Please, I just want to tell someone who will understand what i am feeling.
Last night, my husband and I had to make the choice to put our cat to sleep. Mittens had been in very poor shape for the last day and a half. She was on oxygen most of teh time. She only had fifty percent lung capacity, possibly do to Emphasema. The vet had her in this aquarium while they were giving her oxygen. I got to pet her a little, but most of the day yesterday she was eclosed in the tank and I couldn't touch her. My husband met me there after he finished work, I had wanted him to see her and be there with me for the toughest decision of my life. They had her on all kinds of medication and I don't think she even knew that we were there with her. That hurts so much. I can't stop crying. Her sister is still with us and it is hard to look at her without being reminded of Mittens. I am not alone, am I?
Janice

Third Time I've Edited This!!!

I'm so sorry for your loss, and no, you're definately not alone. When my first baby, Kim, died, I was so upet at loosing her I couldn't bear to look at my other dog, Cindy, just the thought of her lying in the same place as Kim brough tears to my eyes. In time though I was so thankful for having Cindy, not as a replacement, nothing could ever do that, but as having her there as a reminder of Kim.

We had to make the awful decision today, for Cindy, and it's devastating. Yesterday we were told that the drip was doing no good, Cindy'd been on a drip since Friday, not eating since last Thursday. We wanted to go and see her so much, but the vet told us that it wouldn't be a good idea. This morning we were told that Cindy wasn't going to improve and, because of the way she was with us, because of how much we knew her, we knew we had to say goodbye. She was, and always will be, our Baby, I'm still very numb, but I know that we were given eight and a half wonderful years, nothing can ever take that away from us!

Love Nicky

No Janice your not alone, its awful that we have to go through this, but so many of us go straight back out there and get another baby to cuddle because they know the love and devotion far out way the pain of loosing them.

It hurts like nothing I've ever experienced before or ever want to again, its actually going to be a whole year soon since I lost my first girl Sadie and I still cry I still get that catch in my throat from not believing they’ve gone. But on the whole I'm ok and only really just starting to patch together a life, I think I've been numb for most of the time and angry other times.

We had Jude put to sleep in March and that was like a knife in my heart, but I have come to really believe they are still around me and only a whisper away if I stop and listen hard enough.

Love Sue

HI. I am so sorry that you had to make the decision to put Mittens to sleep. It is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. On May 1st of this year, I had to put my little soul-mate O.K. to sleep. She was a 19 yr old grey tabby. I honestly believe when you help your baby go to Rainbow Bridge, you are making the hardest yet most loving+unselfish choice. You understand (or think you do) the amount of pain you will feel when your baby goes and yet you love them so much you would rather take the pain yourself then see them suffer any longer. Time will help you slowly remember all the great things you shared together. Remember, you will be with each other again-never to be separated.
Hugs to you,
Kimberly
***if I can only be with you in my dreams, I want to sleep forever++
Ok and Mama's boy-thanks for the butterflies

Janice,

Oh how I feel your pain because tonight I also had to put my precious cat Gwendolyn to sleep. She was 21 years old and has been with me through all the good times and bad times. I realize that she lived beyond normal expectations but it doesn't help to ease my pain at the moment.

Although I don't have any words of comfort for you right now, because I too am grieving, I will say I understand exactly how you feel. I understand the emotions you are feeling at this moment. It's going to be difficult but you'll get through it somehow just as I know I eventually will. My heart hurts, I feel empty and alone but I have to tell myself that my Gwenie is no longer in pain and suffering.

I am so very sorry for the loss of your fur baby Mittens. Both of you are in my prayers.

Elizabeth

Janice and Elizabeth,

I am deeply sorry for the loss and hurt you are feeling right now. I have to put my soul-mate snoops (a precious 16 year old Jack Russel) to sleep almost 3 months ago. I well remember those first few hours, days, and weeks. The hurt does lesson over time and eventually you figure out how to get through the day.

A good friend of mine told me that when I started feeling really sad to try and think of some of the funny things he did. This helped me get through some of the roughest times ... maybe it will help you too.

Remember though, that it is OK to cry and to grieve. Don't feel silly because they were just "cats" ... they were loving members of your family and you (and they) deserve the right to mourn and grieve.

Again, my condolences to you both ...

Hugs,
Beth

Thank you Beth,

I hope you're doing better today... I hope everyone is doing better today. I'm starting to come out of the fog and yesterday I adopted a new kitty - no, not to replace Gwen but to help ease the pain. I was dwelling on Gwen's last moments and not remembering her life or the joy she brought to me. I was grieving so much I didn't know exactly how old Gwen was.. she was actually 20 not 21 not that it makes a difference.

Anyhow, thank you so much for your kind words. It's so nice to be able to come to a place to discuss feelings with people who truly understand. Everyone else thinks I've lost my mind and that's okay. I know when I have a bad moment I can come here and feel comforted. Thanks again.

Hugs
Elizabeth

First, condolences on your loss. But, just as importantly, congratulations on your new arrival.

I, too, adopted a new little one - he is one and a half years old now. A still a little spitfire.

He has created his own enormous cat bed in my heart, right beside the places where my other guys were. There's lots of room in there.

No, your not alone. We feel your pain of loss and so does your other baby. We lost our Angeldog Brandi two weeks ago the very same way and the pain is still as real as ever.Our little Brutus looks the house over for her every day and that breaks our hearts to see him like that. My wife and I pray for your family that God eases your pain and releases you from it's grip. This site has been a help to us and I hope that you find the same. We must be here for each other.

It sounds so painful to you that you couldn't pet and hold Mittens during her death, and that Mittens
may not have been aware of your presence. I lost my cat, LuLu, this morning. And I wasn't there
at all. She was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism about a week ago and I started her on Tapazole.
Two days ago she stopped eating and was growing weak. So I took her to the vet yesterday
thinking she was having a side effect to the medication. He called later to tell me she was
in shock and had put her on an IV. He was leaving for the evening and would be back early in
the morning so I couldn't see her. When he arrived in the morning she was near death and I
was unable to get there in time. He felt that she may have had metastatic cancer that we were
not aware of, and that was one factor causing the shock. What I feel so bad about now is I wasn't
there when she died. In fact, I didn't even say goodbye when I left her at the vet! I feel bad about
that now, but I am trying to think about not just that but the totality of our sixteen years together.
And I believe she knew she was loved and I would have been there if I could. But this issue is
making my grief nearly unbearable.

So many candles to light...

For Lulu

For Mittens

For Brandi

For Gwen

For Snoops

and again for jude, for sadie, for Edgar, Jesse and Tom

And Freyja and Saki...

Love to you all
Jennifer