How can I get through the next few days? Everywhere I look, I am reminded of her. My heart is shattered. I don't know how I can get through this incredible pain....Caroline

Dear Caroline,

I think Abby's mom's advice is excellent. I don't think I can add anything to what she said.

And, you have a loving family here at LS that will comfort and embrace you.
Love,
Kathleen

Dear Caroline,
All you might be able to do for the first few days is cry and walk around in a haze. If you don't feel like cooking or doing house work then don't do it for a while. Those tears are going to flow for quite a while to come but don't try to hold them back. God gave them to us for a reason and they are for healing and cleansing. Regardless of what people say tears do help things and give you a small amount of relief.

I know it feels like your heart should not be beating since it feels like it has been torn out, stepped on, and shattered, but somehow we continue live and our hearts beat on. Things might look dull, dismal, dark and gray for a while but one day hopefully the sun will shine again once in your heart. When the pain eases up you will be able to think of those wonderful memories without feeling the world has fallen out from under you.

Abby's mommy summed it up really good as to what would be some excellent things to do to help ease the pain. The letter writing is so good for expressing your thoughts as you can tell your baby just how you feel when maybe you couldn't say it to anyone else. Kathleen is so right you do have a loving family right here who will comfort and embrace you.

I urge you to eat even if it is only a few bites throughout the day. Food made me feel so sick whenever I tried to eat it, not only that but I would think to myself my little girl is not here to eat and I don't deserve too eat either. So I lost a lot of weight like Abby's mommy said I did after I lost Snookie.

From the day after Christmas until today I have lost 30 pounds, trust me I am not a small women I really liked to eat. So I didn't get skinny when I lost that weight but I did get so very sick. My clothes are all baggy on me now. First I got the flu and after that my body got more sick by the day with different things. Still I refused to go to the doctor but I gave in yesterday and went.

I have almost lost my voice altogether and have headaches, backaches, ear aches, sore throat, dizzy, that kind of thing I'm sure you get the picture. My husband and children were so worried about me but I refused to go to the doctor because I thought it was just grief and I would get alright with time.

I just went to the doctor yesterday and my blood pressure was only 80/52 I am always 118/80 just right for a woman my age. The doctor gave me a shot and did blood work. I have infection spread all through out my whole body and I am still so sick. My lungs, ears, throat, kidneys along with my stomach and other things have been hit the hardest with infection. Even my lymph nodes are swollen and painful.

So please try to eat a little something so you wont have to fight your way through both grief and sickness. I know this is long but I wanted you to know what going without eating will do to you. It is not a pretty picture to be this sick and not only did my husband and children cry for our precious Snookie but I caused them undue tears over me.

I believe someone put my grand daughter Sara up to asking me if I was going to die. She said she thought of it on her own since Chili Bean and Snookie both died so close together and that was what made me to go to the doctor.

Hang in there we are here to hold your hand and help you to be able make it through this horrendous pain that is hard to bear but together joining hearts we can and we will make it through.
Love, Ann

Dear Caroline-
There is no easy way to get through the next few days.
Somehow we just do it.
I found great solace in coming to LS though I did not find the site until my guy was already gone for almost 2 weeks.
I wish I had known sooner. The kind words of people here were and are still a great comfort.
Thinking of you during this very painful time.
Always,
Fran

Caroline,

I just lost my dog, Sasha,today and belleve me, I totally understand your pain. I have been crying for hours. I wish I knew a way to make us both feel better, but I don't. I guess we just have to be thankful for the time we had with them. I just keep looking at pictures of her and I feel sick inside that my baby is gone. My heart goes out to you - I know how you feel!

Nancy

Dear Caroline,

I am just heartbroken that poor Lucy lost her battle to the terrible illness that took over her body

It will take you time to get through this, and you have been given wonderful advice.

You will get through each day, though. I know this because of how strong you have already been. My gosh, you have stood up and stayed strong for sweet Lucy while she went through medication and tried to fight this. You had to face each day not knowing if it would be the day that she would no longer respond to the medication. I can't imagine having to go through that! By the time my Rachael became weak and we discovered her cancer, we only had three days before her health made her too weak to stand, and we had to help her end her suffering. Do you realize just how strong you were when you made that call to the vet? When Rachael became bad off, we had decided to spend the weekend with her and see the vet on Monday. My husband went off to work Saturday morning. Later that morning, my precious Rachael appeared to be suffering SO much more. Her breathing became labored and each breath she took just broke my heart. Like you, I decided it had to be done sooner than we planned. With my husband at work, I had to take Rachael myself. I NEVER thought I would be strong enough to do that without him, but I did it. Then I thought that I would NOT be able to be with Rachael and watch her take her last breath. However, I held her right to the end. I discovered just how strong I really was. That's what you have done too. You showed AMAZING strength when you called that vet to end her suffering earlier than you had planned.

Please hang in there Caroline. It doesn't feel like this pain will ever get better, but I promise you that it will. Your time with Lucy wasn't long enough, I know, but you were blessed with those wonderful years that you did have. You are a very special and loving person, so you will feel this pain for a while. Your sweet Lucy couldn't have asked for a better or more loving home!

Cheri

I laid on the couch for days with the computer in front of me spending hours on L.S. I can barely remember the first few days now. Hang in there. Pamela.

Dear Caroline,
First I wanted to thank you for your support and words in regards to my recent loss of my cat and best friend Clay, in his untimely death and at such a young age. Thank you for the prayer you offered for my boy. We will get through this, I know we will. Our pain is so new, our loss is so new. But I do know in time, our hearts will heal and we will be able to think of our babies without crying, but there is always going to be that void. I know I was talking to a dear friend after losing Clay, and I told her how I wished I didnt love so passionately, cause I hurt so deeply when I lose something or one I love. But she asked me if I would give up that passionate love for 1 1/2 yrs I had for Clay , so as not to feel the pain now. No. I wouldnt give up that love, and all that emotion and attachment and not feel the pain now. You are a caring and compassionate person. Lucy was family. Its a huge loss. All I can say is, there is no way around grief, you have to go through it, as hard as it is. It will get easier in time. Right now, take care of yourself. Make time for grief, but also try to find a distraction for a little while to give yourself a break. Know people care very much and are sending thoughts and prayers and hugs your way. Susie, Clay's Mom