Our beautiful Buffy was just killed by a car on Sunday night. We had four cats (including Buffy), her brother Oscar, her mother Matasha and our old cat Tassel. We brought them in late on Sunday night (1am) because I was working on a thesis. I had been working for three weeks straight so i couldn't spend much time with our cats. I said to them, I'm sorry but just give me a couple of weeks and this will be done.
She didn't come home Sunday night and the next day we looked around for her, asked our neighbours. On Tuesday, our neighbour said a friend saw a black long haired cat beside the road behind our house (we never drive that way and didn't think). The boys were in school and so my husband went to check and it was her. I don't think my heart could be more broken, my eyes won't stop crying.
I helped her mother give birth to her, I held and her brother from the first breath they took, I watched them grow and I couldn't let them go to new homes so I kept them. I named her Buffy because she was fearless, she had a strong spirit and she gave love like there was no tomorrow. She would always come to me and talk when I talked to her. She never ignored me (as some cats do), like she always had time for me. She would nibble our fingers when we didn't pet her and if they were out of reach, she would nibble our toes. If we were sitting, she would get right up and head butt our heads, like hey give me some loving (if all else failed our ears were prime targets too).
I can't describe how much this hurts, cause I saw her when my husband brought her home and I can't equate her poor battered body with how vibrant she was just a few days ago.
My middle son is just devasted, Buffy was sort of his cat too. He has been crying alot too.
I just want this not to hurt so much. I don't know if she suffered, I pray she wasn't laying there alone in pain. I miss her so much.
Thankyou for letting me post this, I think it helps to know other people will understand. Just because they don't talk or they are not as smart as we are, doesn't mean they don't feel and need us. They deserve just as much love as we can give them. Thankyou.

I am so sorry for your loss of Buffy. She sounds like a wonderful friend. I know it hurts; unfortunately it will continue to hurt because you loved her so much. But it does get better. I am sure that Buffy is watching over you now, loving you as much as always. But she has no pain now. She is happy and waiting for you at the Bridge.
Love,
Jennifer

Tricia, my sincere condolences regarding the loss of Buffy. Such a tragedy to lose Buffy that way.

Tony (Kudi's dad)

I found a gray and white kitten a few days ago that had been hit by a car. She was so beautiful. I took her to the vet because
there was nothing I could do for her. Her tongue had been pierced by her own tooth. She had a seizure. Even though she received
prompt medical attention she didn't make it.
I only had her for 45 minutes and I was crying my eyes out.
It was so unfair.
Be comforted to know that Buffy and my kitten are no longer in pain.
Take care,
A. Jonsdotter

Thankyou for your thoughts and kind words. I know you all know how this feels. Jennifer, Saki and Freyja sounded like special friends too. It was your message that gave me the courage to post and not feel like I was making a big thing out of nothing. I know what you meant when you said you sobbed and sobbed. I look out and forget that she won't be playing in the yard, I see her food dish and it hits me she will never come to my call again. I see the image of her the last time I saw her and I just can't believe she is gone. People around me don't understand why I feel so lost. Thankyou for understanding this, thankyou all.

There's nothing like a cat to soothe an academic. There's something about cats and books -- don't know what it is. The way they sit in your lap and purr while you read, and try to nudge the book -- "look at ME..."...

I don't think you said what you did with Buffy's body. We buried Freyja but had Saki cremated. Somehow, looking after the remains helps. I was just holding and petting Saki's urn today. I hate how cold the urn feels. But... sometimes it helps to hold it anyway. Some people create beautiful resting spots -- which is great if you aren't a plant killer (as I am...) ... Do whatever you can to memorialize her. Put a photo of her in your notebook(s), and keep one in your backpack.

Hi Jennifer,
She was soothing, she was also a mischief maker. We have a small pond and she would terrorize the fish in it. She never got any but tried alot. She also kept everyone else in line.
We buried her in our backyard in a baby sheet (she was one of our children after all), with photos of everyone who loved her. My husband thought of that because I think he knew that I was worried she would feel alone in the earth.
As I drive home I look up the street to where she was hit (it is around a bend), I even went there last night and thought this is so well lit, how could someone not have seen her? I worry that she was frightened in her last moments, that maybe she was on her way home or she was being chased. Everytime I come home I think Buffy is gone, she isn't coming home. I feel that maybe I am making too much of this, but even though I try to put it in the past I can't. I still feel her here, it is almost as if she is watching and waiting for me to let her go.
It is strange because when we had our cat Snuff put to sleep (cancer) I was really sad, but no where near as effected as with Buffy. i loved Snuffy but after a week I was OK (as OK as you can be), I don't feel OK now.
How are you doing?
Take care,
Tricia

I ran over a cat a long time ago, it was daytime and she came from nowhere maybe she got spooked in the garden, I don’t know but she just ran straight out in front of me, too fast for me to stop in time.

I got out the car and she just up and ran off into a nearby garden, maybe because I was only driving a mini it was light enough to have not hurt her too much, to this day I don’t know if she survived.

I knocked on the door of the garden she ran into and asked if they had or knew of anyone with a cat and described her, they said it sounded like a friends cat so I asked them to let them know so if she showed any signs they knew what was wrong and why.

It was one of the worst days of my life, it was a small turning and lots of cars around so you couldn’t go very fast if you wanted to and it was broad daylight, made me stop and think how easily things can go wrong while driving. Now I look under cars as I'm passing to make sure there isn’t a cat about to run across the road, but I know if they decide suddenly to just run out …..

I would say that the driver obviously got out to see if their was anything they could do, but it must have been instant so they laid her to the side of the road for you to find her and take her home.

It was a lovely thought of your husbands to put your photos in with her, he must be a very special man.

Love Sue

That was a nice idea -- burying her with the pictures. I put things in Freyja's grave.... no pictures though.

I think animals affect us differently -- just like people do. For me, it was Saki-- she was my soul mate. I miss Freyja, too. It's just not the same. Saki was my teddy bear, my snuggler. I would talk to her all day long. And she'd talk back. It's hard to explain...

But its ok... don't feel badly that you are taking Buffy's passing harder than Snuff's. Try to just feel grateful that you were blessed with such a special friend.

Love,
Jennifer