I was just reading something that touched me regarding someone rescuing a dog from a shelter and it hit me like a ton of bricks and I just am sobbing. I looked at the calendar and tomorrow it will be 5 months since Dieter was in the here and now with us. I just would like to know how everyone is doing.

I have more good days than bad now and I think the Holiday's delayed my healing a bit. I just miss my little guy so much. Just the other night I looked over at my husband and saw he was crying and I asked him what was wrong and he just said he missed "D". It's truly amazing how a little furry creature can crawl into and steal your heart.

I find it hard to come here like I used to, but not because I don't care!! It just opens up this wound and I find I'm back to square one in the grief process again. I really want all of you to know that I care and I think about you and your furbabies often and wish I had something magical to say that would comfort you.

I hope anyone who reads this will share where they are in this journey, I'd really like to know how you are doing.
Just thinking about all the wonderful souls at LS

Hello dietersmom!

It's so nice to see you back again
I'm glad you are having more good days than bad days. That should give hope to the newcomers that are still raw in their grief.

For me, it's been almost four months now since I had to say good bye to my sweet Rachael. Like you, I have good days and bad days, and thankfully the good days out number the bad now. The holidays set me back for a while, but I have managed to climb out of that depression.

My husband and I talk about Rachael often. His nickname for her was "Tinky". He started calling her "Stinky Butt", or "The Butt". Eventually, it became just "Tinky". He called her that with affection (Digestion problems she developed with old age) It still makes me smile when he talks about her and says "I remember when Tinky....", or "Tinky used to .....".

Cheri

Hi I am so glad to see you on and I am always wondering if you are doing better and how you are coping with your little boy not in your life anymore. I will be thinking of you and Dieter tomorrow on your 5 month mark.

It has been 10 weeks since we lost Chili Bean and we still miss her so much. It has only been 4 weeks Sunday since I lost my precious Snookie. I am just beginning to heal I still have a longing to hold my little girl and to have her with me. But I know that one day I will be with my little love again. Knowing that and keeping her sweet love in my heart that she gave to me keeps me going.

I don't cry everyday like I did and sometimes the tears well up in my eyes and other times the tears freely flow. I think I will always feel a deep loss for Snookie and for Chili Bean but I feel like I can carry on as I hold them near and dear to my heart.

We have a new miniature schnauzer puppy and she will never be Snookie but I do love Schnitzel very much. She is 5 months old and although she is a lot of work she has also bonded with my heart and I love her dearly.

Sometimes I feel guilty when I feel so much love for Schnitzel and when I have so much fun playing with my puppy but I think Snookie wouldn't want me to give less than my best to Schnitzel. I think Snookie knows I will always love her and hold her in my heart into eternity.
Love, Ann

Hi Dietersmom,

I, like you, do not come here too often anymore. It does feel like ripping the scars off a very big wounds sometimes. On the other hand, I try and pop in at least occaisionally to give some words of support.

Today I'm here because I had a pain-induced (toothache) dreadful nightmare about Luba. It was really horrible.

Overall I'm doing better though. Falkor is a joy to be around, and I feel very lucky to have him. I look at every day with him as a gift. He's rallied through so much illness.

Yes, I miss Luba terribly, yes I still cry, but I'm living again, albeit it feels like a part of me is now forever changed.

I'll be at 8 months on February 5th. It's hard to explain, but, unfortunately, I have to admit that I seem to be reluctantly accepting and adapting to a life without Luba. It sucks. But what choice is there.

I still miss Oswald. It has been two and a third seasons (I took him to the vet on June 20, so my poor lad missed his favourite - summer). I no longer break into tears at the sight of his fur on seldom-worn clothes, but he used to greet me at the door always, even when he was dying he would meet me. I miss him terribly.

Hi, Libby-

I took a couple weeks off from LS, but I'm back. I just needed to work through some grief.

I'm at a point where I'm starting to find comfort in all my happy memories of Shiloh, but I still have some really bad days. I cried when I read what you wrote about your husband crying. I'm the same way, sometimes I'm caught off guard and I'll break down and just cry because I miss her so much.



It really is amazing. I didn't know I had the capability to love or miss someone or something as much as I miss Shiloh.

I've been listening to my Phantom soundtrack lately and when I hear the song "Think of me Fondly," I think of Shiloh and I know that she would want me to think of her fondly, but tonight I found myself wondering if I'll ever be able to think of her fondly and not be over taken with such sadness and loneliness at her absence.

Thanks for checking in. My thoughts are with you on Dieter's 5 month anniversary.
Kathleen

Good Early AM, Dietersmom:

It was WONDERFUL to see your post, and that precious photo of Dieter (your Avatar.)....

It was absolutely fantastic to read that you are now having "more good days than bad"!!!



Well.........I must agree......that quote is soooo very, very true!!!!!

About four years ago, Ben's furcat, "Scooter" could not come live with us, because Ernestine was "starting with her
illnesses......Hyperthyroidism, extra high heart rate....(over 260 ++ beats per minute/exceeding 300 beats per minute).

Our vet (at that time), said "There's just no way Ernie could have another cat in the house with her."... Yes, Ernie
was 16 at the time.............but, there wasn't a reason to just "put her to sleep"....

We were wondering, what we could do with Scooter, because obviously, Ben was attached to him.......
God Bless My Mother ..... Really!! She adopted Scooter in as her own..... (That was four years ago!!)

My mother and Scooter are "inseparable", and we couldn't be happier!!!!!

After our precious Ernestine was put to sleep (on February 7, 2004), at age 19 & 10 months (thank you, Dear God....for giving her all of those years to spend with me, and to meet her (2nd), but her very real daddy!!!)............

Scooter had already made a comfy home with my mom, and we would never, ever dream of taking him from her!!!!! He is a BEAUTIFUL, BIG NORWEIGIAN FOREST CAT!!! (he does get shaved totally 2x/year.....His fur is like 6 big boxes of
PURE COTTON --- IT CANNOT BE BRUSHED!!!!)

So, we have Ms. Lucy and Mr. Yoster!! xoxo, and we adopted them one month after Ernestine was put to sleep..


Libby, I SINCERELY HOPE AND PRAY THAT YOU CONTINUE TO DO WELL........... DO YOU PERSONALLY FEEL AS IF, THAT IS THE DIRECTION YOU ARE GOING???

Five months is NOT A VERY LONG TIME AT ALL LIBBY, TO FEEL LIKE "PERFECTLY WELL", WITHOUT YOUR SWEET & PRECIOUS DIETER!!!!

But.............ALWAYS & FOREVER KNOW THAT YOUR BEAUTIFUL DIETER LIVES IN YOUR HEART AND SOUL, AND, THAT'S WHERE HE WILL ALWAYS AND FOREVER REMAIN!!!!!!

His beautiful, sweet earthly "shell" is no longer here with you...................but, his spirit and soul will never, ever
leave you..............

I HOPE THAT YOU CAN FIND SOME PEACE AND COMFORT IN KNOWING THAT, LIBBY!!!!!

God Bless You and Your Husband, Always!!!!!

Denise

It's been 7-mo sinse my 17-old furkitty, Fuzzball, passed to the Bridge. I tear up when I think about my baby and yes there are times I do cry but not like I used to.
I swore I'd never get another furkitty because it's just so hard when they leave BUT that went out the window in October when I brought home my new furkitty, Chinook. I feel guilty at times for having Chinook and I feel sometimes that I'm betraying Fuzzball. Fuzzball is forever near and dear in my heart and I love him and miss him so much! Chinook has captured my heart and has taken up a lot emptiness in my life. She is 4-mo. this month.

Wanda

Hi Dietersmom,

Glad to hear you're doing better, with more good days than bad. Five months, I'm sure seems like only yesterday but at the same time like forever, if that makes any sense.

I still at times, can't believe that Rusty is gone. I'll always have animals in my life but NEVER another rabbit (unless I end up like Wanda and her new kitty ) but for now...........can't even consider it.


Thinking of you and your husband.

Lynn

Hi Libby,

I'm sorry it's taken me so long to reply to this post. You lost Dieter only eight days after I lost Little Man so my feelings at the moment pretty much mirror yours. I have mostly good days now, but I still have a few bad ones here and there. I don't really know what triggers it, it seems to come out of nowhere, but when it hits, it still packs a powerful punch.

It's beginning to get a little more difficult for me to come here to LS, too. There is so much sadness and at times it does seem to open old wounds. Most of the time when I log on now I'll tell myself I'm just going to read and not post as long as I see the posts are getting many replies from others.. But more often than not, I end up posting but it makes me sad when I know I don't have the time to reply to all the new posts. It's difficult deciding which ones to reply to because I don't want anyone to feel left out.

As I look back over the past five months I would have to say I've come a long way with the healing process. I still miss Little Man and all his quirky little ways as much as ever but I've accepted the fact that his time had come and there is nothing I can do to change it. He and I did have a great life together, we were best buddies in every sense of the word. I'm very thankful for the almost twelve years we had together and that he had always been blessed with such good health right up until his last two days. Even Little Man's vet made the comment during the last few years of his life of how agile and healthy he was to be a "senior" dog.

He'll always have that special place in my heart and I know I'll always miss him. But life does go on and we must play the hand we were dealt as best we can. Sometimes I think I should stop visiting here at LS completely and just "move on." But I can't forget the lifeline this place was for me when I desperately needed help and didn't know where to turn. If I hadn't found this website and all the wonderful people who reached out to me, I do have to wonder where I would be a this point with the healing process. The thought has crossed my mind that I would be in a rubber room somewhere, clad in a straightjacket.

There's that old saying, "Misery loves company." I think it should be, "Misery NEEDS company." It always amazes me to see how perfect strangers can come together and comfort each other because they have one thing in common: a broken heart over the loss of a beloved pet. It truly renews my faith in humanity. I sleep much better knowing there are indeed still many wonderful, caring, and compassionate people in a world that can be pretty cruel at times.

Thank you Libby for asking how all of us are doing. It's interesting to see how everyone who replied is dealing with things at the moment. You are truly an asset to LS and I hope you never leave completely. We want you to "heal" completely, but we want you to continue to come here at least once in a while to offer your kind and caring words of wisdom. Your family, and everyone always wants to hear from family......

Take care,
__Jim

Hi Libby
I too am part of the "old group". I don't come here very much at all now. I think about my Max every day and still miss him so much. Every once in a while I just have to break down and cry and then I can go on again for a while longer. Max is my first dog and the only dog I ever lost. I never ever ever imagined it would be like this. Pretty soon it will be six months. A half year! I used to miss him just being away for a few days at a time. I had a nice dream last night about him. He came back to see me for a little while and I got to hug him again. I really miss hugging him. My dream felt so real that when I woke up, I actually felt like I had been hugging him. I think he is still watching out and trying to take care of me. So yes, I have better days and longer times between meltdowns. It's like Jim said about being dealt this hand and having to live and go on with it. So that's what I do. But I have been forever changed since that day on August 18. Maxie took a little piece of me with him.
Take care Libby and thanks for checking in on us.
Carol