Hi All,

Some of you are familiar with LeStat's story and how hard he took Kasha's death. I've told you about his skittish temperment and how he's become even more reserved since his sister died...he depended on her for everything. Well, it's been just over three months since we lost our girl and LeStat STILL hasn't made it past the bedroom door. He still lies on the bed all day long coming out only to eat, drink, and use the litter box. When we go into the bedroom he will leave and head for the livingroom only until we are asleep, then he creeps back in and hides under the bed until morning. I try to spend a few minutes out of each hour with him (but it's sometimes very hard with the baby around) but over the last two weeks he has become more and more withdrawn and doesn't want me to pet him anymore. When I come into the room he will run and hide or will hiss and stand ready to flee if I come any closer. I went so far as to give him a sedative on the weekend and took him to the vet to ensure his health was fine and he got a clean bill of health but now he seems worse off. The stress of the trip was enormous stress for him (even sedated) and I feel so guilty for taking him.

I don't know what to do for my boy. I love him so much......all he ever sees is Riley (kitten) getting all of the attention because she follows me around like a little shadow. I can't ignore her, it would be cruel, but I know it's not helping LeStat. He has always been a "high maintenance" furry friend and I love him for his faults as well as his strengths but I had no idea that Kasha's death would have such a profound effect. It's so sad...he used to be the most loving boy. He would wind around my legs and when I was sitting on the floor with him he would flatten his ears and bump my lips with his head for "kisses". Now he hisses at me when I pass the bedroom door. I don't know what to do.

Just venting...thanks guys!
Kristie

Dear Kristie, It's just made me cry when I read how much worse poor LeStat is and spends all his time under the bed. I am glad you took him to the vet even though he hates it because if he were to die you would always wonder had you taken him would he still be alive. I don't want to say he will die but since he misses Kasha so much it sounds like he is grieving himself to death. It must hurt you more than anything that he was such a loving boy to you and now hisses at you and wants nothing to do with you. I am just so sorry that happened to both poor LeStat and you.

My daughter's toy poodle Gypsy Rose grew up with Chili Bean and Snookie and it was so hard on her when Chili Bean died. Then when we lost Snookie too little Gypsy went down hill fast. That's when I told you we took her to the vet and he said he could see she was having a hard time with her grief. He treated her for her infection and she got better with that.

She is still grieving for Chili Bean and Snookie and her eyes are still dull she doesn't want to sit in our laps very much anymore. She has no desire to play with Schnitzel our 5 month old miniature schnauzer puppy although she did before Snookie died. Gypsy Rose wont even sleep in bed anymore when she spends the night and she always slept with us. Now she stays out on the couch all night long. I don't know if she will ever stop grieving and it is so hard on her.

No, you cannot ignore Riley you are right it would be cruel to her. But maybe if your not afraid of LeStat attacking you even though he hisses at you maybe once a day you could close your bedroom door to keep Riley out. Then just sit in the floor by the bed and speak soothing words to him. At first do not look under the bed it might frighten him just sit there and speak soft words. Then after a few days of doing that maybe you can look under the bed at him as you are saying soothing words. Try to lure him out with a special treat that he loves the best, What did the vet say when you told him what has become of LeStat after you lost Kasha? Mine said all you can do is give it time, that they grieve like a human. But it has gone on to long for LeStat has he lost any weight?
Love, Ann

Hi Kristie,

My Westie, Skipper is also mourning the loss of her friend Sasha who we lost on Saturday. SHe has gone to the door and waited for Sasha a number of times. Every time my husband comes in she runs to see if Sasha is with him. She has been rolling in Sasha's bed and on the floor where she way laying as if to get close to her with the scent. Last night she was just sitting by the door. It is doubly hard because we can't explain it to them. I have the opposite with Skipper - she does not want me out of her sight like she thinks I may leave too.

I guess all you can so is keep trying and spend some quality time with him without Riley so that he will feel he is still important to you. Keep us posted.

Nancy

Hello Kristie My wife Ann wants to know if LeStat is better she says she is worried and she asked me to post and find out how he is I am sorry he is so bad.
Clair
Snookies
Daddy

Hi Kristie:

Please, keep in touch and let me know how LeStat is doing...... We all care.....

And, please use LS as a sounding board........to vent, etc......
It always helped me way back when.......

Our Ms. Lucy "seems to get quite jealous over any attention we give Mr. Yoster", and when
we're not looking, she'll swat at him.........

Love you, my friend...

Love, Denise xo

Thank you, my friends for your support and love.

Clair, thank you for your response. Please let Ann know that nothing much has changed with poor LeStat. My husband took our son out for the day yesterday to run some errands and gave me a few hours to devote exclusively to LeStat. I sat in the bedroom with him and talked to him for a few hours and he did let me pet his head for a minute or two near the end of our little visit. Last night he even popped up on the bed for a moment to say hello to my husband (he's a daddys boy) so I'm taking it as a slight improvement. He was back to normal this morning (staying away from us entirely) but the boys are going out again for a bit today and I'll lavish some more attention on LeStat. Thank you for asking, extend my thanks to Ann as well. It shows what a wonderful, loving, and caring person she is....to ask about my little boy when she is feeling so poorly herself. Give her a big hug from me and tell her that her support means so much to me! (and then tell her to take it easy and get better soon!!:)

And Denise and Nancy, thanks so much for the support. Sometimes just saying it "out loud" helps so much. Thanks for listening!

Love,
Kristie
xo

I am so sad to hear LeStat is still not coming around. I don't have any 100% proven remedy for you but I might suggest buying some Feliway. They sell it at Petsmart and other big chains. It is supposed to help with stress. I've been using it since Romeo died. It is cat pheromenes from lactating cats. I don't know how they get it. I would recommend the plug in version. Based on the size of your house would dictate how many you need. A month supply is like 40 bucks. I think refills are 20 or 30. I recently added a kitten, 1 week actually, and it hasn't been too bad. Juliet isn't thrilled but she's still in charge. I really can't tell you how much it may help. It is suppossed to help with all the symptoms Lestat has.

Good luck and if you try it please keep us up to date.

Steve

This is from the Manufacturer's website:


What is ComfortZone with Feliway?

If your cat is showing signs of continued stress, ComfortZone with Feliway may be able to help. ComfortZone is a unique electric diffuser that disperses Feliway into the environment through evaporation. Like the Feliway spray, ComfortZone also helps curb urine spraying and destructive clawing behavior.

The calming effect of the diffused Feliway is especially helpful if your cat is exhibiting other worrisome behaviors such as hiding, loss of appetite due to stress, or showing a decreased interest in playing or interaction with you or other cats in the household.

Dear Kristie,
I am saddened to hear that LeStat is not much better but that he did let you pet his head. I hope when you spend more time with him he will feel loved and secure again. Maybe you could call the vet and see if he would send some pills home without having to take LeStat in. You could put some in a few bites soft food to make sure he eats it, then give him more food after he ate the pills.

Maybe the stuff that Steve recommends would work and if you are afraid of it you could always ask your vet about it. I always ask my vet about things just to make sure it is safe. The vet said flea collars are unsafe to put on pets even though they sell them in the store.

My husband took our daughters toy poodle in on Friday to tell him again she would not play and she just sits around with very dull eyes not wanting to see anyone. He told the vet it was almost 7 weeks and this had gone on for too long that she needed help. He gave her some pills they are Amitriptyline.

Gypsy Rose is at my house for a few hours since I wanted to see if the pills are really working. She was so happy to see me and she is running and playing with Schnitzel like she did before Snookie left this world. They are running through the house playing it is like music to my ears. I hate to send her home but since I'm still sick I will do that and bring her back in a few days. The house has been so quiet with only my puppy Schnitzel here. I need my fur grand babies here with me as soon as I feel better.
Love, Ann

Kristie, I send my prayers that LeStat gets better. Everyone has given such good advice. Maybe your husband could also spend some quiet time with LeStat, especially since LeStat is a daddy's boy. Both you caring for him in that way may help him come around.

I have a similar situation in my household. Merlin left me and his "mommy" kitty, Marigold, just a few very painful days ago. Marigold and Merlin grew up together. They were in another household before they came to me. Marigold took care of Merlin when he was first introduced into the other household. Merlin was skittish and neurotic and kept crying. But Marigold, who had had a litter before, took Merlin in as her own, groomed him, comforted him, and became his surrogate mommy. As they grew up, they played together and laid together for warmth and comfort. Marigold taught Merlin everything about being a cat, including her trick of pawing at humans' legs to get their attention. The previous owner didn't bond with Merlin and she had too many cats, so she gave him to me. Marigold had to come too, even though the previous owner didn't want to give her away, because Merlin couldn't live without her. When I got my kitties, Marigold was four and Merlin was one. In my house, Merlin thrived. I gave him hugs and kisses (that he pretended he didn't want), and he bonded with me. In no time, he lost a great deal of his neurotic behavior and he became a loving, talkative, and playful cat with me. Since Merlin has gone, Marigold has been more clingy than usual. She is also talking, which is normal, but it is a different meow than usual. She sighs sometimes and seems depressed to me. I hope she and I can pull through this together. I understand your situation and hope everything gets better for you and LeStat.

Dear Kristie, Please give us an update on LeStat. Is he any better at all, are you able to get near him, did he quit hissing at you, is he losing any weight. Please let us know how he is!
Love, Ann

LeStat had a wonderful night last night and I just had to tell you guys about it!

(first the bad stuff.......)
About a month ago my husband was in a car accident (no worries...he's fine thank heavens) and we lost the truck which was his only means of transportation to work (he's a electrical tech and needs a truck to haul materials to job sites). We had a rental for two weeks but quickly ran out of money (new baby $$$$$$$:) and he ended up having to stay home unti we got the insurance disaster settled. Even though it has brought a lot of financial hardship (I'm on mat leave right now so I'm not contributing much) it happily afforded me some extra time to spend with LeStat.

The first few days I sat with him you have heard about in previous posts...he almost seemed angry with the intrusion but as the days went on he began to accept my presence in the room. LeStat has always been a cat who comes for attention ONLY on his own terms so I really wasn't sure how to approach him when he wasn't looking for attention even though I've known and loved him for close to 12 years. The day after my last post I had 3 hours to spend with him and decided to remove the bed frame in the bedroom where he hides so that he would have no choice but to be out in the open with me in the room. Well....it turned out to be both a mistake and a blessing. I made sure the closet was closed and there was nowhere to hide and when I closed the bedroom door with me on the inside he spooked like nothing I've ever seen before. He was franticaly tearing around the room, almost trying to climb the walls to get away from me. Not helping matters was Riley who was screaming her protest from the other side of the door, outraged by the fact that she wasn't allowed to come it too...it drove LeStat crazy. He ran past me and I noticed that he was foaming at the mouth and I could almost see his little heart thumping in his chest from panic and decided that I couldn't wait it out, opened the door to the bedroom and shooed Riley away so he could make his escape. I didn't see him for almost two days after that..not for food, not for anything. I had to put cat food and water under the livingroom couch for him so he didn't starve but every time he saw me he would bunch up into a little ball at the back corner of the couch like I was coming to torture him. I have never seen such a look of mistrust on his face...he was so angry but worse than that...he was terrified of me. ME.....the person who loves him the most in the world. It was heart breaking.

Now the good news
Although LeStat still hasn't forgiven me for my actions and won't come within 20 feet of me he seems to have turned to my husband for some comfort and support. (he's always been a daddy's boy) Last night I was sitting in the livingroom with my son and Riley (the terrible:) was sitting at our feet trying to snag the baby's blanket over and over (telling her to stop only makes the game more fun) when I heard a fimiliar "crunch crunch" coming from the kitchen. LeStat has excellent "table manners" and crunches his food 4-5 times before swallowing it so I know the sound well. You'd think he had eaten an entire bag of cat food in the time it takes him to eat two mouthfulls. I looked under the couch to find it empty and snuck my way over to the kitchen to have a peek. There was LeStat, sitting on the floor, eating cat food from my husbands hand, getting a good scratch behind the ears all the while. He returned to the bedroom when he was done but later that night after I put the baby to bed I came into the living room to find LeStat all snuggled up in Daddy's lap having himself a good purrrrrrrrrrr. SO....he's still mad at me but for the first time since Kasha died he's gone for some daddy-lovin, which is wonderful to see!

I couldn't be happier for my boy! I feel about a million times better now, even if he is still scared of his mommy I at least know that he's feeling a little more connected to the family.

Just thought you'd like to know,

Thanks everyone,
Kristie

Dear Kristie, I am so glad to hear that LeStat seems to be doing much better now. I had to laugh at the bed frame though. When Snookie became so ill she couldn't jump on the bed. So we took the frame out too because I could see she felt bad not being able to get up on her own. It was low to the ground and she still had trouble but managed to get up and down. What we wont do for our babies, now that's love when we do things like that!!! I hope LeStat continues to get better and maybe he will show you love once again.
Love, Ann