Hi,
I lost my beloved Clay, a Maine coon cat mix, only 2 yrs old, killed by a predator in our backyard, on Feb 1st. We adopted him at 9 mos so we only had him a short time. I loved him with all my heart. He was unique in so many ways. I felt all the emotions, from guilt to sadness to deep grief. He was one quarter of my family, since it consisted of me,my husband, and our 2 cats. Feb 1st was one of the worst days of my life. Now, instead of wanting to hurry home from work, I didnt want to go home. It was too quiet and lonely there. There were too many memories. His toys were everywhere. Everything I did had a memory associating Clay with it. He was a real character, and "helped" me do everything from making dinner to watching tv with me in the evening.
I had heard that its not a good idea to get a new pet right away usually, but its an individual thing, and everyone is different. In years past, when I had lost pets, I had waited 1-3 months before seeking another one. I just felt so sad inside, and empty, and was sad seeing my Sophie cat look out the window, and just lie around the house in a depressed state. I felt guilty when I first checked out a shelter near my home online. I secretly prayed to Clay, asking for his understanding, that I was so sad, and I knew he wouldnt want me that way, and that he wasnt that quickly replaced or forgotten about, but maybe there was another kitty out there that needed a home and some love, just waiting to be found. I spent several days looking online, and each time I would feel less shaky and guilty about it. I wondered if it was too soon to visit the shelter, and if I could handle my emotions once I got there. I thought I would try. My husband joined me.
Well, I was kind of shaky when I got there, and it took alot of courage to walk in the cat room past all the cages. At one point I broke down in tears for a moment, just wishing I didnt have to do this, that if only I had my Clay back, that he was the perfect pal, and I was angry. But then a little kitty with fluffy calico fur, with some coon cat mix in her, caught my eye. She was 9 yrs old, and I thought about her age and how anyone adopting her would be going through the grieving process sooner, probably, than if they adopted a younger cat. But I also wondered how many people had walked by her cage thinking she was too old to adopt. I wondered how many times people went for the kittens and young cats instead of giving her a chance. I asked to have some one-on-one time with her in a quiet room and after that, there was no turning back. We brought her home yesterday, and at first she was very shy and timid. So far she and Sophie are just looking at each other from afar. I hope they will be company for each other, if not playmates, although she does seem pretty spry for her age. By bedtime she was coming out of her shell. During the night she roamed around, and even woke me up in the night, knocking something off a table. (Oh well!). And she got in bed with me for 5 minutes, and purred, and accepted my pats. She is a beautiful loving cat and I love her and I think she is helping me in the healing process. I am still grieving my loss of Clayton. No kitty will ever take his place, but having someone new to love and to take care of, and to love me back, is giving me a reason to go home at night once again. Clay, whereever you are, I miss you baby boy. I love you and wish you were back here in my arms. But I cant bring you back and I know you would want your Mom to be happy again. I'm a long way from happy, but Im going to be okay. You always are a part of me, and in my heart. No new kitty will change that, or can one replace you ever. Susie (Clay's Mom)

susie, i think it's great that you adopted another cat and that she is helping you so much. and how sweet of you to adopt an older cat. it's sad, but you are probably right about people not wanting her for her age. i'm sure she has a lot of love to give and i'm glad that you are the one that she is giving it to. of course no one will ever replace your precious clay and i'm sure he would be very glad to see that his mommy is happy and is making another cat happy. i'm sorry that you lost clay, especially when it wasn't his time to go, however, i am glad that you found one another and spent the time that you did together.
what did you name your new cat? i hope she and sophie warm up to each other. best of luck to you. ah

Dear Susie, I am so thrilled to hear you were able to take in a new baby. It sounds like you love her so much already, she will have a wondeful home I am sure. It sounds like a love story in the making. I am so glad there are people like you and others here who are willing to take in an older fur babies to love. I'm sure many people had passed her by because of her age. Many would only choose the very young whether they are adopting a fur baby or a human child.

Your story brought to life the thing that I feared as a little helpless, unwanted, unloved, child. You see I came from an abusive home and was put in a home for unwanted children. I had just turned 8 years old, all the older children told me I could forget ever being adopted. The kids said no one wanted older kids that everyone wanted babies. They told me I would be living there until I was 18 and after that they kicked you out to fend for yourself.

But I was blessed!! Four months after I was sent to the home I was choosen by a wonderful couple. They took me home and adopted me a year later. My precious mom said I was everything she always wanted in a daughter and more. I lost mom 8 years ago, she was the most wonderful woman upon the face of the earth. Now she, Snookie, and Chili Bean are angels in Heaven. I have no fear of leaving this world when my time comes for I will be with them. God bless wonderful people who still can see the beauty in the older babies.
Ann

Dear Susie, I really think that's truly wonderful that you felt the time was right to get another cat, & she sounds absolutely lovely. Some cats, especially older ones I might have thought, can take a while to get used to new surroundings & new people, but it looks like she took to you straight away if she felt happy enough to get into your bed for a short while & have a little purr (my remaining cat Basil likes nothing better than getting under the covers & nestling up to me with his head on my arm). And it is nice that you chose an older cat. As you say, the younger ones tend to have more of a chance of being chosen. After I lost Winston a week & half ago, who was an 8 yr old stray when he appeared 4 yrs ago, I felt the urge to go down the cat's home & choose an older cat, just to give them a chance of a loving home like Winston had in the autumn of his life, but I wouldn't do it while Basil's still around as he loves having me just to himself. What happened to Clay was so very sad & unfair, poor little furkitty, but as you say he will always be a part of you & in your heart, & it sounds like fate has brought you & this new little one together, & that's a lovely thing.

Ann - that's a really touching story! Again, it sounds like maybe fate had a hand in bringing you & your dear mother together. I'm so glad you found eachother. I'm no psychologist, but it could be that your early experiences of feeling unloved helped to go towards the strong love & empathy I know you have towards precious furbabies.

Much love,
Elsie

Dear Susie,

Happy to hear that you've adopted an older cat. She won't replace your Clay but hopefully in time she and Sophie will become buddies.

When we first got married, my husband and I adopted an older poodle-mix from the shelter. We only had her 5 years before we had to have her put to sleep. We took comfort in the fact that those years with Molly were very happy for her and for us. We doubted also that anyone else would have adopted an older dog. You did a very nice thing, bringing another kitty into your home, so soon after losing your precious Clayton.

Thinking of you.

Lynn

Dear Susie,

I think that is just wonderful! You are such a special person to have adopted an older cat.
I confess that when I was trying to adopt a furdog after Rachael passed, I came across a beautiful older yellow lab girl. She needed a home and was much older than I know people are willing to adopt (10 years old). It was just so soon after losing Rachael, that I found myself guilty of backing away too. However, I try to forgive myself because I know it wasn't because of her age, or that I knew she wouldn't have many years left. It was because my heart was SO shattered that I didn't think I could go through that pain again so soon. I promised myself that maybe in another year or two, I am going to adopt an older furdog and give him/her the very best years left that I can.

Cheri

Susie- I am so happy that you you found it in your heart to adopt another little one. I think Clay would be very proud of you and happy that you are sharing your love with another little one.
I have also been looking through shelter websites even though I know I am not ready for another dog just yet. I also have 2 really small children (1 and 3 yrs) and part of me thinks I should wait until my youngest is just a bit older. I don't know. The house feels so empty right now. We really miss having a dog around the house. I know it is Lucy that we miss having around the house, but I know that is not possible. I am also interested more in an older dog this time. We got Lucy as a puppy but for some reason, I guess the hard work of having two young kids, I would sort of like to find a nice, mellow older fellow or gal who could slide right into the family. We also have a cat who is a little finicky so we will have to see how everything plays out.
Please post a picture of your new girl when you get a chance and let us know what you name her. I bet she is a sweetheart!
Caroline

p.s. Ann, thank you for sharing that story with us. You truly are an amazing person!