We had to put Denali down, our black lab of 12 years, on New Year's Day. My wife and I are having a terrible time dealing with the loss, and the pain. There is a huge hole inside our hearts.

She was a wonderful dog - she was our only child, when my wife and I found out we couldn't have our own bio. children. She was kind, loving, smart.

We miss her so much. When will the pain end?

Welcome Andy.
I have been here only a short time myself, having lost our 11 year old cat on
December 21st.
I didn't think I could have children, and for 10 years, he was our baby. Now I
have a 7 month old. It is a terrible thing to give birth to and bury a child in one
year. That is how it feels to me, and I have no shame to say it on this board.
He was my son, and I know that you and your wife feel the same way as my husband
and I did.
I am wondering how long this pain will last as well. There are people here that have
been grieving for months. I know that a part of me will grieve and hurt forever,
but the pain that keeps you from functioning is another story.
I am so sorry for your loss.

I am so sorry you had to your Denali to sleep. I lost my sweet girl the day after Christmas and it still hurts so very much. I feel as though I am still in shock. Please come and tell us all about your baby. Sometimes that in itself helps ease the pain a little.
Ann

Andy,

I am SO sorry that you and your wife had to make that very hard and painful decision for your precious Denali. My husband and I also had to make that decision for our 12 year old lab, Rachael. I can relate to your story SO much! My husband and I also discovered that we couldn't have children. Rachael was our daughter, no doubt!

After I lost Rachael, I found this WONDERFUL support group and posted something very similar to yours....Does It Ever Get Better? I was touched by all the immediate responses I got. They all told me that in time the pain will get better. Although I have had many ups and downs and my own private battles, I can reassure you that they were right. Time and tears are your only friend right now. You both must experience the pain and take the time to cry and express your grief. I can honestly tell you (from my own experience) that if you rush it and think you "better", it will still be there, deep inside and will come back again and knock you down!!!

It is often posted in here, and I feel that I need to write this again for you and your wife, that you have now taken on the pain and suffering so that your sweet Denali doesn't have to anymore. When that was written to me I instantly knew that we did the right thing for Rachael. For all the years of joy and unconditional love she gave us, I would take on her pain a thousand times over again.

There is a poem that has been posted in here called "May I Go Now?" If you are interested, please do a search to find that poem. The two things that got me through the pain was knowing I did the most unselfish act of love for Rachael by taking on her pain and suffering for her, and reading this poem over and over again. I just know in my heart that Rachael was telling me she had hung on as long as she could and wanted to go now.

PLEASE feel free to come here and tell us more about Denali. I would love to hear all about her. I love all fur and feather babies, but I have such a special place in my heart for labradors.

My thoughts are with you!
Cheri

Dear Andy,

I'm so sorry about Denali. I can't answer your question as to when the pain will end...Shiloh has been gone for over 3 months and I still am struggling. I'm doing better, but I still miss her terribly.

The best advice I can offer is to come here, share your feelings, thoughts, and grief. Everyone here will welcome you and offer comfort through their own stories, poems, and words of advice.

Again, I'm so sorry.
Kathleen

Andy,
I am soooo sorry that you had to loose Denali. It is a very hard thing to loose a family member especially a furbaby. I also can't tell you when it will get better. All I can say is that you need to feel the pain and cry to heal. Coming here and expressing yourself or just reading what others write about their special furbaby helps. It takes time. Denali is at the Rainbow Bridge looking down on you and smiling because Denali knows how much you love her/him. Denali lives on in you and your wife. You are in my thoughts and I am very sorry to hear of your loss.
ChrissyW

Dear Andy,

My sympathy to you and your wife on the loss of your precious Denali. Do come here often. Everyone is so understanding and knows just what you're going through.

Thinking of you both.

Sincerely,

Lynn

HI,

I lost my BEAR, of 10 yrs, this past Feb. 28th,....he was the most beautiful freind anyone could ever want.....he was a black Lab as well.....I also had to make that decision to put him to rest...very painful....almost a year ago and I am barely beginning to to be able to talk about him and smile with my memories...but the funny thing is ,....I believe thats how they want it...they dont want us to suffer...I know it is natural...but you will be able , one day;.... to see through the cloud of grief that is encompassing you now, and stand in the sun of the awesome ; beautiful friendship and memories you were lucky enough to experience.....

best,

Frank

Hi Andy,

It's been 4 months for me now, since I put down my doodlebug Jake.. I think I cried non-stop for about the first month, and off and on for the next month. Now I cry occassionally but the heavy sadness is just below the surface every second of my day. The initial shock has worn off and I accept that he's gone, that was the hardest part, accepting that his life was really over.

Now is just the grim chore of learning to live without him - the new years holiday was hard for me, it's just so real, a new year and he didn't make it...

Time passing will help heal the pain but like someone else said on another thread, there is a light in me that has been permanently dimmed. No matter how many other dogs I may end up owning, my Jake was a really special, gentle, sweet, loving soul and I can't believe he's gone.

I figure for me to get used to it, living without him, it's going to take at the minimum a year.

It has been almost 3 months for me, I am doing better now but I had to go way down to come back up. My life will never be the same after Moose left my life, there is a huge void that I am just starting to learn to live with. I miss him with all my heart I know how you are feeling. Just minute by minute, hour by hour is the only way. I am so sorry for your loss. Pamela