Hey Little Dog,

It's another sad anniversary day tomorrow. Actually, it's been 7 months yesterday that you collapsed, and will be 7 months tomorrow since you left.

So much has happened. I've been told that I've changed a lot since you died. I believe it.

On the good side:
I know that your death taught me about how precious life is, and how quickly it can be snuffed out. I get angry less over the little annoyances of life. Even things that previously really bothered me don't get to me as much anymore. It's just not worth it. Because of this, Michael and I don't fight much anymore. It's as though we've reached a new understanding of each other.

On the negative side:
I have more fears. I am constantly obsessing over another loved one passing away. I've seen how quickly it can occur. Although my life has been frequently touched by death, you were my first "sudden death". My first quick departue. I know that it can happen again.
Also, life never fully became whole again after you left. Something has gone out of me forever. When my "childhood dog" died when I was 22 it was different. He was old and sick. I was very sad, but I moved on. With you it was different. A light has been permanently dimmed.

Interestingly, I don't fear my own death anymore. I am happy that we are not on earth forever, for to have lost you and be forced to have this pain forever would be unbearable.

"Every night as I fall asleep,
The sadness is a bit less deep.
For I am closer, by one day,
To the time when we once more will play."

I love you.

Steph

What a beautiful picture of Luba and what a beautiful poem. The picture made me smile, the poem made me cry.

Our furbabies do teach us that life is so very precious and that each second should be treasured.

Thanks Kathleen,

I think that we owe them to go on and value life for all it is worth. They are only with us for such a short time, and give us so much. I think that they would want us to take every minute of life given to us, and consider it a blessing.

Dear Steph,

What a precious picture of Luba and a beautiful poem. Reminds me of my dog, Heidi with her ever present tennis ball.

I know just what you mean when you said that "a light has been permanently dimmed." As far as having fears.......Since I lost Rusty (suddenly), I get this sinking feeling if my hubby comes home late. He teaches about an hour from where we live and sometimes if he's stuck in traffic, etc. I think that something "must have happened". I was always a worrier before but nothing like now.

You're right, Kathleen - Every second should be treasured.

Lynn

Steph,
Your poems expressed my thoughts better than I could have spoken it. I am forever changed too. Pamela

Steph I love the picture of Luba she looks as thought she is telling you to hurry and play ball. Snookie used to get in that position often and would bark for me to hurry up and do something. The poem is a real comfort. I too get worried everytime one of the babies get sick my fear of them dieing is great even when it is something small.

My daughter and I rushed the toy poodle Gypsy Rose to the vet yesterday. He said she had an upper resp. infection and had a fever and 2 loose teeth, her bark had changed sounds. I blamed myself for her teeth since she was playing rough with Schnitzel and thought maybe that's why her teeth came loose. Schnitzel may only be 5 months old but she is a larger than the toy poodle. I guess she just has bad teeth as some poodles do. The Dr. couldn't pull them out with her fever so we will do that as soon as she feels better.

I am taking Gypsy Rose back to have her teeth cleaned and the bad teeth pulled when I pick Snookie up Thursday if this snow storm will let me get there. We may have 10 inches tonight and are expected to have ice too.
Love, Ann

yeah, Steph, me too, exactly. :(
everything you said.

Oh Steph, what a beautiful picture of Luba!
I felt every word you wrote. The part that REALLY brought out the tears, was when you said you wouldn't want to live forever, knowing it would be a life without Luba and all the pain. Oh how I understand those words!

Cheri

Thank you guys for taking the time to read my post, and looking at the photo of my girl.

Sometimes I feel like she's being forgotten by everyone, and I feel like I have to do something to keep her memory alive in the world.

Dear Steph,
I will never forget your little Luba girl as long as I live and that's a promise. Every time I think of my girls Chili Bean and my sweet Snookie I will remember Luba. None of us wants the love of our lives to be forgotten. Your babies will be etched in my mind forever. Nor will you ever be forgotten by me either your kindness throughout Snookie illness will always be with me.
Love, Ann