I just can't believe my little Snookie girl has been gone for 4 weeks today. It just seems like I was holding her in my arms as she lay leaving this world. The tears are not coming as often as they were so I guess my heart is beginning to heal. Not that I don't still cry but the tears don't last as long or come as often.

I guess I was going through the grief process while I cried for almost 11 months off and on while she Snookie was still alive after I learned she had cancer and cushing's disease. Then she later got diabetes and was so ill from that.

My little girl fought so hard to stay with me and made it 4 months longer than some of the vet's thought she would. Her pancreas shut down and she could no longer hold on.

Now I just have to think of her as being in no more pain and know that she will be waiting for me when it comes my time to leave this world. Snookie was such a delightful girl so quick to play and have fun. My little girl never had a mean bone in her body and she loved people and children and other fur babies.

Snookie never even minded when the grandbabies played dress up or laid on her to take a nap. She was by my side at all times when she wasn't playing with the grand children giving me the pure love that only fur babies can.

My heart will always have somewhat of an empty spot for my little Snookie Cookie but now her beautiful memories are beginning to fill the hole somewhat. I can smile even through the tears that flood my eyes and through the pain that touches deep within my soul. Mama loves you now, always, and forever Snookie My Love.
Ann

Hi, Ann-

It is hard to believe that Snookie has been gone for 4 weeks. I know it's hard for me to believe that Shiloh's been gone for a little over 4 months. Sometimes I feel as though it was just yesterday that I saw her, sometimes it feels like it's been an eternity.

As each day and each week passes the tears will flow a little less frequently and you will replace the saddness with the happy memories of Snookie.

As far as your heart being somewhat empty...I don't think so, Ann. Your arms my be somewhat empty, but Snookie's love is, and always will be, overflowing in your heart.
Love,
Kathleen

Thanks Kathleen,
It's funny how you think your heart will quit beating and yet it beats on. The world goes on turning and people keep on laughing and going about their business. I feel like I live in a world that I don't much fit into right now.

One of my 3 daughters thinks something is wrong with me because I am not crying all the time now. My other 2 daughters think it is good that the tears are less now. My son does not say to much about it. My lack of constant crying does not mean I love my Snookie any less but I am just learning to live with her loss.

I would give anything or do anything to have her back healthy but that is not to be. So with a heavy heart and a broken soul I will go on and carry her love in my heart. I will keep her alive in my heart until the day I die.
Love, Ann

Dear Ann,

I am so sorry you have been going through all this.
I really like the way you put it:

That's really how I feel now too. It's been a little longer for me, so my crying only comes occassionally now, but I still miss my Rachael SO VERY much! However, I think I have just learned to live with her loss. WOW! Just writing that amazes me.
I NEVER EVER thought I would be able to "learn to live" without her, but here I am, going on with my life and a new puppy. Of course, she will always hold a very special place in my heart and I will never stop loving her.

God Bless you Ann,
Cheri

Dear Ann

I am so glad that Snookie's beautiful memories are beginning to come into your mind now. You went through so much for so long.
You gave her so much loveand support in her last weeks,she certainly went to
rainbow bridge knowing how much her mommy loved her thats for sure.

I too, can scarcely believe that 4 weeks have passed since that day. I hope that the happy memories continue to fill your mind.

With love
jilly

Hi AnnH,
I have been following your story of and on. I come spratically because thats who I am now. I love what everyone has written to your post and I couldn't have said it any better. Today is a set back for me just because life goes on and thinking about all the good memories to fill our physical void is how I am getting by. Indy's love is in me no matter what. Thank you for writing because it gave me an uplift when I needed it the most.
ChrissyW

Ann- I loved what you wrote about Snookie letting your grandchildren dress her up and play with her. My dog Lucy is so good with my kids (3 and 1 years old). She used to let them jump all over her but now I make them be extra gentle with her because of the cancer. It makes me so sad they will not grow up with her. Certain, special dogs are good with kids like that. Sounds like Snookie was a very gentle and loving soul. I know you miss her terribly. Thinking of you...
Caroline

Hi Ann,

It's hard to believe it's been four weeks since you lost your beloved Snookie. For some reason, the 1 month anniversary seems to be very difficult for many of us. I think maybe in the begining of the grief process, we are in a state of denial and after a month or so, the reality of knowing we won't ever have our furbabies in this lifetime again begins to really sink in.

The fog a grief begins to lift a little and even though the pain of losing our furbabies is very real, we slowly begin to accept the fact that life does go on and that we will somehow find a way to cope with our losses. You will never stop missing Snookie and you will always have that special place in your heart that is reserved for her and her only.

You were such a great mom to Snookie and she was so lucky to have you. It's sad that any of us must be here at Lighning Strike, but I'm very thankful to have your help and support as we walk this journey of grief together. You have helped so many of us, Ann, and I really appreciate everything you've done for me. I think it's great that you post frequently...I always want to know how you are doing. I also know that you ALWAYS post to ALL the members here, both new and old.

You have always managed to find the time and strength to help others while at the same time dealing with your own heartache and that makes you a very special and beautiful person in my eyes....all of us here at LS are very blessed and thankful to have you.

Take Care,
_Jim

Hi Ann,
I haven't been at LS for a few weeks. Sometimes it's just so hard and then I find myself slipping back into my grief. I echo what Jim said, you have always been such a selfless person, in your time of pain always helping others and I want to thank you for that. The 4 week mark was difficult for me, too. Sometimes I walk around and still can't believe Dieter is gone, sometimes it's just so fresh all over again. I'm glad you are doing better.
Just thinking about you
Libby

Thank you all so much my dear friends for all your wonderful kindness and I am so glad I have helped you too. While my Snookie was so sick all I could think was that I would lose my mind or have a heartattack when she passed away.

Neither happened and it is her love that she shared with me that will keep my heart and mind in tact. I did not want to believe she was gone and my heart could keep beating but it has. I believe Snookie's love will live on in my heart for all time. I was so blessed to have had her share my life with me all those years.

Her urn is on the way and I have ordered a poem about the love of a dog who has died and that also holds a picture. I got a couple of magnets about my miniature schnauzer is my guardian angel and other things like that. Of course Snookie's pictures are hanging all over the house as I have had since the day I brought her home. Instead of the 8x10's I might have some pictures of Snookie and me made larger.

She now has a memory book with many photos and some of her hair and a paw print too. I am so glad someone on LS told me to make a paw print and that I did that.

My heart is so sad but I am finding ways to honor Snookie's memory. It will be there to show my friends and family that I will always love my little girl and what a wonderful love she was and always will be to me.
Love, Ann
My Snookie Cookie
Snookie Lynn Howard
2-04-94 - 12-26-04

Dear Ann,

All the things your doing to honor Snookie's memory sound wonderful.

I'm so glad you were able to find an urn more fitting for Snookie's ashes.

Love,
Kathleen

You all are just so kind to me and I appreciate each and every one of you. I just wanted to share the poem I bought for Snookie. It comes in a mat to put in a double sided frame to display her picture in. I do not know who wrote it but I love it and think Snookie would too. Here it is:

LOSS OF A DOG
If you've ever known the joyful sound
Of barks that fill the air-
A sloppy kiss, a friendly paw,
A quiet adoring stare-
If you've ever had a special friend
To share a tear or two,
Or maybe just a wagging tail
To lift you when you're blue-
If you've ever felt the wrenching pain
That only death can send,
Then you have lost
Not just a dog-
You've truly lost a friend.
But God is good and treasures love
And there at Heaven's gate-
A sloppy kiss, a joyful bark-
Your precious friend awaits.

I just thought this would be so precious to have with her picture and all her other things.
Love, Ann

It's wonderful, Ann. What a beautiful way to honor sweet Snookie's memory.
Love,
Kathleen

The poem is beautiful, Ann. I remember well the day little Snookie Cookie died. In one way, it seems a long time ago, then again it seems it can't have been one month. I feel the same about Hannah.

Snookie was a very, very lucky little girl to have a mommy like you. Thank YOU, Ann, for all your support and for sharing your love and kindness with me and everyone here at LS.
Love,
Marcia

Thank you for sharing that peom Ann!
It just amazes me how easily I tear up when I read all these beautiful poems in this forum. My heart is SO full of love for furbabies!

Cheri

Dear Ann,

That poem is very beautiful. Perfect for honoring beautiful Snookie.

Love,
Lynn

Hi Ann:

I absolutely love that poem, and it honors your sweet girl sooooooo much!!!!!!

You are such a wonderful friend to everyone here at LS...........Very loving, caring, supportive, etc., etc......

I consider it a wonderful privilege to call you my friend..!!!!

God Bless You and Yours,

Love, Denise xo