you during this time of sadness.
Fran

I would love to see a photo of Jameel. I was a horse person. I had a beautiful Morgan. I was forced to sell him
because of divorce and not being able to keep up the cost. In fact, to ease my pain of losing Bob, I purchased my little Indy whos pic you see in my avitar.

cwgrlsrck - I am so sorry you had to make the hardest decision to let Jameel pass on. We know this pain. I know right now it feels as if you will not get through this and I'm NOT belittling your grief and your pain at all - I just want to assure you, it WILL get better.

Do not push yourself to "get over it" and don't let anyone else push you to do that either. Jameel is still a huge part of your life and she always will be.

In my case, we put our first dog to sleep on 1/4/99 and I've never completely lost the grief. But, in time, it does get easier to bear and live with.

I'm so sorry.

I am so sorry about Jameel. I know it is a hard decision, but I think you were right to let her go. I had to do the same for my dog, Sasha who had cancer. It has been two weeks and I still feel very sad. I am glad you had so many great years with her.

I am sorry about the pain - I do know how you feel. I am thinking of you in your time of loss.

Nancy (Sasha's Mom)

Hi there. I am terribly sorry for your loss. Only you know if you made the right decision - you knew your horse and her health at age 24 and what she could endure. Definitely, absolutely what you did was better than letting her die from colic. I will be following your thread closely because I hope you will feel like sharing more with us of your story and struggle, and also just to tell us all about Jameel. What a long and wonderful relationship you had! I bet you two have had your share of adventures!

I own a 3/4 Arabian horse named Fantasia. I've had her since she was 5 and now she's 22, fit as a fiddle, and the loveliest thing -- all curves and sass. I always thought that she will be one of those horses that lives beyond age 40. But I thought my 14 year old 20 lb. dog was the type that will live to age 20, but cancer took him this past December when he was otherwise sooo healthy. Just yesterday I noticed a growth on Taish's underside behind her udder. I can't help but think the worst. I have to entertain thoughts of cancer in her, and inevitable euthanasia, and I worry what to expect. Please share with us your experience if you feel up to it. I know writing about my experience with Punky's euthanasia was extraordinarily painful but also cleansing.

I haven't seen many posts made by horse owners. Again I am so sorry this happened to you. This is a great site that you have found, full of some of the warmest people I've ever known.

-Punky's Mommy

P.S. Post some pics of her!!